Ino is really a closet matchmaker. Beware all those who catch her attention... [one shot]
Naruto not mine, etcetera and so on.
Request - Asuma/Everyone, "PMS"
Ino waved one of the flowers she was arranging in Shikamaru's direction. "She's the kunoichi instructor."
"Oh. I dunno, I've never met her. Why not?"
She made a note with her free hand. "Iruka-sensei?"
Chouji started coughing on his chips. Shikamaru slapped him on the back.
"/Iruka//-sensei/?" the fat (AHEM. CHUBBY.) boy asked when he caught his breath.
"What? They're both boring enough, and Iruka is rather girly, and - "
"Okay," Shikamaru interrupted. Why did he have to play intermediary in a conversation like /this/? "Mark him down, too, what the hell."
She made another note with a flourish.
They paused and took a moment to collectively shudder.
"That's a given," the boys said in wry unison. Ino marked that name down, too.
"What about Gai?" Chouji suggested. He looked a little faint at the thought.
The other two just stared at him. He looked away gratefully and went back to his chips.
"Who else, Shikamaru?" Ino asked.
He sighed. This was such an undignified topic to get dragged into. "What about Kakashi?"
Chouji made a gagging noise but managed not to start coughing again. Ino opened her mouth, closed it, and tapped her pen on her chin thoughtfully.
"You know," she said, "that's really hot. I never knew you were such a pervert, Shikamaru."
Shikamaru colored. Chouji smirked. Ino made another note with a sparkle in her eyes that indicated her impure thoughts.
Chouji cleared his throat. "Since we're on the topic," he said, "what about Temari?"
"Are you kidding?" Shikamaru asked. "She'd kill him if he didn't stop smoking, and you know how well that suggestion would go over."
"Well, what about Ino?"
Ino stared. "What?"
Shikamaru nodded thoughtfully. "Disregarding the fact of pedophilia, that probably runs second place to Kurenai."
"And you know," Chouji added, "it's always been so obvious the way she stares at him during training."
"The whining would have to go, of course," Shikamaru agreed. "It's unattractive."
"Admit it," Shikamaru said with a smirk. "You've got the hots for Asuma, just like everyone els-" *
* It should be noted that these events caused Team Ten to be thirty-five minutes late to their training. Ino was too busy trying to find out how long it would take to kill her team mates with a rose switch to pay attention to the time. Her excuse was PMS.