Desiree has a huge fight with her grandmother. She storms and leaves without knowning where she will end up. The question is where will she go && who will she end up meeting?
I had fallen asleep for three hours. When I awoke, I went out into the living room and saw my grandmother in her rocking chair. "So, did you call?" She just shook her head yes. "Whatever, I know I am fucking failure and a loser. Just forget about me. I am leaving." So I grabbed my purse, keys, and cigarettes and stormed out of the door. I unlocked my car doorand got in it. I put the key in ignition but that's as far as I went. I put my head down on the steering wheel. I had lost. I always lose. The tears came pouring out my eyes. I started the car and sped past my house. "Goodbye forever" were my thoughts. I drove around for hours trying to figure out where I was going. Finally my car ran out of gas so I pulled to the side of the road and turned the car off. I got out and didn't even care enough to lock my car doors. That was the least of my problems. I started walking on the side of the road not caring if a car would swerve and hit me. To me, that would be marvelous. It would end the misery.
I walked for about a mile and it began to rain. No, it began to pour. I was soaking wet, cold, and depressed. It was something that I was used to because it's how I felt inside. Just over the hill, I saw a bar. I walked to it so that I could go inside and try to stay warm for at least a little while. As I walked in the door, everyone turned and stared. "Yes, I know. I am a depressed girl with her hood on so that no one can really see me." I walked past everyone that was
sitting at the actual bar and sat down in the far back. There was a small local band playing in front of me and their music was absolutely incredible. I looked at the stage and saw five guys just having the time of their life. They were doing something they actually enjoyed and you could tell they loved every second of it. "Thank you so much guys for listening to our performance. We are going to take an hour break and after that we will perform some more for you!" the mysterious singer had announced. The five guys put down all of their equipment, walked off stage, and walked towards where I was sitting. I turned away, trying not to make eye contact. The band decided to sit in front of me. I was trying not to make myself visible so I stared out the window. The guys ordered some food and drinks to go around and began to talk about some music business. I was listening because I became more and more interested in their life. "They have it perfect." Was all I could think to myself, "they are actually going for something that they are not sure will happen because they love performing." Just as I looked up, I saw the singer get up and walk towards me. I quickly looked down. He took a seat on the other side of the booth and just sat there for a moment. When I looked up again, I couldn't help but notice what gorgeous eyes he had. "Hi, I'm Gerard and you are....?" "No one special" was all I could say. "Well, that's not true. Don't say that about yourself. C'mon give me your name. It doesn't even have to be your real name, I just want to be able to call you by something besides saying 'that girl'." I glanced down and mumbled "I'm Desiree." He held out his hand and smiled. "Well, it's nice to meet you Desiree." I shook his hand and gave him half a smile. "Aw, what's wrong? Are you not feeling well? I mean, I wouldn't if I were drenched from the rain in this kind of weather." I shook my head. "I am just having a bad day, that's all. My car broke down about a mile from here so I had to walk." "Damn, that sucks. I am sorry that happened. Hey listen, why don't you take off your hoodie and put mine on. That will keep you warm" he said as he handedme the piece of clothing. "Thanks." I got up to walk towards the bathroom to change out of my wet shirts. "Oh and Desiree, when you come back come and sit with me and my friends and have something to eat. It's on me." I smiled and walked away as Gerard went back to the table with his friends. I changed out of my wet shirt and hoodie and threw them on the ground. I stared at myself in the mirror. "Don't even get excited", I told myself, "you do not have a chance with him." Saddened by my thoughts, I put on the hoodie I was given. All I could smell was his scent and I did not want to give that up. It was something I was going to treasure forever.
