Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > I'm Not Okay (I promise)
Dorito fro, giant toads and vertigo
7 reviews"Hey, my name is Gerard Way. This isn't a story about me meeting a girl with a dark past that becomes the love of my life, or about me and Frank making out...well... not...fuck it, screw the fucki...
0Unrated
Okay...I'm Pumpkin and this is my first My Chem fanfic here :) I hope you enjoy it and please read it through and review. This is just the first chapter, and sorry if its too short. I kind of feel like this chapter might feel a bit dead, like nothing is happening, but really, it will pick up in the next chapter. Also disclaimer; this ain't what happened in real life blah-da-blah, does anyone give a fuck...I don't think so. Oh and I'm not very good at writing as someone else is narrating a story...so sorry if its inadequate to anyone's standards :p ok. Enjoy. Please... x x x
"Hey, my name is Gerard Way. This isn't a story about me meeting a girl with a dark past that becomes the love of my life, or about me and Frank making out...well... not...fuck it, screw the fucking summary."
"Gee, did I just hear you swear?"
"Sorry mom...I'm no good at summaries anyway. I'm Gerard Way. End of.
It's my high school graduation ceremony today and well...I just thought...why not film it? So...I was thinking every film needs an intro, right? Well I thought I'd introduce it, here, me talking...in my bedroom, when I thought graduation is the ceremony of the end of a student's life at school. The real story is what has already happened. Sure I've got the ending of the story to film today...but I need to start from the beginning. So here it goes;
New house, new town, new school. I thought making a new start would be easy peasy pumpkin peasy... pumpkin pie...mother-fuc-"
"Gerard Arthur Way, if I hear you swear in this house one more time!-"
"Sorry mom!...Sheesh.
Anyway. How wrong could I be?
I remember that on the morning before my first day at this High school I was actually in high spirits for once. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm usually totally depressed, but me and my kid-brother Mikey were actually looking forward to this. It was like the sort of stuff we watched on TV, the teens on those programmes all seemed to go to new schools and have run-ins with vampires or werewolves drools, or would become friends with really weird people and have days full of comedy.
Pft.
Well, I guess, that in the long run, our story wasn't so different. Scratch the run ins with vampires...and werewolves...god I want a werewolf.
So, there we were in the kitchen, me sat at the breakfast bar, drawing a cartoon monkey, while Mikey scooted around grabbing all the not-quite-empty boxes of cereals and mixing them together in his bowl. Once again I had taken all the colourful sweet bits out of the Lucky Charms and managed to evade the card-board tasting bits. He he.
Cindy Lauper played on the radio, and I sang along sub-consciously. I didn't know all the words, but I could sure hit each note with precision. I think I remember Mikey glancing at me as I sang, the shock in his eyes either from the horror that I was singing along to 'The Goonies are Good Enough' or perhaps due to the fact that I really hadn't sang in a long time. I really hadn't felt like it. Life back at our old school was hell. Maybe not as bad as the hell other kids had endured through their lives at school, but it was bad enough to make the Way family move.
"Gerard, your friend, Raymond said he'd call on you to catch the school bus together. He'll be here in 5 minutes, are you ready?" I looked at mum and nodded, carefully placing my sketch pad into my bag along with my pens. I really wanted some Sharpie or Letraset pens, but I didn't really have much money.
"Mikey, you all set?" I asked, looking at my younger brother. He was tall for his age, and lanky, but he'd be taller than me before I knew it. He was my baby brother and my best friend, a shadow I wanted to be followed by. We had our own interests, but we shared many all the same; Comic books and Fangoria, bands like Smashing Pumpkins and Iron Maiden. It was cool to have Mikey as a brother because I felt like we depended on each other a lot. We seemed to be different from most other kids and it was hard for me to fit in, so...its just cool to have him there.
Suddenly, Mikey and I looked up as we heard Yello's 'Oh Yeah' music move through the house from the hallway. Yeah. That 'Duff Man' music off the Simpsons. That was our doorbell jingle.
