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Categories > Original > Poetry

A mile away

Standing far away to conceal my love.

Category: Poetry - Rating: G - Genres: Romance - Characters:  - Published: 2007/01/22 - Updated: 2007/01/22 - 121 words - Complete

Reviews

• A mile away

  (#) MarkPoa 2007-01-23 07:33:52 AM

  Interesting freeverse. The speaker seems to switch from wistful longing to a mild arrogance (in the second stanza) to a bit of a sad realization and back to wistful again. I think the second stanza stands out as being a bit different in tone from the whole piece. Not sure if you intended it to be that way.
  
  Still, I thought this was well-written, though a bit average in terms of imagery and being moving.

  Author's response

  Thanks alot for reviewing. Your the first person that has actually givin me postive critisism. O and yeah didn't completely do that intentionally but this poem I wrote about a certain guy so the imagery is actually basically what I see. But I can understand the average I actually got one of the lines out of a song. tehe. cheating yes but it works.

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