Ranma gets, well, the chance of a lifetime - or does he?
Standard disclaimers apply: I do not own Ranma 1/2 nor do I plan to make any profit from it.
Ranma sat on the roof of the Tendo dojo, gazing at the now tranquil landscape before him.
The oft-maligned martial artist sighed. "Man, what a day. 'Course, it seems like I've been havin' days like this every day." He shook his head ruefully. "I only wish I could change things somehow. I guess I'm stuck in a rut."
In the calm night sky, a star twinkled.
His thoughts moved to the events of the all-too typical day.
Boy! Get out of bed!
Ranma! We have school today!
You owe me, Saotome.
Ranma honey, I've got your lunch!
No, Shampoo has lunch for Airen!
Fine, Ranma, eat with your precious fiances!
Ranma sighed deeply. "What a messed-up, typical day. Stupid life."
Without warning, a light flashed in front of the young martial artist. Ranma instinctively held up his hands, but the light faded as suddenly as it had appeared. Ranma squinted at a floating blurry figure that bobbed up and down in front of him.
With a swirl of sparkles, the figure coalesced into strange-looking tiny man, grinning wildly.
Ranma rushed to his feet and stepped back into a ready stance. "Whaddya want, you weird little freak?"
The little man laughed uproariously, a sound like teeth crunching on tasty roasted nuts while a family of chattering squirrels looked on in amusement. He peered at the young Saotome. He chuckled, "Ah, ah, Mister Ranma sir! I no want nothing, Mister Ranma sir! I here to give Mister Ranma sir what he wants. What he needs." The strange little man winked at Ranma. "What he desires."
Ranma's mind spun. "Wha? What are ya talkin' about? What I want? How would you know?"
The little man bowed in midair. "Frag-Beautiful the name. Frag here to grant Mister Ranma sir wish!"
Ranma looked warily at the floating fool. "Uh, what wish you talkin' about?"
"The wish Mister Ranma sir just made," Frag said. "That he wished he could change things!" Frag clapped his hands in glee. "Oh, oh, Frag has something special to show Mister Ranma sir! Let Frag show him what Frag can do for him!"
"Uh, ok," Ranma said slowly. "What can ya do for me?"
Frag grinned and clapped his hands together. "This."
The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and Pantyhose Taro was sulking.
"Stupid old freak, where the hell could he be hiding?"
Taro whirled, only to see Ranma Saotome standing tall in front of him, looking cool and confident, decked out in beautiful clothes. Taro smirked, and teased, "Nice girlie-clothes, fem-boy."
Ranma shook his head while smiling benevolently. "Taro, I'm afraid you can't call me that anymore, because my curse has been cured. And besides, we have no reason to fight, especially because of this!" Ranma thrust a sealed envelope at the Chinese cursed boy.
Taro looked balefully at Ranma while he ripped it open. As he read the enclosed letter, his expression softened and tears began to flow down his cheeks.
"Ranma, this document is a legal Chinese and Japanese document changing my name!"
"That's right, friend," Ranma said. "Your new name is now 'Taro'."
Taro hugged Ranma tightly. "Thank you Saotome."
From the alleyway, Happosai looked on and choked. "I've been wrong all these years. Time to make amends."
A little while later, Ranma had gathered together all his friends and foes at the Tendo dojo. His gaze swept over the assemblage. "I'm glad you all could come here. I've been on a long journey and I think I've figured out solutions to our unique problems."
Nabiki smirked at the pig-tailed martial artist. "Yeah right, Saotome. No one could come up with who knows how many solutions for these stubborn fools."
Ukyo glowered at the middle Tendo sister. "Shut up and let Ranma-honey talk!"
Shampoo pushed Ukyo forcibly into the wall. "Shut up, Stupid Spatula Girl! Ranma is Shampoo's Airen!"
Akane growled at Ranma, "Ranma you jerk, this is all your fault!" She grabbed a chair and smashed it over Ranma's head.
