Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Canine Cupid
Who is Snoopy anyway?
9 reviewsJoe is being (successfully) strict with Dax, Dax is being beagle-y cute, Caroline is being helpful and Brenda is being sleazy. My idea of an update.
5Original
W h o i s S n o o p y a n y w a y ?
Joe hadn't heard from Brenda for the last five days so by now he was seriously starting to have doubts about his kissing skills.
"Man, why are you puckering up like that?" Andy asked him, a disgusted look on his face.
"Reminds me of the time Pete had this repulsive piece of spinach stuck between his teeth and when he tried to get it out the Growlie Face was born," Patrick thought back on fond moments. For some reason he found that 'fond' and 'slightly disturbing' seemed to go hand in hand when it came to memories involving his buddy Peter.
"Yeah, one of the many marks I left on planet Earth," the bassist grunted contently. "I could've done without the peen-shaped mark though..."
"That's alright, Pete, no one really talks about it anymore," Andy's voice tried to soothe him.
"What? No one talks about Little Pete anymore? I can't believe people forgot about him so quickly..." Big Pete was shocked.
Patrick shook his head in confusion and then pointed at Joe who had been too busy to throw an insult at Pete, wondering wether or not to call Brenda later. Some girls liked to be chased, right?
"Don't forget to show up at 9 a.m. tomorrow," Patrick reminded the lead guitarist of the time their label had set the final check on the new record.* "No being late, no excuses."
"I'll be there," Joe replied, still absent-mindedly. Seconds later he pulled himself out of the quicksand (there's magic in the fro) that was thinking about what he could have possibly done wrong with Brenda and said farewell to his bandmates.
When he arrived at home a while later he made himself a sandwich and threw a piece of it onto the floor for Dax. "This probably defeats the purpose of having him trained but what the heck. Everyone should have a treat once in a while," the man thought to himself.
This definitely defeated the purpose of Carl's tableside manner training.
The beagle yelped for another bite but Joe decided it was time to let the strict, yet just Dog Daddy out. "Retreat to your basket, Dax," he said with a serious tone in his voice and pointed at the door of the kitchen.
The dog cocked his head to the side and gave him a confused look.**
"Your basket, Dax," the man repeated louder than before.
This made the puppy get up and trod towards the door in the direction of his basket.
Joe grinned, "I rule, man."
Halfway out of the kitchen Dax turned around and shot a last glance at his owner, as if to check if he really, really, REALLY had to go.
The man quickly made a straight face and pointed at the door again without uttering a word. Dax emitted some sort of sighing sound and vanished behind a corner.
-
A few hours later Joe had finally gathered up all his courage and called her.
"Hello?"
"Hi," he replied.
"Oh, hi, Joe," Caroline said. She didn't believe in cell phones so she couldn't tell who was calling her before she answered.
My bad if you thought he had called Brenda. Ha.
"Hello," the man said back.
Silence.
"Um, did you want something or just exchange greetings over the phone?" Carl asked after about half a minute had passed. Despite the mocking content of her question her voice sounded friendly. This guy was one of a kind.
"No, ah, yeah, ah, maybe," was the helpful reply.
The woman sighed and thought to herself, "I hope he's not the one responsible for the lyrics in the band."
"Ok... So what's up?" she tried to get him talking.
Joe scratched the back of his head. (Genuine fro-feeling, ladies and Casey.) "I kinda need your advice."
Soon Caroline had established that he didn't need advice regarding Dax but regarding women. Obviously Curly didn't have a lot of female friends, or at least not one that he could ask this certain thing he wanted to know from her.
"So, we've been out two times. We just went to a bar. I paid and all..."
Carl rolled her eyes.
"... and we already kissed. And now I wanna know if I should call her again or wait until she calls?"
"Aha, aha," the woman said.
"But what if she never calls?" Joe whined.
