yeah so. read it.
yeah. gerard way was making my life more complicated by the second.
and to make matters worse, the girl from starbucks was actually a student at MY school. she was a junior, and by the looks of it she had lots of friends. it kind of annoyed me the way she walked around, like she owned the goddamn place. or maybe she wasnt acting like that.
maybe, i was imagining her acting like an ass because its really what i wanted to see.
i was standing there pondering all this in between classes when i noticed her coming towards me. she stopped in front of me, and just stood there.
"...what?" i asked annoyed.
"move." she said. and threw some garbage away into the trashcan behind me.
nope. i wasnt imagining things. she was definitly an ass.
film was the only class left of the day for me, and all through it i couldnt stop thinking of that girl. the whole period i compared myself to her, my self esteem gradually lowering with every comparison. i wasnt doing very well in my classes. this scared me, as college was not far away and i wanted to go and be someone. that wasnt going to happen if i focused on boy trouble instead of education matters. this just made me feel worse about myself.
when the period ended, i walked past my locker not really caring if i needed a book or two for homework tonight. i just wanted to get home. i scurried out the door and leapt down the steps, not really in the mood to talk or hang out with the others at the moment.
i started off towards home.
wait, im supposed to go to gerard and mikey's after school.
which was now.
i really didnt feel like going, i had a pretty bad day and felt physically and emotionally drained. not just because of gerard though. i was stressed, almost to the point where i felt sick to my stomach every day. because of my home life, my shitty grades, my future. my future was the biggest part of all.
everything i did effected my future. i was paraniod about everything i do, not wanting it to upset my plans for the rest of my life.
forget going to the way's, i now felt like i was going to be sick.
well, i forgot i live like three houses down from theirs.
and i was standing right in front of it, frank sitting on the patio staring at me. oh wonderful, now ill HAVE to go in. this really blows.
he smiled at me softly, and got up, putting out the cigarette he was smoking. i really hated smoking, it was just disgusting. and he knew that.
"i was waiting for you." he said, with a 'could you take any effing longer?!' tone.
"sorry," i sighed, making a disgusted face from the smell of lingering smoke. he laughed, and led me inside. we went to the basement, which was usually where we liked to chill. sitting in there was mikey, bob, and ray. they were chatting happily and looked up when we entered the room. they stopped talking and waved like dorks, smiling and laughing. at least they were happy. hell, they seemed like they were having a blast. im glad ray and bob showed up. theyre really great guys.
"wheres gerard?" i asked cooly, like it really didnt matter all that much. but i did. where was he? HES the one who invited us over.
"mm, not here yet." mikey replied after swallowing his mouthfull of root beer.
"alright." i said, eager to see what this was all about.
we waited for about 15 minutes until gerard finally arrived.
i heard his voice come in the front door, laughing sweetly and talking to someone, and i immediatly lightened my mood, he always did that to me. my smiling features brightened as he walked through the basement door. however, they soon fell to a heartbreaking frown when i saw what else came through the doorway with him.