- "The treadmill was broken" is an interesting metaphor for the constant cycle of Sin. I also like the idea of disbanded militia demanding money to protect travellers from bandits. It is ironic and a little scary both.
I like that "nearly circular man," but wouldn't "spherical" be more accurate? I also like "narrow as a string." You have an ability to constantly create fresh metaphors that revitalizes your stories. In this zsection you have a small typo "Omri" instead of "Ormi." I like the banter between Ormi and Logos. It's quite well-written.
Nooj's thoughts about LeBlanc and her decorative skills are amusing and excellent.
This is perhaps the first time I have been able to truly feel sorry for Nooj, in that he believes Paine must be dead because she has not contacted him. And why hasn't she? Perhaps she is afraid of him because he shot at her. Nooj's reaction to his playing of a single sentence on the recorder seems very realistic to me. I ahve never understood the therapist's desire to dredge up buried memories. It seems to me that a loss of memory is a natural defence of the brain, just like a scab grown over a wound, another excellent metaphor as is the idea of providing fortune with hostages.
That last line is also very well written, if always as puzzling as anything about Nooj must be. I'm glad that Nooj doesn't think at this time that Paine has possibly betrayed him by not contacting him again, but is only overjoyed that she is alive. It seems like such a selfless joy for him to have. This is a very nice epilogue to the main story.
Author\'s Response: Nooj does not concern himself with why Paine has not contacted him. I, as the omniscient writer, have some ideas but they are not appropriate in this story which is his. The Meyvn feels he deserves her disdain; his guilt for the events at the Travel Agency is still fresh and strong. In my understanding of him, he is not one to try to shift blame from his own shoulders but rather one who bears responsibility, even if it is not properly his. He loved Paine very much, so much he was willing to live to stay with her. For him that was quite a sacrifice. He will try to find her, while at the same time doing his duty to the Youth League. The woman who wrote the Paine section of the Quartet and I are considering a further collaboration.As to the henchmen, the adjectives were chosen to emphasize the two-dimensionality of their characters. LOL
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