What would you do if you were forced to choose between two promises--one to your country, and one to its people? Would you be brave enough--or coward enough--to kill the Queen you swore to protect?
(#) Live2Create 2007-02-28 07:29:43 AMVery well written. You can really feel the torment he feels between killing Almea and keeping his promise to protect her. In the end I believe he finds peace with the decision he makes. Just a few mistakes that I found:
1. Damascena stands and crossed the room...(it should be stands and crosses the room...)
2. The people's army if gathering in the square...(this sentence just didn't make sense to me)
3. ...the moment she looked up at her murder and knew it was me.(shouldn't it me murderer instead of murder)
Over all, great story. Keep up the good work.
(#) aks100 2007-03-04 06:50:56 AMThe story was good though nothing particularly out of the ordinary. I liked the way it was written though i'm not a particularly huge fan of present tense stories. They tend to throw me a bit.
I particularly liked the first part of it when the main character is talking to Damascena. I think that, more then the rest, showed the characters reluctance to carry out their orders. Sorry it's short and probably not very useful but my brain doesn't want to work or analyse at the moment. Also, i kinda got the impression that the main character was a man, as did my friend.