She's falling. Falling so deep. And there isn't anything she can do about it.
The doctor turned to Kerry (Mrs Matthews) and shook his head gravely.
"Influenza," he said grimly. "Plenty of bed rest. About two weeks. I can try Tamiflu but I doubt that it will work. The virus has spread through out her body. She should be able to fight it off. She's young and healthy."
Her mother bit her lip and nodded. "Okay. Thanks for coming." He picked up his bag and took one last glance at the still sleeping Willow. "My pleasure."
Jenny was in her room once more. She'd IM'd Jay to tell him why she couldn't see him tonight. He'd understood. Thankfully. She sat scribbling away in her notebook, pictures appearing. Sketch type. Pictures of people dying, lying in coffins. She'd done a group of five coffins, paying particular attention to the people inside. Four men and one woman. She'd scrawled names underneath each coffin, telling you who they were if you couldn't guess from the drawings. Bob, Mikey, Willow, Ray and Gerard. No Frank. Frank she liked. Frank she could talk to. Frank was cool. But Gerard would deserve it for accusing her sister, for sending Jenny's world reeling. Bob had stuck up for him. Willow for leaving her phone, letting Jenny answer it and hear Gerard's lies. Mikey, for being part of the accusation and Ray, for symmetry. 2 men, a woman, 2 men. Ray evened it out.
She smiled to herself. At least she felt better now. All the hate, all the malice that she'd felt was there on the page. And even though it was probably the best picture she'd ever drawn, she ripped it up. Into millions of tiny little pieces. They scattered onto her floor and she laughed. She didn't want to hate them. And drawing gave her a release. Made her hate things a little less.
Just a little.
"It's not...I didn't." Willow was talking in her sleep, her voice full of pain, sadness and hurt. "Please...don't leave...I didn't."
There was no-one to witness this scene. A woman looking lost in her sleep, pleading with someone not to leave, because she hadn't done something. But the problem was what they were accusing her of, she had done. And had regretted it for the rest of her life.
"It's weird," Frank commented. "She's not answering her phone."
"Who?" Bob asked, looking interested.
"Willow," was the reply. "Neither's Jenny for that matter. Answering Willow's phone that is." At the mention of Jenny's name, Bob found the floor very interesting.
"What?" Frank asked.
"Nothing," Bob muttered, Jenny's last words to him (fuck you) ringing in his ears. Frank frowned at him but didn't pester him, which was unusual. Obviously he wasn't hyper. So very not hyper. So very not Frank like. Maybe he was worried about Willow. Or maybe he wondered what Bob was hiding.
She suddenly sat up, her breathing heavy, her eyes shooting open. Willow sat staring into space, reliving her nightmare. The plaintive ring of the phone, her inability to move. The knowledge of who was phoning. Her yearning to answer. And still her inability to answer.
It took her a while to realise that her phone actually was ringing. Ringing it's little polyphonic heart out. She reached for it. Gerard. That was weird. He hardly ever phoned.
"Hey," she said quietly.
"Hey, er, Will? Has Jenny said anything?" He sounded edgy and nervous.
"No. What about?" Willow asked, feeling really drained. Hey, maybe the whole MCR are vampires rumour was true and they were sucking the life out of her via the phone. Yeah, and Jenny wears head to toe pink every day.
"Nothing," he said quickly. "We just talked." She immediately picked up on the fact that he was hiding something.
"About what?" she asked suspiciously. "What did you say?"
"Will, what the fuck are you trying to do to my brother?" he asked, his voice hardening.
"Mikey?" she asked, genuinely surprised. "Nothing. Is that what you said to Jen?"
"Because he's engaged," Gerard continued to bluster.
"Gerard. I'm not doing anything to Mikey. We just talk. Like friends. Like I do to Frank and Ray. And you and Bob when you phone," she told him.
"Good," he snapped, before ending the call. Willow was left holding the mobile trying to understand what had gone in. She lay back down. Her and Mikey? Pfft. What was with every body? At least no-one had picked up on her feelings for one of the others.
And as she fell asleep, his face was in her mind.
An: And I thought I couldn't write MCR fanfic whilst listening to MCR. Drop me a review to let me know what you think.