Categories > Anime/Manga > Bleach

Cucumber Sandwiches

by Cadence 0 reviews

It was no doubt the shinigami uniform that was the problem. Bizarreness and in-denial!Ishida. (Yaoi implied.)

Category: Bleach - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Characters: Ishida Uryuu, Kurosaki Ichigo - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2006-12-30 - Updated: 2006-12-30 - 1392 words - Complete

4Funny
Ishida couldn't sleep. It was no doubt the shinigami uniform that was the problem. It just felt odd, completely discounting any mental qualms he had about being in the uniform of the enemy. He just wasn't used to the way it hung so loosely...

Inoue didn't seem to be having any problems. He glanced over at her curled-up form, her hair a splash of color in the dark.

"Kurosaki-kun..." she murmured, and giggled quietly.

Ishida sighed. He wondered sometimes how Inoue managed to completely ignore the insanely dangerous situation they were in. They were isolated in a city of hundreds of shinigami who would no doubt kill them without a moment's thought. Even disguised, they knew so little about this place that they couldn't pass for long. How could he fall asleep, when at any moment...

Ishida sighed again. Okay, so it was highly unlikely that they would be killed in their sleep. They were hidden in a store room, behind some crates, and wouldn't be seen if someone glanced in casually. No doubt they'd wake up if a more intense search started, but even if they didn't, people would probably assume they were just slacking off on their patrol, or maybe hidden away for some tryst... Ishida blushed at that thought. Really, it was a much better idea to sleep now. Tomorrow they'd begin moving again, and the situation would be much more dangerous. He was tired, but...

"Kurosaki-kun, no..."

There it was. Every time he got close to sleep, he'd hear Inoue murmur something. It was unbearably distracting, and made him irrationally jealous... which was silly. He didn't like Inoue-san that way, did he?

"Kurosaki-kun!" Not again. Still, he wondered what she was dreaming.

"Kurosaki-kun, if you wanted your own cucumber and banana sandwich, you only had to ask."

Ishida's head snapped to look at Inoue, still curled up on the floor, as if looking at her intently would make that last sentence make any more sense. Eventually he laid his head back and pondered. Well, people did make cucumber sandwiches... Not anyone that he'd ever come in contact with, but still...

"Oh, Ishida-kun, you want one too? I need more bread..." He jumped at the sound of his own name. Now he really wondered how her dream was playing out. He could just see it... Kurosaki cheerfully eating a bizarre sandwich while Inoue hummed as she chopped cucumber in preparation for another...

"Ah, Ishida-kun, here you go!"

Ishida looked up into Inoue's smiling face as she presented him with a plate. He took it. Upon inspection, it did in fact have round slices of cucumber and banana placed in layers between the pieces of bread.

"Ah... thank you, Inoue-san."

"What! How come Ishida's has more banana in it than mine, Inoue?" Ishida turned to his left, where Kurosaki was sitting with half of a sandwich remaining, scowling as he inspected its apparently banana-deficient contents critically.

"Ah! I'm sorry, Kurosaki-kun! I'll make you another sandwich, I have plenty of banana left... I just need more bread, I can pick some up at the store around the corner... I'll be right back!" Inoue waved energetically as she headed for the door.

"Inoue-san. Kurosaki was being rude, you don't need to..." Ishida started, but she was already out the door.

"Just enjoy your sandwiches! I'll be right back!" Inoue yelled from halfway down the stairs.

"That wasn't polite, Kurosaki. We are her guests, after all."

Kurosaki bit off half of his remaining sandwich before answering, a few crumbs coming from his mouth. "But yours had more banana. It wasn't fair."

Ishida glared, then picked up his own sandwich for a tentative bite. He just got a bit of bread. Kurosaki stuck the remaining quarter of his sandwich in his mouth, then disappeared to the kitchen. Ishida chewed and swallowed as Kurosaki returned with a bunch of three bananas.

"What are you doing? Inoue-san said..."

Kurosaki waved a hand. "She has plenty. I'm hungry." He pulled a banana away from the others.

"You must really like bananas, then." Ishida said.

That got him a look. "Eat your sandwich." Kurosaki began to peel his banana.

Ishida took another small bite of his sandwich. Hmm. It tasted strange, but it wasn't really that bad...

Kurosaki was looking at him curiously. "You know, Chad was right, you do eat slowly." He finished pulling the last peel from his banana.

Ishida sputtered, and quickly put his sandwich down to better gesture frantically. "What?! Just because I eat politely, and don't..." He trailed off as Kurosaki bit off fully half of his banana in one chomp. Something strange twisted inside him.

"How do you do that?!" He asked incredulously.

Kurosaki looked at him again with a strange look in his eyes. "Want to try?" he asked, placing his half-eaten banana aside and picking up another.

Ishida blinked. "What..." But before he could finish the thought, a peeled banana was shoved in front of his face. He recoiled a bit, then looked above the banana at Kurosaki, who was now standing over him.

"Okay. Open your mouth, and don't bite down 'til I say."

"Kurosaki, if you think I'm going to sit here and-"

"Don't you want to try?"

Ishida stared at Kurosaki in disbelief, then, still not sure why he was complying, slowly let his mouth fall open.

"You're going to have to open wider than that." Kurosaki scolded.

Swallowing all reluctance, Ishida forced his mouth as wide as it would go, and ignored how silly he felt.

"Good. Now slide your mouth forward over the banana. And don't bite 'til I say."

Ishida leaned forward until the first centimeter or so of the banana was between his teeth. He looked up at Kurosaki again and felt a rush of warmth rise to his cheeks. Embarrassment, he decided. Why was he doing this again?

"That's hardly even a nibble!" Kurosaki declared. "You have to take at least twice as much as that." Ishida narrowed his eyes in a glare, then returned his gaze to the fruit in front of him and moved his mouth forward again. He paused at the limit of what he could comfortably chew and swallow.

"More." Another few millimeters.

"More." Again.

"More." His lips and mouth felt dry, and he made an abortive attempt to moisten them, but stopped when his tongue pressed against the banana.

"More." Now he could feel the tip of the banana pressing against the back of his throat, and to stop himself from gagging he glared challengingly up at Kurosaki. The smug look in his eyes brought up a rush of anger that distracted him quite effectively.

He was inhaling through his nose, now, but somehow it still didn't seem like he was getting enough air, and his breaths came hard and fast. Still, Kurosaki just looked at him for a minute before he responded.

"Okay, I guess that's enough. Bite." Ishida brought his teeth down viciously, and then struggled to swallow his mouthful. Eventually he managed, and, panting, looked up again at Kurosaki, who still had two thirds of a banana in his hand and had a satisfied look on his face.

He held the rest of the banana out to Ishida, who was glaring at him with fire in his eyes. "More?"

Ishida was torn between simply punching him, tackling him, grabbing that banana and shoving it down his throat, or the most bizarre option of all, accepting. He tried to catch his breath as he weighed the options.

Suddenly, though, he heard a door opening...

Ishida sat bolt upright, fortunately quietly. There were voices of shinigami in the storeroom, but they apparently got what they came for quickly, because they were gone again before Ishida broke through the fog of his dream and figured out where he was.

He looked to his side, to Inoue, who was now asleep quietly, then down at himself. His uniform was slipping off his shoulders, and the skin underneath was flushed and sweaty. He tried to pull it back into some semblance of order before he laid back down. He should try to get some more sleep, though he wasn't sure how he would manage with his heart racing like this...

It was no doubt the shinigami uniform that was the problem. All the black made it much too hot.
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