"I'd like you to do me a favour, Professor Snape, if that's at all possible."
Or, Twenty-One Letters to the Order of the Carefully Crisped Canary
Letter Three - "I'd like you to do me a favour, Professor Snape, if that's at all possible."
The third letter caught everyone off guard, simply because it arrived much earlier than the previous ones.
It was, in fact, well before lunch, and the weather was wonderful.
The nice day allowed everyone who wanted to be to be in the backyard, which was apparently just as safe as the house. In fact, everyone was out there somewhere, except for Severus, who was inside brewing a potion, and the twins, who were probably doing something along the same lines that was much more explosive.
Outside, Ron and Charlie were playing off against Ginny and Bill, while Luna and Hermione watched from the ground (well they were actually reading, but they glanced up occasionally to make sure no one had fallen off).
Remus, sitting under a tree, had something that he was keeping from the eyes of everyone else, his wand out, and was (as he put it) 'tinkering'. It was a general theory that he was sulking because Severus had refused to play cards with him outside.
Molly, Arthur, Kingsley, Tonks, Minerva, Moody and Albus were sitting around an enlarged picnic table, discussing Voldemort, the war, and politics. This really just means that they were gossiping, of course.
It wasn't long before Fred and George wandered outside, their hair and freckles an eye-wateringly bright shade of blue. No one bothered asking how it had happened, as this wasn't the first time the twins had emerged from their room displaying evidence of their experiments. Molly just sighed at them.
Severus, surprisingly, wasn't far behind them. He immediately gained everyone's undivided attention, as not only was he always reluctant to surface from the house, but he had Hedwig perched on his shoulder and a highly amused smirk on his face.
Even Ron, Charlie, Ginny and Bill stopped flying and joined everyone else near the picnic table to hear the latest missive from Harry.
Remus pocketed whatever he had been tinkering with and quickly walked over, attempting to steal the letter from the Potions Master's hands. Severus easily avoided him.
"Well?" Moody growled after several silent minutes. "We don't have all day, Snape."
Severus's lips twitched slightly. "If I recall, Moody, you actually /do/."
He earned himself a withering glare in reply.
Ignoring this, he turned to the Headmaster. "Albus. I have a message for you."
"Yes. Potter wishes for me to inform you that you suck."
Hermione sighed. The twins snorted. Luna and Ginny giggled. Remus snickered. The other three Weasley boys hit the ground in hysterical laughter.
Albus looked somewhat put out.
Severus silently handed the letter to the still-snickering werewolf before retreating back into the house and his potions lab.
Remus looked down at the note in his hands.
Still alive, see?
I'd like you to do me a favour, Professor Snape, if that's at all possible. I need you to convey a message to the Headmaster for me.
Tell him he sucks.
Well, that was the thing that started it all. Just the whole 'Professor Snape, please tell the Headmaster that he sucks' thing. Yeah. Nothing special. Oh well. Heh.