I feel wonderful. HELLO WORLD!!!!!!!!
I laughed as Patrick opened the door for me, the rusty bell above us rang out in a cheery manner and I inhaled the store smell.
"It's been like two years since we've been in here," Patrick nodded, walking in after me and looking around.
"This makes me feel old," I sighed.
"Tell me about it," I ran my fingertips across the sticker covered counter and frowned. "I wonder why they are demolishing it," Patrick shrugged and leaned against it.
"It's just gotten old," he paused. "I've got all the records I need from here though," I smiled and leaned my head against his arm.
"I'm kind of glad I'm settling in Chicago," Patrick nodded.
"I'm surprised things are winding down, well, for the time being," I rolled my eyes.
"More tours for you guys, but I've got my girls," he nodded.
"And Hemmingway, that dog freaking loves you," I laughed slightly.
"I know," Patrick pointed at my purse.
"I saw you sneak something out of Ryan's house, let's see it!" I laughed some more before opening my over sized purse and took out the bottle of Jack Daniels.
"Who loves a little bit of Jack?" Patrick beamed.
"Patrick does!" I laughed and jumped over the counter, finding our old drinking glasses under it.
"I wonder how old these things are," Patrick shrugged before blowing the dust off the old CD player and turning the intercom radio on.
"What the hell?" I asked.
"It's that new Black Eyed Peas song," I waited and laughed.
"I guess it is," Patrick wiggled his eyebrows and took the first sip before dancing for a moment.
"What cha gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside that trunk?" I laughed and shook my butt a bit.
"I'm gonna get, get, get you drunk, get you love drunk off my hump," Patrick and I both laughed before circling towards the back of the room where the piano was.
"You think it's still tuned?" I shrugged.
"I would assume so," I sat on the piano bench next to him, placing my drink on the top of it. "Why?" Patrick sighed.
"There's this song Pete wrote, but didn't push it to be put on this record," I frowned.
"Did you put music to it?" Patrick nodded.
"Behind his back, so all it is, is the piano," I raised an eyebrow.
"Fall Out Boy goes piano ballad?" Patrick nodded.
"You bet, maybe a long time from now we'll put it on a record," Patrick placed his hands on the keys and I watched for a moment.
"How cruel, is the golden rule?"
I believe that Pete was still in a dark place.
The lyrics of the song Patrick sang were still ringing in my ears, almost dreading listening to the new one out within the next few weeks. But I didn't want anything to get to me today. I mean, it was my birthday, Patrick's 21 and my 22. Funny thing was the guys thought it would be funny to get Patrick a stripper, even making Izzy go into a fit of hysterics.
When everything got back to normal in the VIP room of some random medium classed restaurant, we had all split up to dance on the small dance floor we had. I had returned to my wallflower ways and sat there, poking at my already cold food. My stomach growled and I knitted my eyebrows together, looking down at it.
"Shut up," I hissed.
"You still talk to your stomach?" I laughed for a moment as Andy took a seat in the chair next to me.
"Maybe," I mumbled, leaning back in my chair. "I'm kind of freaking, actually," Andy eyed me.
"Why?" he asked. I chewed on my bottom lip.
"I'm late," I whispered, looking across the room to find Pete talking to a rather freakishly tall person, who seemed to be skinnier than even I used to be as a teenager.
Andy shifted closer.
"You mean..." he trailed off and lowered his eyes towards my stomach. I covered it with one hand and shrugged.
"I don't know," I muttered, looking away again. "I honestly don't think I'm ready yet," Andy smiled.
"We can always ask Joe, he has this weird sixth sense," I felt a tapping on my shoulder and looked up to find the fro.
"Just so you know, I heard a bit of this conversation and I can tell you right now, you aint preggers with another Wentz," I laughed out before shaking my head.
"Thank you for the news Joe, you're like my own personal pregnancy test," Joe laughed nervously and Andy gulped, eyeing something behind me. I took a breath and closed my eyes as they left, another presence sitting down where Andy used to be.
"Ev," I smiled lightly, opening my eyes.
"Hi Pete," he looked calm.
"You...ah," he paused. "Want to explain all of that?" I laughed to myself.
"We were just joking around, I swear," He frowned.