Just as I walked out of the bathroom, the drummer of the band ran past me. "EXCUSE ME! NATURE CALLS!" He yelled. I just laughed to myself as his friends were laughing at him running through the hallway and screaming. I walked towards the table of the four other guys and Gerard patted the empty spot next to him. "Sit down. I promise I won't bite, unless you want me to." He winked at me. So I sat down next to him and his friend came out of the bathroom. "Well damn, I didn't know I was going to get kicked out of my seat. Thanks a lot Gerard." "Oh Bob, shut up. Grab a damn chair at that table and sit the hell down." They both were laughing. "Okay, okay. I will. By the way, I was just kidding. I don't give. I sit down the whole time we perform so my ass is numb!" I smiled at him. As I was sitting there, introductions were going around. I shook hands and then introduced myself. "So do you want something to eat or drink?" Frank asked. "Uh, sure I guess." "So what would you like?" "I guess I'll just have some cheese fries with water." "Are you sure that's all you want?" Gerard asked. "Yeah, I'm not that hungry." "All right," said Frank, "I'll go and put your order in with ours." He got up and walked towards one of the workers to let them know. "Thanks" I called after him. "No problem!" So I sat there. I didn't know what to say or do. Yes, I am a shy person, especially when I am surrounded by five beautiful guys. Ray finally broke the silence that was surrounding me. "So what brings you here?" "Oh, my car ran out of gas so I had to walk to get somewhere and this was the closest place I could find." "Well I am glad you came here and decided to get out of that horrible weather, even though it means your stuck listening to us perform." Ray laughed. "Oh c'mon Ray, we're not that bad." Mikey finally spoke up "Sure we aren't. What do you think about our music?" The question was directed towards me of course. "From what I heard, you guys are pretty good. I really can't wait to hear some more." "Oh you're just saying that." They all said. "No, honestly, I love it." Frank came back to the table with my water. "Here you go. Can I get you anything else?" "No, I'm fine really." "Well, just let one of us know if you want something more than just water and cheese fries." Gerard said. "Okay." The band began to talk about their performances and what they should be working on. I just sat there quietly not knowing what to say. I am a stranger to them. I sat there and listened to them as they critiqued themselves. About 10 minutes later, our food was brought to us. Everyone ate quickly, besides me, because it was almost time to go back on the stage. I picked at my food and kept my head down. "Hey Desiree, why don't you take that hood off. You're covering your beautiful face." Gerard said. "Oh, no I am not." "Don't argue with me, I know when I see a pretty girl." I blushed. Gerard grabbed the hood and pulled it down. "That's better. You have such a great profile." "Thanks" I said quietly. "Well," Mikey said, "It's about time we go back up there." "Yeah, I guess. I just can't wait for my ass to get numb again." Bob said sarcastically. We all laughed. The guys got up and walked towards the stage besides Gerard. He stood up and said, "Let's go, you're sitting up front where you can see us better." He grabbed my hand and led me to a better seat. "Now sit back, let your worries go away, and enjoy the music." I did what I was told. As they all walked up on stage and got prepared, I sighed to myself. "Too bad I won't be around much longer. No matter what, I know that I will never be the person that I want to be."
Gerard announced themselves, "We are My Chemical Romance and this song is called "Cancer". He then looked at me as the music started and smiled. I felt this warm feeling inside that I have never felt before. As Gerard began to sang, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see that an older man that was about 50 years old was breathing down my neck. I could smell the alcohol in his breath. "Hey pretty girl, why don't you come over and sit with me now." I politely shook my head no. "Sorry, I am going to be leaving shortly. I am just waiting for a ride." I lied. I had no where to go and no one knew where I was. As I turned around, the man grabbed my shoulder tightly and forced me to turn around. "I said, come and sit with me. You don't need to be hanging around a bunch of untalented musicians that have no money. You need a real man." I stiffened, I had no idea what to do. Gerard saw the fright in my eyes and we quickly glanced at each other. He then threw his microphone down and the rest of the guys stopped playing. "Lay your hand off of her right now." Gerard yelled at the top of his lungs. The man stepped back and glared at Gerard and then glanced at the other guys. "You can't