I looked at the silhouetted figure standing on the other side of the small glass pane in the front door. He appeared to be built quite strong, and looked at least an inch or two taller than me, but the tell-tale sign that it was Ray, was the silhouette of his 'fro. I wanted to touch it. Sometimes he let me if I gave him a comic or two.
"Ray's here!" I shouted up the stairs so that mom would hear. She came rushing down within seconds to bid Mikey and I a good farewell. I opened the door and greeted Ray with a shy smile. It'd be a while since I'd seen him last.
"'Sup, Mikey, Gee?" he asked and he and Mikey were suddenly performing the handshake they'd made up so long ago. I grinned, glad to see things were going how they should be.
"Now," mom started, turning me and Mikey to face her, "Are you sure everything is fine, Mikey are you all set? All ready?" Mikey nodded, then wiped away the peck on the cheek that mom planted. "Gee, are you going to be fine? You're okay?"
"Mom, I'm Okay- I promise!" I laughed as she hugged me. I was glad from her smile that she knew my answer was genuine for once.
"Okay then, I'll see you boys later."
To be honest I was glad to step out of the house. I kind of felt my nerves settle a bit as I stepped out into the fresh, morning air. We headed down the few steps in front of our small house and I glimpsed past the flower beds the window of my basement lair. It had somehow become my bedroom over the summer holidays. We'd only been there for four weeks, and I think I spent one night in what was meant to be my bedroom and then I decided that the basement was more me. Mikey didn't mind because I let him in whenever he wanted.
The bright yellow bus arrived in next to no time and I felt my stomach twist again. I could see that Mikey was in exactly the same state, behind his glasses those young yet authentic and wizened eyes were clouded with nerves. We stepped up, one after the other, following Ray.
"Dude-Look at that 'fro!" a kid at the front of the bus called out, elbowing his
co-hort and pointing at Ray.
"Duuuude."
Ray just laughed and we followed him along the bus, looking for preferably three empty seats together.
As we edged along past everybody, I could feel their faces turn up to me and Mikey. I could feel their eyes on my back and it burned and I felt my stomach clench. "New kids" someone whispered. I was so god-damn nervous. "New kids." All around kids whispered. I just wanted to go un-noticed.
Yet I wanted to be noticed. I guess when it comes to attention, I'm like; 'Hey, I'm the guy with black hair sitting in the corner by himself, pay me some attention.' Then if everyone looks at me at once its; 'okay, too much attention...GO AWAY!'
Gahhh.
I tucked a strand of black hair behind one ear, and kept my eyes above the heads of the other kids.
"Hey, guys, lets just sit here." Ray said, pulling us down in the two seats in front of him. He was sat next to some kid with braces in the row one from the back. I knew exactly the type that sat in the back. The jocks.
I turned to Ray, about to ask him something, when something flew into his hair. I picked it out and Mikey turned around to look. He took the orange triangle from my fingers and ate it.
"Mmm, ray you have cheesy Doritos in your hair." Mikey chirped, foraging for more. Ray cursed the bastards sat behind him. I scowled at them and they responded with a low chorus of "Oooooh..." then broke into laughter. Dickwads.
As soon as we got off the bus I felt better. There were more people. Way more people, and back then I always felt safer in numbers. I was less noticed. Good thing. Sort of. Anyway, Ray took us to the principle's office for us to meet him. I didn't want to see Ray leave. I felt safer with him. Even if those idiots did throw corn chips in his 'fro.
The principle reminded me of a giant frog for some reason. He was clinically obese in a way I'd never seen before, he had a wide mouth that almost split his face in two, fish lips, warts on his balding head, protruding eyes and a suspiciously large tongue.
He wasn't sat at his desk so much as hunched over it, both his hands splayed out before him as he leant. I had to double check that they weren't webbed.
"So," He had a speech impediment, pronouncing his 's' as 'sh'. "You're the Way brothers then, eh?"
"Yes we are sir,"
"None other sir,"
Me and Mikey shared a look. Laughter and obnoxiousness leapt in a telepathic spark between us. If we played our cards right, and two Ways are better than one, we'd be in the principle's good books from the start. Sure, it'd be cool to play the rebel in the school, but me and Mikey just wanted to make friends more than anything.
