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"No no no no...Sorry Reba, she DOESN'T want another drink." Bert insisted, despite Lily's pleas.
"You're so mean to me Bert." Lily whined, putting her head on the table.
"I think it's time to go..mean old Uncle Bert is tired..." Bert said with a sigh.
Lily objected, eyes closed, face pressed up against the grimy bar table. Gerard fought the urge to touch her hair.
"Hey, guys...leaving." Bert said to Jeph and Quinn.
Jeph mumbled something about a taxi.
Bert nodded and stood up, "My cell is on, call me."
Gerard followed suit and stood up. Lily was still complaining..speaking into the table. Bert, unlike Gerard, didn't even think twice about touching her.
"Lily" Bert said, poking her in the ribs, "Up...lets go."
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As Lily stumbled into the parking lot, everything seemed hilarious to her. Bert's jean shorts. The neon sign. Gerard's jacket. Her shoes. The fact that she snorted when she laughed.
Pure gold.
Gerard locked his arm into hers, afraid she was going to fall. As they waited outside the car for Bert to unlock, Lily stared at Gerard, eyes hazy and blurred, a large, sleepy grin across her face. Gerard felt a bit comfortable under her blatant stare, and smiled back sheepishly.
Lily insisted on riding shotgun, and Bert and Gerard worked as a team to get her into her seat, and buckled in. Lily insisted she could do it herself, and swatted them away. To this, Bert laughed. As Bert drove back to the tour buses, Lily was turned around in her seat, and was talking, very happily, to Gerard.
"You look a lot better this tour. I mean, Im really glad, and so is Bert" she added, "that you..." she trailed off, pausing a bit. She just smiled and shook her head, "Yeah..."
Suddenly, Bert cut someone off and was honking loudly. Lily, gasped, startled at the commotion.
"Lily, turn around." Bert commanded, looking in the rear view mirror.
"What?" Lily frowned, "I'm talking to Geeberz...Noo.." she pouted, a bit hurt.
"Turn around. NOW." Bert said harshly.
"HEY." Gerard said, coming to her defense.
Flashing lights interrupted them all.
"FUCK" Bert yelled, frustrated, "That's why I wanted you to turn around, dammit...fucking cops..." Bert groaned.
Lily squinted, looking out the back window.
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Bert pulled over, and rolled down the window.
"Now, Lily, baby, sweety, please be quiet." Bert pleaded as the police officer walked up to the car.
Gerard signaled for Lily to turn around. She frowned and obeyed.
"Hello officer." Bert said with a smile, "Im sorry about what happened back there, he didn't see my car...and almost collided into me..it was horrible..."
"License and registration please."
Lily looked up at the ceiling, trying not to laugh.
Bert handed over the rental papers, and his license.
"Do you know how fast you were going?" the officer asked, looking through the papers with a stern look on his face.
"Uh....no officer." Bert declined politely
"80, in a 60 mile per hour zone..."
Bert remained silent.
"So, you not only violated a speed law, but also cut someone off in a very dangerous maneuver."
Bert nodded, "Im very sorry officer, I didn't see him...I-" Bert stopped as the officer got out his notepad and pen.
Suddenly, Lily leaned over Bert, laying her body across his lap, poking her head out the window, on her hands and knees,
"Listen, Sir, we were just trying to get home. Bert was just trying to get me home, because I feel sick. He didn't want me to throw up, in this nice new rental car." Lily explained, much to Bert's horror. Gerard sat in the backseat, helpless, and in complete dismay. He could see Lily's lacy black underwear poking out from underneath her jeans. Bert sat, shocked, as Lily negotiated their way out of a ticket.
The officer's stern face seemed to soften, "Well, alright then....but next time..."
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" I cant...believe..you did that.." Bert said as he helped Lily out of the car.
Lily ignored him, "Gerard, can you do my makeup now?" she asked as Gerard shut the car door.
Gerard laughed, "Sure."
Bert sighed, putting his hand to his forehead.
"Bert," Lily said, turning to face him, body straight and stiff, "I'm going with Gerard now."
Bert nodded, visibly worn from the nights events, "Ok Lil." he said, and enveloped her in a soft hug. Lily patted his back, "There there."
"Take care of her." Bert mumbled with a look of fatigue as Lily made her way to My Chem's vacant tourbus. The rest of the band was at a hotel party in town, leaving the bus empty.
Gerard nodded with a smile, and ran off to catch up with Lily.