Ranma sat peacefully on the dojo floor, looking none the worse for wear. "Calm down everybody. I think what I have to say will interest all of you." He turned to Ryouga. "Ryouga, old friend, I have something for you. A cure for your unique 'problem'." Ranma held out a hand and a wave of purple light washed over Ryouga. "Now Ryouga, you will never be lost again! Go to your dear Akari." Ryouga grinned and sped out of the building, moving unerringly toward Akari's house.
Ranma turned toward Mousse and held out a hand, letting a wave of green light slam the blind cursed Amazon between the eyes.
Mousse tossed off his glasses in glee. "Now I will defeat you Shampoo!" With a quick jab, he knocked Shampoo unconscious.
Cologne frowned. "Well, now that Mousse must marry Shampoo, I guess we'll head on back to China. Farewell, former son-in-law!"
Ranma waved. "Farewell Elder." After the Amazons had left, Ranma turned to the Kuno siblings. "You too have horrific mental problems that need fixing." A wave a golden light enveloped Kodachi and Tatewaki.
Kodachi gasped. "Ranma-dear, I am dreadfully sorry about everything! I will no longer trouble you."
Kuno stood up and straightened his shoulders. "Indeed, Saotome, my sister speaks the truth. We shall no longer cause the troubles we once did. By my troth, we are off!"
Ranma watched them go, and whirled toward Ukyo. "Ucchan, I only like you as my close friend," he said quickly.
Ukyo looked confused for a moment, then smiled beatifically at the remaining group. "Thank you for telling me, Ranchan. I'll go live my life to the fullest now." She quickly ran out of the dojo.
The Tendos and Saotomes turned to Ranma.
"What is your plan now, Ranma?" Nodoka inquired.
"To marry Akane and live happily ever after."
Akane simpered, "Oh, Ranma!"
Ranma gaped and shook his head. "Are ya saying that could be me?"
Frag grinned even wider. "Yes, yes. Mister Ranma sir interested?"
"You bet," Ranma smirked. "I'm completely interested."
Ranma walked down the streets of Nerima, feeling very pleased with himself. "Man, I can hardly wait until I see everyone! This is gonna be great!"
He spotted Pantyhose Taro sulking and rushed over. "Hey Taro!"
"What do _you_ want, fem-boy?" Taro snarled.
Ranma presented an envelope with a flourish. "You can't call me that anymore, Taro, my curse is gone."
Taro snorted and grabbed the envelope. "Yeah, sure. What the hell is this?"
Ranma smiled at the Chinese boy. "You'll see. Just open it."
Taro rolled his eyes and ripped it open. He quickly looked it over and then turned to Ranma, an incredulous look on his face. "What the hell is this?" he repeated slowly.
"It's a legal document that changes your name," Ranma said. "Your new name is now Taro."
Taro crumbled up the paper and tossed it on the street. "You stupid moron! Taro is my _last_ name. Now my name is Taro Taro, you stupid fem-boy! That's just as bad!" He punched Ranma in the gut and walked away.
Ranma straightened up and scratched his head. "Huh, I guess he's right. Funny how I didn't think of that before. Ah well, that won't make much difference. I'll go see if I can find everyone."
He hopped onto a nearby roof and began scanning the streets.
A little while later, he had found Ryouga wandering in a park.
"Hey Ryouga, heads up!"
"Wha?" Ryouga turned in time to see a blast of purple light cascade over his body. "What was that, Saotome? Some underhanded new trick?"
Ranma grinned at the former lost boy. "No, Ryouga, now I've removed your getting lost problem. Now you can go to Akari's!"
Ryouga snorted and shook his head. "I don't think so, Saotome. There's no way I'm leaving Akane unprotected."
"But, but, I cured you! Now you don't need Akane anymore," Ranma stammered.
"I don't _need_ Akane? How dare you?!" He punched Ranma in the stomach and slowly walked away.
Ranma rubbed his eyes and sighed. "Dang, what gives? Stupid Ryouga."
"Prepare to die, Saotome!" Mousse leapt down from a nearby roof, chains erupting from his multitudinous robes. Whirling, Ranma slammed the Amazon male with a blast of green light, knocking Mousse off his feet.