"Excellent, I'm Principle Waternause, as I'm already sure you know. Well, what can I say? Welcome to your new High school. I hope you enjoy your time here." He gave us a smile with that huge mouth. I was worried we'd get swallowed up it was so fucking big.
He led us to our tutor rooms, the places where we'd go for register each morning. I hated the fact that I wouldn't see Mikey until break time, but we'd agreed to meet at my locker, 203, where ever the fuck that was. Ray was in my tutor group so I was ok, I just felt sorry for Mikey, he's two years below me.
Before he slipped into his class room with Mr Waternause I held him back, gripping his shoulder.
"Mikey, have you got your inhaler?" I asked, concern flickering in my then brown eyes. Mikey scoffed and punched me in the stomach. I think it was meant to be a gentle punch. I think. As I said, Mikey was big for his age, and despite his weedy appearance, he could hit hard. Ish.
I waited for Mr Waternause to reappear and no less than two minutes later he was briskly walking with me at his side like some toy poodle down to room 16. I bit my nails, a habit I had sworn to give up. No such luck.
At least Ray would be there...
"Ah, Mrs Vertigoski, I have Gerard Way here, a new student for you to tame." Waternause and Vertigoski shared a chuckle, although I don't think she honestly found it amusing. I didn't fucking dare look at the students in the class. I could hear them whisper random words and sentences; 'New kid', 'Came with a dork', 'Came with Fluff 'Fro,' 'Is he a goth?', 'I wana kick his fucking ass', 'Doritos?'
"Ok Gerard," Waternause began, "I hope to see good things come of you, you seem like a nice kid. I'll see you around, and look out for your brother."
"Or he'll end up in the lockers."
"Like Franko Baggins."
Ha-bloody-ha. Losers. I wouldn't let any shit happen to Mikey.
Vertigoski had me sit at a desk next to a blond girl who I could instantly tell was a cheerleader. She shifted her chair as far away from me as possible.
"Yeah, hi to you too." I nodded curtly, letting the sarcasm ring out. Her mouth gaped at me but she didn't say a thing. Preppy bitch.
"Register," the teacher called.
I was kind of out of it as the teacher called the names, I didn't really have a good impression of anyone in here yet at all. There was some commotion again over some kid called Frank as a group of boys shouted about hobbits and lockers. This place was fucking weird. I couldn't help but grin. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad...they like hobbits :)
"Hey, my name is Gerard Way. This isn't a story about me meeting a girl with a dark past that becomes the love of my life, or about me and Frank making out...well... not...fuck it, screw the fucking summary."
"Gee, did I just hear you swear?"
"Sorry mom...I'm no good at summaries anyway. I'm Gerard Way. End of.
It's my high school graduation ceremony today and well...I just thought...why not film it? So...I was thinking every film needs an intro, right? Well I thought I'd introduce it, here, me talking...in my bedroom, when I thought graduation is the ceremony of the end of a student's life at school. The real story is what has already happened. Sure I've got the ending of the story to film today...but I need to start from the beginning. So here it goes;
New house, new town, new school. I thought making a new start would be easy peasy pumpkin peasy... pumpkin pie...mother-fuc-"
"Gerard Arthur Way, if I hear you swear in this house one more time!-"
"Sorry mom!...Sheesh.
Anyway. How wrong could I be?
I remember that on the morning before my first day at this High school I was actually in high spirits for once. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm usually totally depressed, but me and my kid-brother Mikey were actually looking forward to this. It was like the sort of stuff we watched on TV, the teens on those programmes all seemed to go to new schools and have run-ins with vampires or werewolves drools, or would become friends with really weird people and have days full of comedy.
Pft.
Well, I guess, that in the long run, our story wasn't so different. Scratch the run ins with vampires...and werewolves...god I want a werewolf.
So, there we were in the kitchen, me sat at the breakfast bar, drawing a cartoon monkey, while Mikey scooted around grabbing all the not-quite-empty boxes of cereals and mixing them together in his bowl. Once again I had taken all the colourful sweet bits out of the Lucky Charms and managed to evade the card-board tasting bits. He he.
