Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Family Issue
Are You Real?
4 ReviewsHarry wakes up and takes charge. *Reformatted*
Reviews
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Family Issue
(#) koppe 2007-01-22 05:24:00 AM
Good story so far, hope you'll keep it going through their budding relationship and preferbly until their child is born (or better, it finishes Hogwarts :-).
Thought you got a little too technical about the egg+sperm-cell -- as well as missed a few facts (like it would not be a featus for a while yet, but rather a zygote and a little later a blastocyst). That the sperm and egg combined; and a bond was forged between the parents, would've sufficed.
I'm looking forward to more chapters soon (keep up with the sex-descriptions), keep up the good work!Author's response
Thank you for reading and responding; it is an excellent way to help improve my writing. I wanted to mark a time when the bond between embryo and parents first began and the image of the yin and yang was one that I have actually seen in developing embryos - I love that image and wanted it in my story. I have this story outlined to the point where the baby is born, beyond that I'll let the reviewers let me know if I should sequalize. -
Family Issue
(#) chokeondeezage 2007-01-22 10:41:19 PM
Uh-oh, this could muck with everybody's plans. I think that she has a big decision to make in regards to Harry. And he might react very badly to her being Bellatrix.Author's response
Thank you for reading and reviewing. Yep, things are about to get interisting ("May you live in interesting times") but never underestimate the power of chemistry. . . -
Family Issue
(#) Geovanni_Luciano 2007-02-17 12:40:50 PM
OK, slightly redeemed in this chapter. Much more content is still needed. I would suggest that if you're going to do chapters justice strive for at least 3000 words plus per chapter. Off to your next chapter.