Ranma grinned and held out a hand. "Now that you're no longer blind, Mousse, you can challenge and defeat Shampoo, and you guys and Cologne can go back to China!"
Mouse looked strangely at Ranma. "What? I could never purposefully hurt Shampoo!" He gasped suddenly and threw off his glasses. "I really can see perfectly! Now I can see beautiful Shampoo in perfect clarity! We shall continue this later, Saotome." Mousse bounded off toward the Nekohanten.
Ranma grabbed his temples. "Man, oh man! I can't believe this! How come nothing's working? I gotta go find Ukyo."
The young martial artist raced over to Ucchan's at top speed. Ukyo was sweeping the in front of the restaurant as Ranma charged up.
"Ucchan, listen, I only like you as a friend," Ranma blurted out.
"What was that?"
"I said I only liked as a friend," Ranma said again.
"Stop speaking so fast, I can't understand you. Say it slowly this time."
Ranma sighed but acquiesced. "Oh, all right. Ucchan, I only like you as a friend."
Ukyo's face turned red. "What?! How dare you say that to me? After all we've been though?! Leave me alone Ranma, I don't want to talk to you right now." Ukyo turned her back on him and continued sweeping the ground.
Ukyo began whistling loudly, while blinking back tears.
With his head hung low, Ranma trudged toward the Tendo dojo. "I can't believe it. How could I have screwed up so badly? Guess I'll just go talk to Akane and tell her how I feel." He sighed deeply. "Stupid luck."
Five hours later, a bedraggled Ranma sat on the Tendo dojo floor surrounded by his parents and the Tendos."
"Well, boy? You had something to tell us?"
"Yes, I do. Akane?" Ranma turned the youngest Tendo daughter.
Akane blushed and looked away. "What is it, Ranma?"
"RANMA! How dare you even think about declaring your love for Akane! I'll see you in hell first!"
"Saotome! Sully not the good character of fair Akane, foul miscreant!"
"AHOHOHO!! Ranma-dear, you know very well it is I whom you wish to declare your love for!"
"Shut up Crazy Gymnastic Girl! Ranma is Shampoo's!"
"Saotome, how dare you attempt to seduce Shampoo?!"
Akane turned her back on Ranma and walked toward the stairs. "Fine, Ranma. Have fun with all your stupid girlfriends!"
Ranma grabbed his head and groaned. "Oh man, I wish this never happened!"
"You got it!"
Ranma looked up at Frag, only to find himself still on the roof.
"Uh, hold on a second, little guy, did any of that just happen?"
Frag laughed and shook his head. "Of course not! I don't have that kind of power! All I can do is make pretend! Ah hahahahahaha!"
"Is there supposed to be some sort of moral or something I'm supposed to learn from all this?"
"A moral? Yeah, right! I'm just playing around! Hee hee hee!"
"What's wrong with you? What right do you got to mess around with me like that?"
Frag giggled and vanished.
"Hey!" Ranma yelled. "Don't leave! Stupid guy."
A little while later, Ranma was downstairs watching television with Akane and Nabiki.
Akane turned to her older sister. "Hey, Nabiki, it's that genie show you like."
Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Ooh, excellent. Of course, if I had a wish, I certainly wouldn't waste it like that idiot on the show."
Akane shook her head and turned to her presumptive fiance. "Hey, Ranma, what would you wish for?"
Ranma chuckled and stretched back. "Absolutely nothing."
Author's Notes: Well, I finally found the time to actually finish something. Hopefully one of these days I'll be able to post one of my larger stories. That'd be exciting. As I remarked at the beginning, I had been reading all of those "final choice" when I thought of this story. I've read so many "Ranma becomes immensely powerful and solves his Nerima problems" that I thought, hey wait a minute, what if things didn't go as planned, even if Ranma was immensely powerful? Since most of these fics don't explain where his powers come from, I didn't think it was important.
Signing off until next time-
"The only good martial artist is a hungry one." - Genma Saotome