FicWad

A one shot. This is about Bert's drug use. It's a song Fic to the used's let it bleed.
If you guys like it, I will post its sequel. Please comment...... Oh and read MikeyWays Fics. They Rawk!!




Let it Bleed
I flattered my back against the small grimy couch and prepared my next hit. My hands shook violently as I poured the meth crystals onto the bent and soot blackened spoon. I was that wasted that I could barley turn on the lighter. I held it up to the metal and watched the white crystals liquefy before my eyes. I took another draw from my joint before sucking the mixture up into my waiting syringe. I slipped the fabric of my long sleeved shirt up and searched for a place to inject the drugs. I felt guilty as I stared at the numerous puncture marks from previous hits. The scabs never got a chance to heal as they were constantly being re opened by my filthy needles. I raised the syringe to a particularly fresh wound and slid the needle into the tender flesh. I ejected the amphetamine and sighed deeply. I could feel the buzz beginning in my fingertips and spreading as the poison flowed through my veins. I jumped when the door opened, causing me to withdraw the needle quickly scratching a deep gash into my forearm. I looked up at the intruder, my gaze locking on two luminous green orbs. 'Gerard' I muttered forcing a small false smile. A disgusted look spread across his features. Those green eyes filled with tears as he shot from the room slamming the door behind him. 'Fucking drama Queen'! I shouted after him 'go and get fucked'! Gerard didn't approve of drugs, at least not any more.


This poisons my intoxication I
Broke the needle of in my skin
Picked the scab and picked the
Bleeding and assumed that it
Was all in vain


I threw the syringe down onto the coffee table, stuffed a small bag of marijuana into my pocket before rising to chase Gerard. I'm not sure what made me chase after him but here I am. I'm walking down a corridor with a puke green floor. I can't determine if the floor was painted that color or if in fact it was vomit because I could see several people doing just that. My head began to swim as I walked. It was a good feeling. I've reached a large metal door with exit printed on it in the form of a glowing green sign. I pushed on it and it reluctantly opened. Cold air hi my face and stung my eyes but I was hardly aware of it. I started down the metal steps that led to the car park. I tripped on the third step from the top. I mildly felt every blow that the stairs dealt me on the way down before hitting the ground hard. A voice yelled my name and rushed forward grabbing my arm. I could taste blood as I was pulled to my feet. Gerard gazed at me with his cat like eyes. Concern was plastered on his expression. It was obvious to me that he had just been crying. A mixture of eye shadow and liner ran down his cheeks. I raised a hand to his face attempting to wipe it away, but he recoiled from my touch as if I were diseased and infectious. That's how I felt anyway. I fell hopelessly to my knees. 'I have a problem' I sobbed

A positive scab that's never
Healing calloused hit me in the
Face a burning bridge that's so
Misleading poisons more
Potent now with the flame.


Gerard placed his hand on my shoulder. 'Thank you Bert' he whispered into my ear.

~

The next day I sat on my bus with Gerard. We talked about everything from music to our pets. My head ached and pounded from the drugs and booze I had used the previous night. Gerard noticed that I was sweating profusely and asked me if I were okay. I nodded grabbing his hand for support as we left the bus for a bit of air. There was no moon tonight. A fog hung in the air and fireflies danced aimlessly around the night sky. It was beautiful but I was to sick to pay much attention. My skin itched and burned as if it was on fire and a strong pain clung to my abdomen. Gerard led me down a forest trail into the woods just next to where our buses were parked. It wasn't long before we came across a clearing with a small barbeque area built in the center. Gerard steered me towards the wooden picnic table and instructed me to sit. I stared at him as he lit a small fire in the designated pit. It flared up bathing us in an eerie orange glow. Gerard silently sat next to me. 'I'm gonna get clean' I said to him grabbing his hand and holding it close 'for you.

A smile spread across his face. 'I'd love to see it Bert' he said 'When you can walk along and not be afraid of anything or anyone. When your biggest concern is not where you're going to get your next hit'.

Gerard looks beautiful in this light. It made the dark circles under his eyes all but disappear and cast a rosy tinge across his full cheeks. 'I love you' I said throwing my arms around his shoulders and burying my face in his neck


Let it bleed and take the red for
What it's worth watch the fire
Fill your lungs with smoke
For the last time if you feel like
Dying you might wanna sing


A small weedy looking man sat next to me on the same grubby couch as the night before. He held up his joint and I inhaled the smoke deeply. I blew it into the air and downed the last of my beer. He passed me a syringe and I injected myself. All the while my mind was on Gerard and the words he had spoken. I had failed him. I wasn't strong enough to fight. It had barley been 3 hours since I had made my promise to him and I had already blown it. I staggered from the room and down the same corridor as last night. The cycle was repeating. I opened the metal door and moved down the stairs. I didn't fall this time, but I through up in a small potted plant as soon as I had reached the car park. I fell onto my back breathing heavily. I heard footsteps and instinctively knew who it was. Gerard looked at me. A sense of pure hurt shone through his eyes. He shook his head dropping a bouquet of white roses onto the bitumen. My favorite flower. He turned and walked away without saying a word. I stretched my arm forward and clenched the flowers, thorns digging into my skin. I flicked the card open and pulled it close to my eyes in an attempt to get focus. After a few seconds I read.

"Dear Bert

Good luck and don't give up.
Remember I love you.

Gerard."

I burst into tears.

The fire department
Couldn't drown this city
They didn't even try to
Wash it clean and what
Did you think that I was sober?
Put me out cause I'm on fucking fire


Gerard refused to speak to me after that night and I fully understand why. I betrayed and cut him deep. Eventually though we regained speaking terms. It had been two moths since that night. Instead of yelling at me like I had expected Gerard comforted me, held me close and told me that everything would be okay. I told him that I would get clean and that we'd walk unafraid together like he had always wanted, but im a fucking liar. It's not two months later and I'm sitting in the back room of a filthy rock club snorting lines, smoking pot and god knows what else. Gerard has no idea, im lying to him. I force a grimy rust encrusted needle into my skin and inject myself with a cocktail of narcotics. I wait for the familiar rush but it never comes. Instead I clutch at my throat, I cant breath. I can't physically move at all. My vision blurs and I can feel my body thrashing around. Vomit pours down my front. All I can think of before my mind goes blank is Gerard, my beautiful, kind, understanding Gerard. He tried to help me, I failed him. Now I have to face the consequences. 'I love you" I manage to squeeze through my lips 'I'm so sorry'. My body falls limp and I neither see nor feel anything more.

A positive scab that's never healing
Regret that I kept this clean the most
That I can do for you is keep on
Lying, it's not a lie if you can let it sing.


End.