Categories > Movies > Star Wars > Keep Falling Down
PART 5 - Don't Try to Fight
Anakin looked down at his wife's worry-lined face and considered what to say. How could he possibly tell her that he had foreseen her death? How could he explain the evil vision of his life as a Sith Lord? Their children stolen away from them? A Republic in ruin? His life in shambles, filled with longing, death and destruction?
No, Anakin could not tell Padmé these things.
"I'm leaving the Order," he said at last.
"Oh, Ani...!" Padmé sighed with sadness. Her hand caressed his cheek.
Anakin's eyes closed and he leaned in to her, cherishing what might well be their last touch. That, too, was something he could not tell her. So a lie to protect the lies seemed to be the only solution.
Padmé pressed herself to his chest. "You shouldn't have to give up what you love to be with the ones you love."
With bitter resolution, Anakin agreed.
"Anakin," Obi-Wan's voice spoke softly from the door frame, interrupting their embrace. "The Council is waiting for us."
Anakin's hands traced along Padmé's arms as he backed away from her. He loved her. He would always love her until the end of time. Words failed to connect to the truths welling in his heart. They held hands at arm's length as he memorised the moment.
"Come back to me as soon as you can, Anakin," she pleaded her request.
"Of course, I will," he lied.
Their eyes met, and the light in Padmé's eyes died when she saw the coldness lurking behind Anakin's façade. Trying to hide his bitterness, Anakin let her go and turned away, following Obi-Wan out into the corridor.
"Still making promises you cannot keep?" said Obi-Wan quietly.
"You don't need to remind me," Anakin snarled softly.
Anakin glanced at the man walking beside him. As if feeling his gaze, Obi-Wan looked up, concern and worry clearly written in the older Jedi's eyes. Anakin glanced away, and they continued their journey in silence.
Anakin felt Obi-Wan's concern like soft whispers in the Force. Once, they were friends, very close. Even after his Knighthood, the Council had placed them together on missions, recognising the two's ability to work in tandem. Obi-Wan had been the closest thing Anakin had ever known to a father, and now that they were equals, Anakin finally realised the respect Obi-Wan had for him as a fellow Jedi.
Just a few days before, the two of them were laughing and joking. Anakin felt they were inseparable. Then yesterday happened. His friend, Palpatine, his enemy, Sidious, had become one person. He had faced the man and made a decision that had changed the course of the galaxy.
Only he hadn't made it. This Dark Vision was maddening. His memories returned time and again to it; its realness affected how he thought and felt.
Like how he felt about his mentor, Obi-Wan.
When had things gone so horribly wrong?
Anakin remembered the Dark Vision in perfect clarity.
Padmé had come to warn him. Obi-Wan was looking for him.
"Obi-Wan is /alive/?" Anakin, now appointed Sith Lord Darth Vader by Palpatine, asked incredulously.
He had his answer momentarily when he felt his former master's presence lurking in the shadows. Igniting his lightsabre, Anakin lunged at the apparition, sparks flying as his blade slashed at a durasteel support, revealing Obi-Wan's hiding place.
Padmé had betrayed him.
With all the power the Dark Side could muster, Anakin reached out his hand toward Padmé and closed it in a fist, lifting her with his power, crushing her delicately perfect neck.
Anakin caught a flash of blue in his peripheral vision, distracting his concentration. Anakin turned his attention to it, lifting his sabre to meet it. He found himself blade-to-blade with Obi-Wan.
Feverishly, former master and padawan fought. This was no sparing match with quick feints and unveiled smiles; there were no jests, only harsh taunts, vicious lashes of barbed tongues. All of his pent-up rage and frustration poured out of Anakin, and it was all Obi-Wan could to hold his own against his younger and stronger pupil.
Anakin pushed against Obi-Wan's defences, the older man giving ground, unable to do what he was sent to do-destroy the Dark Sith Lord. Finally, the older Jedi tricked the Sith Lord to a steep slope, and Anakin lost his footing on the soft lava sand. As Anakin leapt overhead, Obi-Wan took the tactical advantage. With tears in his eyes, his blue blade flashed, taking Anakin's limbs one-by-one from him.
Falling into the ash, Anakin felt the superheated cinders burning at the edges of his cloak as he desperately held to the shifting black sand beneath his artificial arm's grip.
Anakin felt his hand slip, flames licking at his hair. Toxic fumes burned his lungs. He choked out, "Obi-Wan-!" He desperately called out through their bond, crying for his master's hand.
It was too late. The bond had been severed.