tell me what to do. She's no property of yours. She is mine now." The man had such a dangerous tone to his voice. I quickly jumped up and ran to the back of the bar. "The hell she is and you're right, she doesn't belong to me. She doesn't belong to anyone but herself now back the fuck off." The man stepped closer to Gerard and you could see the anger in both of their eyes. "I suggest you lame ass musician that you back off and mind your own business and go back to playing your damn songs." Gerard had had enough. He threw the first punch. I screamed. Frank, Mikey, and Ray jumped off stage to grab ahold of Gerard as Bob went after the strange man that tried to throw punches at the other four. I sat down and put my head down between my knees, scared of what was going to happen next. I began to cry. The owner of the bar came up front and separated everyone, trying to figure out what was going on. Frank calmly said, "This asshole tried to take advantage of the girl that is with us." They all turned and looked at me. I sat in the booth like I were a statute. "Yeah and then he walked up to me as if he were going to hit me first so I just decided to begin and end the fight." Gerard said as he took a deep breath. The owner pulled the stranger aside and started to talk to him with an angry voice. About 5 minutes later, the owner came back over and apologized to the guys. "I am sorry about that. My brother is not all there, especially when he is drunk. I am going to take him home right now. If I were you though, I would go and check on the young lady." They all nodded. "Hey you guys go clean up our equipment. I am calling it a night." Gerard said. "I am going to go check up on Desiree." The other four went on stage and packed everything while Gerard came to see if I were okay. He sat next to me and held me close. "Hey there. It's all right now. I took care of everything. I was not going to let him hurt you." I began to cry. I had never felt so loved or wanted in such a long time. "Why are you crying?" Gerard asked as he wiped my tears. "I - I don't know how I will ever thank you." I strained to say that because I was crying so hard from being scared and being happy at the same time. Gerard lifted my head up, gazed into my eyes and smiled. Right then and there I knew that I had feelings for him even the same way. "All he wants is to be your friend, he does not want you like that all. Give it up." Were my thoughts. I sighed and looked out the window. Gerard tugged me towards him a little more. "I know that I don't know you that well, but I would love to be with you some more. That will also give us a chance to get to know each other a little more." My heart stopped. I could not believe these words were coming out of his mouth. "Am I being too straight-forward?" he asked with a concerned tone. "No, no. I am just in shock." I replied. Gerard smiled. "I am too, but in a good way. So what do you say that me and you go somewhere where we can talk in private." I smiled and nodded my head. I then layed my head on his shoulder and knew that every thing from this point on would be the time of my life.
Frank was the first to walk back. He noticed how close Gerard and I was getting and he just smiled to himself. "Good, he needs someone in his life to make him feel better about himself." Gerard noticed Frank first and then I did. Gerard called him back. "Hey, what are you guys up to?" he asked. "Oh nothing really. I just got done packing up my equipment and the rest of the guys are helping Bob load up the drum set in the van." Ray came walking up to where the three of us were sitting. "Man, I'm beat." You could tell how tired Ray was. He was not looking too good either. His face was pale and his eyes were heavy. "Uh, Ray, is it? Are you feeling okay?" I asked. He shrugged. "I guess I could feeling better than I really do." "Well, I think we all better head on home or something." Frank suggested. "You guys go ahead, I am going to take the car and you guys take the van." Gerard said. Ray and Frank looked at Gerard suspiciously. "All right, well, be careful and I'll see you later." Frank said. "I will and take care of yourself Ray. You really don't look too good." "YES DADDY" was Ray's smart ass reply. We all laughed. As soon as Bob and Mikey joined is in the back, we said our goodbyes and then it was just me and Gerard. I couldn't be any more excited and happy, but I did not want to let it show. I was scared I would frighten him away. So I sat at the table unsure of what to do. I had no idea on what was going to happen next. "Wow, could this be happening?" I thought to myself. Of course my next thought had to ruin my spirits. "Nah, he's just telling his friends he is going to hang out with me and then drop me off in the middle of nowhere and enjoy his life." Needless to say, I was wrong.