Cindy Lauper played on the radio, and I sang along sub-consciously. I didn't know all the words, but I could sure hit each note with precision. I think I remember Mikey glancing at me as I sang, the shock in his eyes either from the horror that I was singing along to 'The Goonies are Good Enough' or perhaps due to the fact that I really hadn't sang in a long time. I really hadn't felt like it. Life back at our old school was hell. Maybe not as bad as the hell other kids had endured through their lives at school, but it was bad enough to make the Way family move.
"Gerard, your friend, Raymond said he'd call on you to catch the school bus together. He'll be here in 5 minutes, are you ready?" I looked at mum and nodded, carefully placing my sketch pad into my bag along with my pens. I really wanted some Sharpie or Letraset pens, but I didn't really have much money.
"Mikey, you all set?" I asked, looking at my younger brother. He was tall for his age, and lanky, but he'd be taller than me before I knew it. He was my baby brother and my best friend, a shadow I wanted to be followed by. We had our own interests, but we shared many all the same; Comic books and Fangoria, bands like Smashing Pumpkins and Iron Maiden. It was cool to have Mikey as a brother because I felt like we depended on each other a lot. We seemed to be different from most other kids and it was hard for me to fit in, so...its just cool to have him there.
Suddenly, Mikey and I looked up as we heard Yello's 'Oh Yeah' music move through the house from the hallway. Yeah. That 'Duff Man' music off the Simpsons. That was our doorbell jingle.
I looked at the silhouetted figure standing on the other side of the small glass pane in the front door. He appeared to be built quite strong, and looked at least an inch or two taller than me, but the tell-tale sign that it was Ray, was the silhouette of his 'fro. I wanted to touch it. Sometimes he let me if I gave him a comic or two.
"Ray's here!" I shouted up the stairs so that mom would hear. She came rushing down within seconds to bid Mikey and I a good farewell. I opened the door and greeted Ray with a shy smile. It'd be a while since I'd seen him last.
"'Sup, Mikey, Gee?" he asked and he and Mikey were suddenly performing the handshake they'd made up so long ago. I grinned, glad to see things were going how they should be.
"Now," mom started, turning me and Mikey to face her, "Are you sure everything is fine, Mikey are you all set? All ready?" Mikey nodded, then wiped away the peck on the cheek that mom planted. "Gee, are you going to be fine? You're okay?"
"Mom, I'm Okay- I promise!" I laughed as she hugged me. I was glad from her smile that she knew my answer was genuine for once.
"Okay then, I'll see you boys later."
To be honest I was glad to step out of the house. I kind of felt my nerves settle a bit as I stepped out into the fresh, morning air. We headed down the few steps in front of our small house and I glimpsed past the flower beds the window of my basement lair. It had somehow become my bedroom over the summer holidays. We'd only been there for four weeks, and I think I spent one night in what was meant to be my bedroom and then I decided that the basement was more me. Mikey didn't mind because I let him in whenever he wanted.
The bright yellow bus arrived in next to no time and I felt my stomach twist again. I could see that Mikey was in exactly the same state, behind his glasses those young yet authentic and wizened eyes were clouded with nerves. We stepped up, one after the other, following Ray.
"Dude-Look at that 'fro!" a kid at the front of the bus called out, elbowing his
co-hort and pointing at Ray.
"Duuuude."
Ray just laughed and we followed him along the bus, looking for preferably three empty seats together.
As we edged along past everybody, I could feel their faces turn up to me and Mikey. I could feel their eyes on my back and it burned and I felt my stomach clench. "New kids" someone whispered. I was so god-damn nervous. "New kids." All around kids whispered. I just wanted to go un-noticed.
Yet I wanted to be noticed. I guess when it comes to attention, I'm like; 'Hey, I'm the guy with black hair sitting in the corner by himself, pay me some attention.' Then if everyone looks at me at once its; 'okay, too much attention...GO AWAY!'
Gahhh.
I tucked a strand of black hair behind one ear, and kept my eyes above the heads of the other kids.