Caroline waited a few seconds to make sure the whining was over and then replied, "Well, Joe, unfortunately I'm not the best at the female dating-mating ritual myself..."
"But you are a chick," he pointed out sharp-wittedly.
"Correct, Joe. A CHICK, not PSYCHIC... Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean that I automatically know what this other woman expects from you."
The man told her that he really wanted to make this work. Brenda was the first female in a while who didn't date him just because he played guitar in a famous band.
Even though that wasn't a lie per se, he didn't mention that the other girls who had dated him because he was the guitarist of a famous band thought that he was that dude from New Found Glory, Reel Big Fish or Bowling For Soup. Joe had let some of them believe whatever they wanted for fear that they would inquire after Pete as soon as they found out he was in his band. Like already hinted at, Joe wasn't usually recognized in public much unless he walked next to Patrick or Pete. Or if he was out with topless Andy; those kind of tattoos just stuck to your mind like... a huge colorful blob. Certainly stuck to your mind more than a wrecked comparison anyway.
After ten minutes of Joe moaning about his situation and Carl telling him to stop moaning about his situation as well as, "If you like her, call her.", which was not the expert advice he had hoped for, he decided to do just that.
"Might be better if you wait a bit though," the woman suggested.
"What? I thought you thought I should call her now?"
"Well, soon. Not now. You sound worked-up and that's definitely not attractive."
"Thanks for letting me know you find me repugnant. And such a subtle way of putting it," he huffed in mock-anger.
"You're welcome, Joe... Say have you been out with Dax yet? Wanna come with my boys and me? Might take your mind off this intriguing girl for a while. Get a clear head and stuff," she replied.
He agreed and half an hour later they and their dogs set out for a nice walk.
-
After Joe had taken Brenda to a nice (= very expensive) restaurant on Friday evening, she asked if she could see his home. A rockstar like himself had to live in a palace, she giggled.
"How about we start out by you showing me your favorite room?" the woman asked. Supposedly she thought Joe's favorite room would be his bedroom. And I regard it as my personal pleasure to inform her that, in fact, it was the-
"Game room. Here it is!" Joe spread his arms to indicate the sheer greatness of a huge room filled with two giant TV screens, uncountable gaming consoles and their respective games. (Pst, a good fourth of them were cheating modules.)
The woman let out a sound of appreciation, "Very impressive."
"You like computer games?"
Joe couldn't believe the luck of finding a female who shared his fanatism for the only real sport for people in the 21st century, the only sport that distinguished the half-assed hobby gamers who simply obsessed over Nintendogs (Hey! I take that personally!) from the ambitious and determined Kings of the Consoles: The one and only Digital Thumb Athletics, held several times a week at the Trohman residence. Every single time 'JoErLy' had climbed the rocky and dangerous path to the very top of every single highscore list.
When asked about the secret of his success in an interview on the very special occasion of the 250th time the DTAs were held, Joseph Trohman had replied that it took a strong will, not being scared of the risk of getting two sore thumbs and a lot of stamina. When further questioned if it helped at all that there was virtually no virtual competition (and both the interviewer and the interviewee had chuckled at this wording - which probably had to do with the fact that they were the same dorky person with short curly hair who used a Gameboy as a microphone) since he was the only one playing, Trohman had replied, "That's totally beside the point, Troy."
Sometimes even I can't grasp the geekiness of this character.*
Brenda nodded eagerly, "Totally."
"Awesome! Do you wanna play a game? What games do you like?" Joe's tongue almost tripped because of the speed it was moved.
"I like jump-and-run games," she answered.
"Oh," the man commented. "Girl games."
The woman giggled and then placed a hand on her hip, strutting her stuff, "In case that has gone unnoticed, Joseph: I am a girl."
"Right," he replied and decided to play along. "And one after my taste, if I may add."
Let's get this over with: They played games for a while, they made out on the couch of the game room for a while and then they had sex in Joe's bedroom. For a while.