Gerard turned to face me. I couldn't help but blush because I knew that a beautiful guy was staring at me and I could not contain myself. He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the booth. "Come on, we're going to the mall." "Why the mall?" I asked. "Because you need to change into clean clothes and we're going to just hang out for a bit." I smiled. "Or is that not okay with you?" He had a sad look on his face when he asked that. "No, no. It's perfectly fine. I have nowhere to go. Literally." "What makes you say that?" "Well, even though I am 18 years old, I still ran away from home. I am just having so many problems and I can't stand anyone anymore." "Oh okay. Well let's not worry about that right now. You need to cheer up and have some fun." "If only you knew I felt inside" was what I wanted to say. But of course, I didn't. I kept my mouth shut. I followed Gerard out of the bar. I was so glad to finally get out of there and to make it even better, I had met the most wonderful person in the world. I just couldn't believe my luck but in my mind, I kept telling myself not to get my hopes up. Every single time I am happy and feel good about myself, I always tend to bring myself right back down somehow. I will not allow myself to get hurt by someone else. Gerard lead me to his car and opened up the passenger door. "Here you are, make yourself comfortable in my messy car." "Thanks Gerard." I sat down in the car and put my seatbelt on as he closed the door and ran to the other side. He got in the car, started it up, and took off. As we were going down the familiar road I had walked down not too long ago, Gerard put on the radio. "Find a station that you want to listen to. I could care less." "Oh no, I am okay really." I replied. I wasn't in the music mood. Well, maybe I was. I wanted to hear him sing so I decided to find a song that I enjoyed. Just as luck would have it, Gerard like the song as well and did begin to sing. I sat in the passenger's side smiling to myself while listening to his amazing voice. When the song ended, Gerard turned the radio off. He pulled into an empty parking lot and parked and turned off the car. He then sat there with his hands on the wheel looking as if he had something to say, but was not sure how to. I looked out the side window and saw a bunch of kids skate boarding. As I had turned to glimpse at what Gerard was doing, he was too looking right back at me. "Listen Desiree, I do not normally do this, but I feel that I have to." I looked around, scared to death what he was going to say or do next. He grabbed my hand to softly kiss it. Butterflies fluttered around in my stomach. I am sure that I blushed and that my face was 10 shades of red. "Desiree, please look into my eyes as I say this because every word is true." So I looked right in his eyes and saw how sincere he was. "I have feelings for you that I have never felt for anyone before. I know we just met this afternoon, but there is something completely different about you. I am sure you don't feel the same for me, but I just want that to be out in the open. I am sorry if I am being to forward and sudden, but I just can't hold it inside any longer." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I felt dizzy, but so excited at the same time. I think I almost fainted. I finally managed to say, "I - I. Gerard, I have never felt this way either. I would have never thought someone like you would ever have feelings that strong for me. I think you are so much better than I am and I don't deserve you, though I want you to love, secure, and care for me." Gerard smiled. "I am no better than you are and I want be there for you in so many ways. He then gently pulled me towards him and gave me the most loving and
sweetest kiss I have ever been given.
The moment was ruined by one of our cell phones. It turned out to be mine. It was my house number so I assumed it was my grandmother. I decided to answer it. "Yeah?" was my answer. "Desi, where are you? I'm worried about you." It was my grandmother. "I'm around, everything is fine and I'm okay." Gerard coughed. "WHO IS THAT WITH YOU?" my grandmother exclaimed. "It's just a friend, nothing to be worried about. I'm a big girl." "Desi, I would like for you to come home right now." "Ma, I am old enough to make my own decisions and my decision is to come home whenever I feel like it. You can call me, but please, I am not coming home right now." I heard a click on the other end and the line went dead. I sighed as I put my phone back in my purse. "So, who was that?" Gerard asked. "Oh, it was just my grandmother." I laughed. "What was really funny is that when you coughed, she flipped out
asking me who I was with." Gerard smirked. "Yeah, what did she have to say?" "She told me she wants me home." "Oh." Gerard looked disappointed. "But, I'm not going home. I don't know where I am going." "You can always come back to my house with the guys. Nothing fancy, but it's a nice, warm place to sleep." "All right, that sounds great." We both smiled and then Gerard said "All right, let's get to that mall now. You must feel disgusting with those clothes on." "Yeah, well I just wanted to thank you again for letting me borrow your hoodie." "Hey, no problem. I'm glad I could keep you warm." Gerard started up the car and again and before we took off, he lit up a cigarette. "Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot to ask if you mind if I smoke. I understand that some people can't stand smoke around them." "No, you're fine. I mind as well have one myself, though I wanted to quit but, oh well." I grabbed a cigarette as well out of my purse and Gerard had already had his lighter ready. "Here you go." He said as he lit the lighter. "Thanks." I said with a smoke coming out of my mouth. Gerard then put the car in drive and took off. He put the radio back on and began to sing. I listened so closely to his voice. Every lyric that he sang was amazing. He has a voice of an angel.