"You were the Chosen One!" Obi-Wan screamed down at him, his hands balled to fists around both their lightsabres, one in each hand. "It was said you would destroy the Sith, not join them! It was you who would bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness!"
Anakin could no longer hear above the roar of spewing lava around him. A burst of searing hot molten metal hit Anakin's flesh. He burst into flame.
"I hate you!" He screamed at his adversary, the Dark Side carrying his words where sound could not.
Whatever was left of the man known as Anakin Skywalker died that day.
Anakin didn't even try to push away the Dark Vision any more. The memory of his searing flesh, the anguish of betrayal, were all too real. As real as his footfalls along the long dark corridors of the Jedi Temple, as real as the breath in and out of his lungs. As real as Obi-Wan beside him now.
Balling his hands to fists, Anakin stopped in mid-stride. He loved Padmé, but she had betrayed him. Obi-Wan was his brother, his father, his master, but Anakin hated him.
Obi-Wan glanced back, seeing Anakin's conflict written on his face. Gently, he reminded, "The Council is waiting for us-"
"Don't tell me what to do!" Anakin barked.
Feeling the darkness spiraling around him, Anakin drew it to himself almost gleefully. With all the anger and anguish within him, Anakin howled as he whirled away from Obi-Wan and struck his power like a fist against the marbled hall staircase. The column trembled and cracked from the base. The floor shook beneath their feet.
A youngling clan was coming out from under the archway when Anakin's Dark Force fist struck it. Shrill screams pierced his ears as the children recoiled in pain and fear.
Anakin glared down at the children, seeing himself reflected in their eyes.
A blonde boy with electric blue eyes stared back.
Shock shivered down Anakin's spine as he thought of another boy, yet unborn.
Luke.
Obi-Wan reached out a hand to the children, trying to send a calm reassurance to them. "It's going to be all right-"
Anakin turned on his heel and fled down the long hallway.
"Anakin!" Obi-Wan shouted, following. The Jedi Master's heart beat heavily against his chest as he ran to catch up with his former apprentice. "Anakin!"
With inhuman abruptness, Anakin whirled to face his former master, and in a deep, dark voice, projected, "Anakin is /dead/!"
Obi-Wan stopped where he stood, pulling back from the cold energy emanating from Anakin. Blood roared in his ears, the sound repeating over and over again, You failed. You failed. You failed.
Sinking to his knees, Anakin spoke aloud his own mantra. "He's dead.... I'm dead...."
With palms held open, Obi-Wan stood there before Anakin, unable to reach out, but unable to leave. A contingent of Jedi was running from both sides of the hallway, converging on them.
For the second time today, Anakin found himself before the Council. Although unshackled, Anakin felt he might as well have come before them as a common criminal. He had tapped into the Darkness and used its power within the Temple walls. The last time these hallowed halls had felt the power of the Dark Side was over a millennium ago when the Sith seized the Temple and nearly wiped out the Jedi.
Anakin glanced over his shoulder. Two Jedi flanked him, their finely-tuned senses trained on him. The Council was so complacent. How did they think two meagre Jedi could guard him?
Go away, Anakin commanded his Dark thoughts. I'm not listening. But he was listening and had been listening for a long time. Even before the Dark Vision, Anakin had heeded the call of anger and hate, borne out of his fear. The Darkness felt him on its doorstep, and was calling his name. How could he resist the call of such an intimate friend?
I will resist. I must, Anakin vowed.
For Padmé and their unborn children.
His escorts guided him to the centre of the circle, Obi-Wan following to join him. Anakin met Mace's gaze. Despite the calm exterior of Mace and the rest of the Jedi, the air was charged with cautious energy.
"The healers have finished examining Senator Amidala," Mace explained matter-of-factly. He raised the arm he had propped on his chair and waved it, palm up. "They find no signs of injury nor illness."
Yoda continued, "Why think you harm shall come to her? Hmm?"
"I told you, Master," Anakin replied, his voice controlled, his lips pressed tight.
"Ah, yes, your vision," Yoda nodded solemnly and tapped his gimmer stick at the base of his chair as he contemplated how to continue. Looking up, he pointed at Anakin. "Through the Force, past and future you may see, but be wary the credence you place on them."
"Visions may come in dreams," Mace added coolly, "but Jedi are still women and men, too. Sometimes a dream is just a dream."
"Aaah! Yes!" Anakin's voice raked over his words like durasteel pulled along transmorphic shielding. Anakin whirled on the Council members, the flaps of his tunic flying. Accusatory sarcasm dripped from his words as he continued, "It's only sleep. It's just a dream." Anakin now faced the man standing beside him-his former master, Obi-Wan. "And dreams pass in time," Anakin mimicked the older man, icy shards of long-held anger openly exposed in his eyes.