___________________________
* Like with the dog stuff on here, and English, I have no idea what I'm talking about.
** Inspired by Casie's last review.
* Or my own, for that matter.
Joe hadn't heard from Brenda for the last five days so by now he was seriously starting to have doubts about his kissing skills.
"Man, why are you puckering up like that?" Andy asked him, a disgusted look on his face.
"Reminds me of the time Pete had this repulsive piece of spinach stuck between his teeth and when he tried to get it out the Growlie Face was born," Patrick thought back on fond moments. For some reason he found that 'fond' and 'slightly disturbing' seemed to go hand in hand when it came to memories involving his buddy Peter.
"Yeah, one of the many marks I left on planet Earth," the bassist grunted contently. "I could've done without the peen-shaped mark though..."
"That's alright, Pete, no one really talks about it anymore," Andy's voice tried to soothe him.
"What? No one talks about Little Pete anymore? I can't believe people forgot about him so quickly..." Big Pete was shocked.
Patrick shook his head in confusion and then pointed at Joe who had been too busy to throw an insult at Pete, wondering wether or not to call Brenda later. Some girls liked to be chased, right?
"Don't forget to show up at 9 a.m. tomorrow," Patrick reminded the lead guitarist of the time their label had set the final check on the new record.* "No being late, no excuses."
"I'll be there," Joe replied, still absent-mindedly. Seconds later he pulled himself out of the quicksand (there's magic in the fro) that was thinking about what he could have possibly done wrong with Brenda and said farewell to his bandmates.
When he arrived at home a while later he made himself a sandwich and threw a piece of it onto the floor for Dax. "This probably defeats the purpose of having him trained but what the heck. Everyone should have a treat once in a while," the man thought to himself.
This definitely defeated the purpose of Carl's tableside manner training.
The beagle yelped for another bite but Joe decided it was time to let the strict, yet just Dog Daddy out. "Retreat to your basket, Dax," he said with a serious tone in his voice and pointed at the door of the kitchen.
The dog cocked his head to the side and gave him a confused look.**
"Your basket, Dax," the man repeated louder than before.
This made the puppy get up and trod towards the door in the direction of his basket.
Joe grinned, "I rule, man."
Halfway out of the kitchen Dax turned around and shot a last glance at his owner, as if to check if he really, really, REALLY had to go.
The man quickly made a straight face and pointed at the door again without uttering a word. Dax emitted some sort of sighing sound and vanished behind a corner.
-
A few hours later Joe had finally gathered up all his courage and called her.
"Hello?"
"Hi," he replied.
"Oh, hi, Joe," Caroline said. She didn't believe in cell phones so she couldn't tell who was calling her before she answered.
My bad if you thought he had called Brenda. Ha.
"Hello," the man said back.
Silence.
"Um, did you want something or just exchange greetings over the phone?" Carl asked after about half a minute had passed. Despite the mocking content of her question her voice sounded friendly. This guy was one of a kind.
"No, ah, yeah, ah, maybe," was the helpful reply.
The woman sighed and thought to herself, "I hope he's not the one responsible for the lyrics in the band."
"Ok... So what's up?" she tried to get him talking.
Joe scratched the back of his head. (Genuine fro-feeling, ladies and Casey.) "I kinda need your advice."
Soon Caroline had established that he didn't need advice regarding Dax but regarding women. Obviously Curly didn't have a lot of female friends, or at least not one that he could ask this certain thing he wanted to know from her.
"So, we've been out two times. We just went to a bar. I paid and all..."
Carl rolled her eyes.
"... and we already kissed. And now I wanna know if I should call her again or wait until she calls?"
"Aha, aha," the woman said.
"But what if she never calls?" Joe whined.
Caroline waited a few seconds to make sure the whining was over and then replied, "Well, Joe, unfortunately I'm not the best at the female dating-mating ritual myself..."
"But you are a chick," he pointed out sharp-wittedly.