"Hey, guys, lets just sit here." Ray said, pulling us down in the two seats in front of him. He was sat next to some kid with braces in the row one from the back. I knew exactly the type that sat in the back. The jocks.
I turned to Ray, about to ask him something, when something flew into his hair. I picked it out and Mikey turned around to look. He took the orange triangle from my fingers and ate it.
"Mmm, ray you have cheesy Doritos in your hair." Mikey chirped, foraging for more. Ray cursed the bastards sat behind him. I scowled at them and they responded with a low chorus of "Oooooh..." then broke into laughter. Dickwads.
As soon as we got off the bus I felt better. There were more people. Way more people, and back then I always felt safer in numbers. I was less noticed. Good thing. Sort of. Anyway, Ray took us to the principle's office for us to meet him. I didn't want to see Ray leave. I felt safer with him. Even if those idiots did throw corn chips in his 'fro.
The principle reminded me of a giant frog for some reason. He was clinically obese in a way I'd never seen before, he had a wide mouth that almost split his face in two, fish lips, warts on his balding head, protruding eyes and a suspiciously large tongue.
He wasn't sat at his desk so much as hunched over it, both his hands splayed out before him as he leant. I had to double check that they weren't webbed.
"So," He had a speech impediment, pronouncing his 's' as 'sh'. "You're the Way brothers then, eh?"
"Yes we are sir,"
"None other sir,"
Me and Mikey shared a look. Laughter and obnoxiousness leapt in a telepathic spark between us. If we played our cards right, and two Ways are better than one, we'd be in the principle's good books from the start. Sure, it'd be cool to play the rebel in the school, but me and Mikey just wanted to make friends more than anything.
"Excellent, I'm Principle Waternause, as I'm already sure you know. Well, what can I say? Welcome to your new High school. I hope you enjoy your time here." He gave us a smile with that huge mouth. I was worried we'd get swallowed up it was so fucking big.
He led us to our tutor rooms, the places where we'd go for register each morning. I hated the fact that I wouldn't see Mikey until break time, but we'd agreed to meet at my locker, 203, where ever the fuck that was. Ray was in my tutor group so I was ok, I just felt sorry for Mikey, he's two years below me.
Before he slipped into his class room with Mr Waternause I held him back, gripping his shoulder.
"Mikey, have you got your inhaler?" I asked, concern flickering in my then brown eyes. Mikey scoffed and punched me in the stomach. I think it was meant to be a gentle punch. I think. As I said, Mikey was big for his age, and despite his weedy appearance, he could hit hard. Ish.
I waited for Mr Waternause to reappear and no less than two minutes later he was briskly walking with me at his side like some toy poodle down to room 16. I bit my nails, a habit I had sworn to give up. No such luck.
At least Ray would be there...
"Ah, Mrs Vertigoski, I have Gerard Way here, a new student for you to tame." Waternause and Vertigoski shared a chuckle, although I don't think she honestly found it amusing. I didn't fucking dare look at the students in the class. I could hear them whisper random words and sentences; 'New kid', 'Came with a dork', 'Came with Fluff 'Fro,' 'Is he a goth?', 'I wana kick his fucking ass', 'Doritos?'
"Ok Gerard," Waternause began, "I hope to see good things come of you, you seem like a nice kid. I'll see you around, and look out for your brother."
"Or he'll end up in the lockers."
"Like Franko Baggins."
Ha-bloody-ha. Losers. I wouldn't let any shit happen to Mikey.
Vertigoski had me sit at a desk next to a blond girl who I could instantly tell was a cheerleader. She shifted her chair as far away from me as possible.
"Yeah, hi to you too." I nodded curtly, letting the sarcasm ring out. Her mouth gaped at me but she didn't say a thing. Preppy bitch.
"Register," the teacher called.
I was kind of out of it as the teacher called the names, I didn't really have a good impression of anyone in here yet at all. There was some commotion again over some kid called Frank as a group of boys shouted about hobbits and lockers. This place was fucking weird. I couldn't help but grin. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad...they like hobbits :)
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