Obi-Wan's eyes widened. Anakin had fumed in front of the Council before, but with a sharp word from one of the Masters, a quick glance from Obi-Wan, and Anakin would duck his head and recoil to some place else, some place more peaceful, Obi-Wan had hoped. Now he finally understood. Anakin had simply reacted like a defeated slave, holding the pain of anger inside, letting it fester like an untreated infection. The dam he had created held too much, and now it was breaking.
The taller man pressed his presence against the Jedi Master, breathing hotly down his neck. Obi-Wan stood calmly, very still, like prey trapped under a predator's paw. The rest of the Jedi felt the Force energy shift, dark tendrils clinging to Anakin. "I'm so sick of you! All of you!" he barked, tossing a dark glare over the serenely quiet Masters around him.
"Anakin-" Obi-Wan spoke calmly, raising his hand to place on Anakin's shoulder.
"No!" Anakin shrugged him off. "You tell me what to do, what to think! How to eat and how to sleep! You tell me I'm the Chosen One, yet you tell me to follow your lead! Enough!" The last word rose to the rafters, echoing with the power of the Force Anakin placed in it.
Silence followed, Anakin's ragged breathing the only sound. He closed his eyes, his brow furrowing in dismay. This would do Padmé no good. Nor him. Anakin slowed his breathing and released his frustration to the void.
Reopening his eyes, Anakin took a step toward Mace Windu and drew his sabre. Suddenly the whole room was ablaze in the fading light of Coruscant as ten Jedi leapt to their feet and lightsabres came to life. Anakin paused a moment, staring down the defensive posture of Mace's lavender blade. Placing his palm up, Anakin fell to one knee and bowed his head.
Lifting his sabre to the Jedi Master before him, Anakin spoke, "I am unworthy of this weapon; take it from me."
Mace's dark eyes flickered up to meet Obi-Wan's-confusion in the dark man's gaze, sadness in the other's. Deactivating his blade, Mace returned it to his belt, and then with reluctance, took the sabre offered to him.
The only Jedi in the room to remain seated throughout, and one of the only two who drew no lightsabre against Anakin, Yoda sighed and bowed his head with remorse. "The deed is done. A Jedi Knight, Anakin Skywalker is no longer."
Anakin looked down at his wife's worry-lined face and considered what to say. How could he possibly tell her that he had foreseen her death? How could he explain the evil vision of his life as a Sith Lord? Their children stolen away from them? A Republic in ruin? His life in shambles, filled with longing, death and destruction?
No, Anakin could not tell Padmé these things.
"I'm leaving the Order," he said at last.
"Oh, Ani...!" Padmé sighed with sadness. Her hand caressed his cheek.
Anakin's eyes closed and he leaned in to her, cherishing what might well be their last touch. That, too, was something he could not tell her. So a lie to protect the lies seemed to be the only solution.
Padmé pressed herself to his chest. "You shouldn't have to give up what you love to be with the ones you love."
With bitter resolution, Anakin agreed.
"Anakin," Obi-Wan's voice spoke softly from the door frame, interrupting their embrace. "The Council is waiting for us."
Anakin's hands traced along Padmé's arms as he backed away from her. He loved her. He would always love her until the end of time. Words failed to connect to the truths welling in his heart. They held hands at arm's length as he memorised the moment.
"Come back to me as soon as you can, Anakin," she pleaded her request.
"Of course, I will," he lied.
Their eyes met, and the light in Padmé's eyes died when she saw the coldness lurking behind Anakin's façade. Trying to hide his bitterness, Anakin let her go and turned away, following Obi-Wan out into the corridor.
"Still making promises you cannot keep?" said Obi-Wan quietly.
"You don't need to remind me," Anakin snarled softly.
Anakin glanced at the man walking beside him. As if feeling his gaze, Obi-Wan looked up, concern and worry clearly written in the older Jedi's eyes. Anakin glanced away, and they continued their journey in silence.
Anakin felt Obi-Wan's concern like soft whispers in the Force. Once, they were friends, very close. Even after his Knighthood, the Council had placed them together on missions, recognising the two's ability to work in tandem. Obi-Wan had been the closest thing Anakin had ever known to a father, and now that they were equals, Anakin finally realised the respect Obi-Wan had for him as a fellow Jedi.
Just a few days before, the two of them were laughing and joking. Anakin felt they were inseparable. Then yesterday happened. His friend, Palpatine, his enemy, Sidious, had become one person. He had faced the man and made a decision that had changed the course of the galaxy.