"Correct, Joe. A CHICK, not PSYCHIC... Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean that I automatically know what this other woman expects from you."
The man told her that he really wanted to make this work. Brenda was the first female in a while who didn't date him just because he played guitar in a famous band.
Even though that wasn't a lie per se, he didn't mention that the other girls who had dated him because he was the guitarist of a famous band thought that he was that dude from New Found Glory, Reel Big Fish or Bowling For Soup. Joe had let some of them believe whatever they wanted for fear that they would inquire after Pete as soon as they found out he was in his band. Like already hinted at, Joe wasn't usually recognized in public much unless he walked next to Patrick or Pete. Or if he was out with topless Andy; those kind of tattoos just stuck to your mind like... a huge colorful blob. Certainly stuck to your mind more than a wrecked comparison anyway.
After ten minutes of Joe moaning about his situation and Carl telling him to stop moaning about his situation as well as, "If you like her, call her.", which was not the expert advice he had hoped for, he decided to do just that.
"Might be better if you wait a bit though," the woman suggested.
"What? I thought you thought I should call her now?"
"Well, soon. Not now. You sound worked-up and that's definitely not attractive."
"Thanks for letting me know you find me repugnant. And such a subtle way of putting it," he huffed in mock-anger.
"You're welcome, Joe... Say have you been out with Dax yet? Wanna come with my boys and me? Might take your mind off this intriguing girl for a while. Get a clear head and stuff," she replied.
He agreed and half an hour later they and their dogs set out for a nice walk.
-
After Joe had taken Brenda to a nice (= very expensive) restaurant on Friday evening, she asked if she could see his home. A rockstar like himself had to live in a palace, she giggled.
"How about we start out by you showing me your favorite room?" the woman asked. Supposedly she thought Joe's favorite room would be his bedroom. And I regard it as my personal pleasure to inform her that, in fact, it was the-
"Game room. Here it is!" Joe spread his arms to indicate the sheer greatness of a huge room filled with two giant TV screens, uncountable gaming consoles and their respective games. (Pst, a good fourth of them were cheating modules.)
The woman let out a sound of appreciation, "Very impressive."
"You like computer games?"
Joe couldn't believe the luck of finding a female who shared his fanatism for the only real sport for people in the 21st century, the only sport that distinguished the half-assed hobby gamers who simply obsessed over Nintendogs (Hey! I take that personally!) from the ambitious and determined Kings of the Consoles: The one and only Digital Thumb Athletics, held several times a week at the Trohman residence. Every single time 'JoErLy' had climbed the rocky and dangerous path to the very top of every single highscore list.
When asked about the secret of his success in an interview on the very special occasion of the 250th time the DTAs were held, Joseph Trohman had replied that it took a strong will, not being scared of the risk of getting two sore thumbs and a lot of stamina. When further questioned if it helped at all that there was virtually no virtual competition (and both the interviewer and the interviewee had chuckled at this wording - which probably had to do with the fact that they were the same dorky person with short curly hair who used a Gameboy as a microphone) since he was the only one playing, Trohman had replied, "That's totally beside the point, Troy."
Sometimes even I can't grasp the geekiness of this character.*
Brenda nodded eagerly, "Totally."
"Awesome! Do you wanna play a game? What games do you like?" Joe's tongue almost tripped because of the speed it was moved.
"I like jump-and-run games," she answered.
"Oh," the man commented. "Girl games."
The woman giggled and then placed a hand on her hip, strutting her stuff, "In case that has gone unnoticed, Joseph: I am a girl."
"Right," he replied and decided to play along. "And one after my taste, if I may add."
Let's get this over with: They played games for a while, they made out on the couch of the game room for a while and then they had sex in Joe's bedroom. For a while.
___________________________
* Like with the dog stuff on here, and English, I have no idea what I'm talking about.
** Inspired by Casie's last review.
* Or my own, for that matter.
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