"Are you sure?" I frowned with him.
"I'm kind of confused now," I whispered.
He pulled the chair closer and picked my hands up, so that all my attention was on him and not Ashley and Joe grinding on one of the tables*.
"Well," Pete cleared his throat and leaned closer to my ear. "I kind of got my hopes up for a second there," My heart slowed and I held my hand to my chest in a soft manner. I pulled back to find a very sheepish look on his face.
"Really?" I asked. Pete nodded.
"I know my parents are kind of being wishy washy about it all, but it's my life, and..." he gave me a loving smile. "I'd rather spend it with you," I heard a few hushed voices behind me, increasing my smile. Pete brushed his knuckles against my cheek and I turned my head to kiss his wrist.
"I'm down with that," He laughed before leaning a bit closer and kissing me.
"Awww, well you look at that," I pulled away and glanced up at the tall man. Pete laughed and placed an arm around my shoulders.
"William, this is Evie," he paused and looked at me. "My ever amazing /fiancÃ©/," I shivered.
That sounded so weird to me, still.
I shook hands with him once before clearing my throat.
"Um," I paused. "Not to be rude or anything, but..." I leaned towards Pete's ear. "Can we go home?" I asked. Pete eyed me as I pulled away. His eyes flickered with something and he gave my knee a squeeze.
"Sure thing," he stood up. "Let me just go take care of something, alright?" I nodded and stood up myself, walking over to where all my girls were standing.
"You are heading out?" Jenn asked. I flashed a small smile before nodding.
"Yeah, I kinda just want to go home," Izzy smiled knowingly.
"You want to have hot birthday secks, don't you?" I laughed for a moment, shrugging. Ashley nudged me.
"It's alright if you do," I rolled my eyes before looking at Izzy.
"What about Patrick?" I asked. "Doesn't he get some?" Izzy shrugged.
"Its different cuz he's a guy and it's his birthday," she smiled. "It's easier for a girl to pleasure a guy than it is a guy to pleasure a girl," An arm slithered around my waist and Jenn and Ashley raised their eyebrows.
"I don't think you have to listen to her," I shivered as Pete whispered in my ear, kissing my neck once. I hugged everyone goodbye before linking arms with him.
"You are such a tease," he laughed.
"On the contrary, darling," he paused. "You are the tease," I rolled my eyes.
"But it's my birthday," I whispered as we stepped outside.
"I almost forgot,"
Hemmingway was the only one awake as we snuck into his house, the clock over the stove flashing 2am.
"Oh lord," I whispered. "It's so late," Pete frowned.
"It's not your birthday anymore," I shrugged.
"Is that really going to stop me?" We laughed lightly and I let Hemmingway follow me up the stairs. The beds were separated again and I laughed lightly as Pete closed the door and locked it.
Well somebody was eager.
"So did you like tonight?" I placed my purse down on of the beds, shedding my coat as well. Pete copied me with his jacket.
"It was a lot of fun," I mumbled. "I only wish I could have gotten a stripper," Pete's face was priceless. "I'm just kidding," Pete laughed before loosening his tie. I sat on the other bed and yawned once.
"You're not tired are you?" he asked, walking towards the bathroom. I shook my head.
"I yawn a lot," he disappeared and I lied down as the shower started.
"I'll be out in a bit,"
I kicked my heels off, and massaged my feet for a moment, trying to remind myself to never wear them ever again. Hemmingway stared at me from the floor and I tilted my head slightly.
"What is it?" I asked softly.
He jumped up and ran towards a pile of clothing in the corner, going through it until I saw the shirt he pulled out. He brought it to me, it flung over his nose. I lifted it up and observed the worn out material.
It's been about a year since I wore this t-shirt.
"Thank you Hemmingway,"
I pet his head for a moment before sliding the dress off and placing the shirt over my head. My back was turned as I brought the sheets down, Hem circling around my feet happily. I looked down at him and smiled lightly before jumping as damp arms circled around my waist.
"I missed when you would wear this," I closed my eyes and turned around in his arms, smirking at his messy hair.
"Well thank your dog for finding for me," Pete looked down at him as he lay down on the floor.
"Thank you Hemmingway," he paused. "You must agree with the fact I need to get laid," I smacked his arm before laughing.