Only he hadn't made it. This Dark Vision was maddening. His memories returned time and again to it; its realness affected how he thought and felt.
Like how he felt about his mentor, Obi-Wan.
When had things gone so horribly wrong?
Anakin remembered the Dark Vision in perfect clarity.
Padmé had come to warn him. Obi-Wan was looking for him.
"Obi-Wan is /alive/?" Anakin, now appointed Sith Lord Darth Vader by Palpatine, asked incredulously.
He had his answer momentarily when he felt his former master's presence lurking in the shadows. Igniting his lightsabre, Anakin lunged at the apparition, sparks flying as his blade slashed at a durasteel support, revealing Obi-Wan's hiding place.
Padmé had betrayed him.
With all the power the Dark Side could muster, Anakin reached out his hand toward Padmé and closed it in a fist, lifting her with his power, crushing her delicately perfect neck.
Anakin caught a flash of blue in his peripheral vision, distracting his concentration. Anakin turned his attention to it, lifting his sabre to meet it. He found himself blade-to-blade with Obi-Wan.
Feverishly, former master and padawan fought. This was no sparing match with quick feints and unveiled smiles; there were no jests, only harsh taunts, vicious lashes of barbed tongues. All of his pent-up rage and frustration poured out of Anakin, and it was all Obi-Wan could to hold his own against his younger and stronger pupil.
Anakin pushed against Obi-Wan's defences, the older man giving ground, unable to do what he was sent to do-destroy the Dark Sith Lord. Finally, the older Jedi tricked the Sith Lord to a steep slope, and Anakin lost his footing on the soft lava sand. As Anakin leapt overhead, Obi-Wan took the tactical advantage. With tears in his eyes, his blue blade flashed, taking Anakin's limbs one-by-one from him.
Falling into the ash, Anakin felt the superheated cinders burning at the edges of his cloak as he desperately held to the shifting black sand beneath his artificial arm's grip.
Anakin felt his hand slip, flames licking at his hair. Toxic fumes burned his lungs. He choked out, "Obi-Wan-!" He desperately called out through their bond, crying for his master's hand.
It was too late. The bond had been severed.
"You were the Chosen One!" Obi-Wan screamed down at him, his hands balled to fists around both their lightsabres, one in each hand. "It was said you would destroy the Sith, not join them! It was you who would bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness!"
Anakin could no longer hear above the roar of spewing lava around him. A burst of searing hot molten metal hit Anakin's flesh. He burst into flame.
"I hate you!" He screamed at his adversary, the Dark Side carrying his words where sound could not.
Whatever was left of the man known as Anakin Skywalker died that day.
Anakin didn't even try to push away the Dark Vision any more. The memory of his searing flesh, the anguish of betrayal, were all too real. As real as his footfalls along the long dark corridors of the Jedi Temple, as real as the breath in and out of his lungs. As real as Obi-Wan beside him now.
Balling his hands to fists, Anakin stopped in mid-stride. He loved Padmé, but she had betrayed him. Obi-Wan was his brother, his father, his master, but Anakin hated him.
Obi-Wan glanced back, seeing Anakin's conflict written on his face. Gently, he reminded, "The Council is waiting for us-"
"Don't tell me what to do!" Anakin barked.
Feeling the darkness spiraling around him, Anakin drew it to himself almost gleefully. With all the anger and anguish within him, Anakin howled as he whirled away from Obi-Wan and struck his power like a fist against the marbled hall staircase. The column trembled and cracked from the base. The floor shook beneath their feet.
A youngling clan was coming out from under the archway when Anakin's Dark Force fist struck it. Shrill screams pierced his ears as the children recoiled in pain and fear.
Anakin glared down at the children, seeing himself reflected in their eyes.
A blonde boy with electric blue eyes stared back.
Shock shivered down Anakin's spine as he thought of another boy, yet unborn.
Luke.
Obi-Wan reached out a hand to the children, trying to send a calm reassurance to them. "It's going to be all right-"
Anakin turned on his heel and fled down the long hallway.
"Anakin!" Obi-Wan shouted, following. The Jedi Master's heart beat heavily against his chest as he ran to catch up with his former apprentice. "Anakin!"
With inhuman abruptness, Anakin whirled to face his former master, and in a deep, dark voice, projected, "Anakin is /dead/!"
Obi-Wan stopped where he stood, pulling back from the cold energy emanating from Anakin. Blood roared in his ears, the sound repeating over and over again, You failed. You failed. You failed.
Sinking to his knees, Anakin spoke aloud his own mantra. "He's dead.... I'm dead...."
