Amber is in her junior year of high school. Her curent boyfriend is not the best to have. She meets someone who will change her life for good at one point and better the next. I hope you like it...
The group gets out of the SUV and the two couples linked arms and the other 3 guys linked arms just joking around. Once they were inside, they hostess looked up and saw that Pete Wentz just walked in and went star struck. Pete just walked up to her and smiled.
"I need a table for 7 and it would be nice if it was in the back. Please?" he asked her.
"I will get you something right away" she walked to the back and came back in what seem like lighting speed. "We have some for you right now. Please follow me." We all nodded and followed her, she set all of the menus down and we all sat down. "Your waiter will be right with you."
"Thank you" we all said. She walked away. We all opened up our menus. I already knew what I wanted; I wanted hot tea, and this lamb dish. I really don't remember what is in it but it is really good. By the time the waiter came we all knew what we wanted and we ordered. We talked almost about everything. I sat by Brendon and Pete, and then it was Ryan, Lindsay, Spencer, and Jon. The waiter came back with our drinks. Pete being the only one who could drink got a Moroccan beer. Lindsay both got hot tea and the guys all got coke. We go to a different restaurant; they still got the same things.
"I was really impressed with how you guys played today. We will need to talk about recording; I understand that the couples are really close. So, we will talk about where we are recording and maybe the girls could go with us." Pete told us.
"That would be great." Brendon said as he kissed me on the forehead. (I am going to skip ahead to the next day. Pete is already gone, he had to go and work with the rest of Fall Out Boy. He told us he would be keep in touch and when he had the paper work together he would come back. At this point in time, I was over at Brendon's house and we were all alone. I know from the past times I have been in a house alone with a guy, it did not go so good. But, I trusted Brendon. I felt like I need to talk to Brendon and tell him how much I loved him for all of the stuff he has done for me. And I wanted to be totally truthful with him. So today I decided that I would tell him about my dad.)
Brendon and I are sitting on the floor of his living room, with some music in the background.
"Brendon, I want to tell you some things. First I want to say thank you for everything you have and will do for me. It meant a lot to me. When I open my eyes, after what happened at to see you there holding my hand, it just made me want to get better quicker." As I said it, he toke my hand and held it for dear life, as if Connor was coming toward me.
"I would do that for you, for ever and always." He told me and kissed my forehead.
"Also, there is something I have not told you about something." He got a have sad, have worried look. Almost as if I cheated on him. "Do you remember my dad you met when I was in the hospital?" he nodded. "Well, he is my step dad. My real dad past away when he and I got into a...."I started to cry. He just pulled me to him and wrapped his around me. "When I was little. He died trying to save me. Once he saw that no matter what some one was going to get hurt, he put himself on me and then the car hit and the paramedics pronounced him died on site." I said this all while still crying.
"Oh my gosh, Amber. I had no idea. So is this why you are like you are when you drive" I really could not reply, but I nodded and just put my head on his chest and listened to his heart beat for the longest time. Every now and then he would pet my back, or run his fingers through my hair. It calmed me down, finally I stopped crying.
"I have another thing to tell you. I just want this all out, so we don't have any secrets."
"What is it hun?"
"Well, I wanted to know, that I think I love you. You know that I am not big on saying I love you to any guys right now. I toke me forever to tell you."
"I love you too. I am glad you can open up to me. I will never hurt you. I want you to know that. And I would like for you to come with us when we leave for the recording. I mean we will leave after the school year ends. I don't want you or me to drop out of high school for music or me." He always knew how to make me laugh. I just leaned in and kissed him lightly on the lips. I went to pull away and he pulled me in again and deepened the kiss. When we finally pulled apart I just looked into his eyes, and I wanted to stay like that forever. I picked me up and we sat on the couch and we turned on a movie. We watched one of my all time favorite movies, Peter Pan. I know I do not seem like a Disney girl, but I love Pete Pan. He really does not like it, but he will sit through it every once in a while. I watch it only when I miss my dad. He always called me his little Wendy and someday my Peter Pan would come and ask me to read him stories and be his mother but, only for pretend. When I thought this, I could feel new tears ready to come out. I got up to go to the bath room, Brendon let go of me and I knew he did not want to.
I went into the bathroom, and once the door was shut all the tears I have been holding up for a long time came. I tried to not make to much sound; I really did not want to put more on Brendon. I sank to the floor and as I did I looked down at my wrists and remembered when the one time I felt I was in control of my own pain. I took out my wallet and took out the razor blade that I kept in there for the reminder of the pain I went though a couple years ago. Also it reminds me of the one and only time I hurt my self for control, and to take the pain away. I again desired that control once more. I was still crying when I lowered the razor blade to my left wrist. I never got to make contact with skin, because Brendon opened the door and saw what I had in my hand.
"Amber, hun, what's... why do you have a razor blade?" he asked me. I could not answer him, all I could do was drop the razor blade on the floor, which he picked up and put on the sink. I sank down more to the cold floor of the bathroom. He picked me up and carried me to the couch. Where he held me again like before. After awhile he picked me up again and put me on the other side of the couch so I was looking at him. "I know you probably don't want to talk right now. But, please hun, you need to tell me what's really wrong. Why you were going to cut yourself? Please, I don't want to lose you again."
"I...I didn't mean to scare you. It is just all the emotions hitting me at once. The razor blade you saw, I have always had. I cut my self once before, when the memory of my dad hit me once really bad. I toke and thought if I cut myself, I would feel better. I keep it near me to remind me of what I did to myself. Never wanting to let myself get to the place I was at. To tell you the truth, that was not the only reason I cut myself." I told him having to stop, and dry my eyes.
"Thank you for telling me that. If you don't want to go on I understand. I just did not-" I cut him off.
"No, I need to tell someone about this. The other reason I cut myself that one time, was because...So you know Connor was not the first boyfriend that had hit me before. His name was John. He was really angry; he did not have a good home life. And When I would come over, he would take his angry out on me. He never hurt too much, but still he hit me. It drove me to hurt myself to get over it. But, I promise that I have not cut myself since." He hugged me.
"I am glad you told me. I will never hurt you and I don't want you to hurt your self either. So, what made you upset like that. If you want to."
"Well, I never told you why I love Peter Pan. Well, before my Dad died, he always called me his little Wendy, and that one day my Peter Pan would come and ask me to come away with him and clean for him and ask me to be his mother. Oh and to read him stories. But just for pretend."
"Well, maybe I could be your Peter Pan and take you away." I just smiled.