"Somebody's a little antsy,"
Pete smiled before kissing me and sitting me down near the pillows, climbing over and letting the towel around his waist slip some thigh. I laughed against his shoulder as he worked on my neck, his hands lowering to the hem of the t-shirt that danced around my thighs as well.
"You're having too much fun," I pulled back before giving him this look.
"Then slow it down," I whispered, leaning back up to kiss his cheek.
His eyes closed and I felt the mattress hit my back, Pete's hands bringing my t-shirt up, only five minutes after I had put it on. I opened my eyes again to find him leaned back on his knees, looking down at Hemmingway who was intently staring at us. I giggled to myself and watched as Pete sighed and climbed off the bed, walking kind of awkwardly towards his door and locking him out for the time being. I lied back and rested my head against the pillows, watching Pete come back and lye on his side next to me.
"He kind of killed the mood, didn't he?" I shrugged.
"Maybe he didn't," he raised an eyebrow and leaned over me.
"Really?" I shook my head and rested my hands on his shoulders.
"Well," I paused and sat us back up, both kneeling towards each other. Pete smiled and brushed his hand across my cheek.
"I'm going to miss you while on tour," I sighed and nodded.
"It's going to get really lonely here for the two and a half months," I whispered.
Pete kissed me again and brought me closer so that I was straddling his thighs. I felt his arousal and forced back a smile, wanting more to make love than just what Izzy called 'Birthday sex'. I found myself back to De JA Vu as things massively slowed down and all I could focus on was Pete's stern look in his eyes as he stayed quiet.
He was keeping something from me.
I lied back down and rested my hands on his arms as he just stared for a moment. He reached one hand down to push my legs apart, it shaking with a slight hidden nervousness. I gulped before looking over towards the night stand.
"Pete," I whispered. I looked up at my eyes as I eyed the assurance sitting there by the base of the lamp. He nodded and was about to reach out towards it before he sighed and closed his eyes, resting his hand back down.
"Can I ask you something?" he whispered.
I nodded once.
"Yeah," Pete leaned towards my ear for probably the fourth time tonight.
"Do you think that," he gulped. "We can try for a baby?"
I felt my heart skip a beat and my lungs contract.
Pete took a shaky breath and pulled away so he could stare me down. My stomach knotted up and I took my own deep breath before reaching out.
"Sorry," he whispered and copied me. I turned off the lamp and stopped his hand, bringing it back and placing it down so he could hold himself up. "Evie?" his breath hitched and I could see his eyes glazing over in the dark.
"Its ok, Pete," I whispered and brushed my fingers against his cheek, resting my hands a little higher around his neck.
Pete nodded and held his breath before gently pushing himself in. I closed my eyes very lightly and met his thrust finding him taking it slow. His hands were soft as he traced my sides, bringing them down to hold my waist and hip bones. I held tighter to his shoulders and grazed my lips against his ear as he rested his forehead on the pillow. Pete's breath fell heavy on my neck and I felt a drop of sweat fall onto my collarbone. He lifted his head away and the sweat turned into a tear drop falling from the corner of his eye.
Our foreheads met and I felt a shiver go up my spine as I read his eyes, finding this over powering feeling echoing out. It's like we didn't even have to say anything or murmur noises to let each other know we were /there/. I closed my eyes and felt his lips graze against mine as our hips collided softly once more, my chest rising and falling in hidden uneven breaths. Pete copied for a moment before pulling out and resting his body next to mine.
"I really hope," his voice sounded hoarse.
I lifted the blankets higher up my chest and turned my head to look at him. His arm moved to slide across my waist before he spread his fingers across my stomach.
"I know," I whispered.
Something inside my mind told me that maybe this time things would unravel on their own. I closed my eyes and let my breath out, finding it going back to normal. I felt safe for once in my life, and that even if I didn't have much left, I still had Pete and possibly the greatest future anyone can offer to share.
I guess he was right when he said he'd be saying it until the end of time.
*Just imagine that. haha. It made me laugh because that's what I was doing last night at my school dance. Oh nelly. Well, it as fun while it lasted. But they played MJ's Thriller. That means I had a total Dance, Dance moment. Kay.