With palms held open, Obi-Wan stood there before Anakin, unable to reach out, but unable to leave. A contingent of Jedi was running from both sides of the hallway, converging on them.
For the second time today, Anakin found himself before the Council. Although unshackled, Anakin felt he might as well have come before them as a common criminal. He had tapped into the Darkness and used its power within the Temple walls. The last time these hallowed halls had felt the power of the Dark Side was over a millennium ago when the Sith seized the Temple and nearly wiped out the Jedi.
Anakin glanced over his shoulder. Two Jedi flanked him, their finely-tuned senses trained on him. The Council was so complacent. How did they think two meagre Jedi could guard him?
Go away, Anakin commanded his Dark thoughts. I'm not listening. But he was listening and had been listening for a long time. Even before the Dark Vision, Anakin had heeded the call of anger and hate, borne out of his fear. The Darkness felt him on its doorstep, and was calling his name. How could he resist the call of such an intimate friend?
I will resist. I must, Anakin vowed.
For Padmé and their unborn children.
His escorts guided him to the centre of the circle, Obi-Wan following to join him. Anakin met Mace's gaze. Despite the calm exterior of Mace and the rest of the Jedi, the air was charged with cautious energy.
"The healers have finished examining Senator Amidala," Mace explained matter-of-factly. He raised the arm he had propped on his chair and waved it, palm up. "They find no signs of injury nor illness."
Yoda continued, "Why think you harm shall come to her? Hmm?"
"I told you, Master," Anakin replied, his voice controlled, his lips pressed tight.
"Ah, yes, your vision," Yoda nodded solemnly and tapped his gimmer stick at the base of his chair as he contemplated how to continue. Looking up, he pointed at Anakin. "Through the Force, past and future you may see, but be wary the credence you place on them."
"Visions may come in dreams," Mace added coolly, "but Jedi are still women and men, too. Sometimes a dream is just a dream."
"Aaah! Yes!" Anakin's voice raked over his words like durasteel pulled along transmorphic shielding. Anakin whirled on the Council members, the flaps of his tunic flying. Accusatory sarcasm dripped from his words as he continued, "It's only sleep. It's just a dream." Anakin now faced the man standing beside him-his former master, Obi-Wan. "And dreams pass in time," Anakin mimicked the older man, icy shards of long-held anger openly exposed in his eyes.
Obi-Wan's eyes widened. Anakin had fumed in front of the Council before, but with a sharp word from one of the Masters, a quick glance from Obi-Wan, and Anakin would duck his head and recoil to some place else, some place more peaceful, Obi-Wan had hoped. Now he finally understood. Anakin had simply reacted like a defeated slave, holding the pain of anger inside, letting it fester like an untreated infection. The dam he had created held too much, and now it was breaking.
The taller man pressed his presence against the Jedi Master, breathing hotly down his neck. Obi-Wan stood calmly, very still, like prey trapped under a predator's paw. The rest of the Jedi felt the Force energy shift, dark tendrils clinging to Anakin. "I'm so sick of you! All of you!" he barked, tossing a dark glare over the serenely quiet Masters around him.
"Anakin-" Obi-Wan spoke calmly, raising his hand to place on Anakin's shoulder.
"No!" Anakin shrugged him off. "You tell me what to do, what to think! How to eat and how to sleep! You tell me I'm the Chosen One, yet you tell me to follow your lead! Enough!" The last word rose to the rafters, echoing with the power of the Force Anakin placed in it.
Silence followed, Anakin's ragged breathing the only sound. He closed his eyes, his brow furrowing in dismay. This would do Padmé no good. Nor him. Anakin slowed his breathing and released his frustration to the void.
Reopening his eyes, Anakin took a step toward Mace Windu and drew his sabre. Suddenly the whole room was ablaze in the fading light of Coruscant as ten Jedi leapt to their feet and lightsabres came to life. Anakin paused a moment, staring down the defensive posture of Mace's lavender blade. Placing his palm up, Anakin fell to one knee and bowed his head.
Lifting his sabre to the Jedi Master before him, Anakin spoke, "I am unworthy of this weapon; take it from me."
Mace's dark eyes flickered up to meet Obi-Wan's-confusion in the dark man's gaze, sadness in the other's. Deactivating his blade, Mace returned it to his belt, and then with reluctance, took the sabre offered to him.
The only Jedi in the room to remain seated throughout, and one of the only two who drew no lightsabre against Anakin, Yoda sighed and bowed his head with remorse. "The deed is done. A Jedi Knight, Anakin Skywalker is no longer."
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