We finally made it to the mall about 20 minutes later. Gerard found a close parking spot towards the front of the mall and parked there. He turned off the car, jumped out as I was gathering some of my things, and ran to my side to open the door. I looked up to see him smiling. I smiled back. I pulled my hair up into a messy ponytail, not caring what I looked like. I got out of the car and shut the door and Gerard was waiting patiently for me as I got myself situated. I walked to where he was standing and we both began to walk towards the front doors. When we got there, he opened them for me and I stepped inside. As he came up from behind me, he grabbed my hand. My heart began to accelerate. I felt as if I were going to explode with love and happiness. I could not believe this was happening Gerard looked at me and asked "So, where do you want to go to?" I thought about it for a minute "Hot Topic is fine by me." So we walked hand in hand to make our way to Hot Topic. When we walked into the store, I went straight for the band t-shirts. I did not see any that I liked and plus, I owned most of the t-shirts. I noticed out of the corner of my eye a gothic Tinkerbell hoodie. I check it out. "Do you like that one?" Gerard asked. "Yeah, but it's like $40." "Who cares. Grab it. Now let's find you some pants." So I went to the section where all the pants were. To my surprise, they had a pair of dark, destroyed jeans that were in my size! I grabbed those immediately and went to look for Gerard. I found him looking through some hoodies and he then grabbed one. "What do you think?" he asked as he held it up. It was a black hoodie with skulls on the front. "I love it." "Cool, I think I'll buy this for myself. What did you get for pants?" I held them out. "Destroyed jeans. I can't believe I actually found a pair here." Gerard laughed. "Yeah, they can be hard to find in a store like this as times. I like them and they'll definitely look good on you." I shook my head and laugh "Oh shut up, you're just saying that." "Uh, no you stop with that non-sense. I only speak the truth." He grabbed my hand again and we walked up to the front to pay. "Hey, thank you so much for offering to pay. I promise I will give you back the money one of these days." Gerard shook his head no. "Absolutely not. It's my treat." I wanted to argue with him, but I knew better. The girl at the register rang up all of what we had and gave Gerard this total. He paid by a credit card. After everything went through, the girl handed us our bags and we left the store. As we were walking through the mall, I linked arms with Gerard. I had no idea what possessed me to that. Wait, what am I talking about? I know what did. I was just surprised I made a move. I'm usually shy and quiet, but when I am around Gerard, I am more of myself. Gerard smiled and kissed my forehead. "You ready to go?" "Yeah, let's just stop to the restrooms real fast so I can change." "Good idea." When we got to the restrooms, we both went our separate ways and I changed as quickly as I could. I threw my dirty clothes in the Hot Topic bag. I looked in the mirror. I couldn't stand at what I was looking at. My hair was a mess, I had eyeliner smeared underneath my eyes. I looked horrible. I cleaned myself up as much as I could. I still was not satisfied on how I looked, but I knew it was better than before. I walked out of the bathroom and waited on Gerard. When he walked out, he took my breath away. No matter how many times I look at him, I just can't believe how gorgeous one human being can be and how they can have such an affect on your whole being, mind, and soul.
"So, Desiree, I say we get going because I have a surprise for you." I smiled. "Okay" So we both walked to the car. "Here put your things in there because we're going to be walking." I know I had a look of confusion on my face. "Don't worry, we won't be too long." "Okay." I said as I threw the bag on the floor. I rubbed my hands together because it was so cold. It was a very cold December night, but the way Gerard made me feel, I could barely notice. Gerard grabbed my hand once again and led me across the street to a park filled with Christmas lights and decorations. "I thought that we would enjoy the rest of the evening walking around the park and looking at the Christmas lights together." I looked into his eyes "Yeah, that would be nice." So we walked hand in hand once again and started to walk around the park. "So, Gerard, I have one question." "Okay, what is it?" "Why me?" Gerard stopped walking which forced me to be ahead of him but our hands never separated. "What do you mean?" "Well, I mean, why me? I don't understand how you could be attracted to me in any way." Gerard pulled me close to him and took my other hand as well. "Desiree, I can't explain why I chose you. There is something about you that drives me crazy. Yes, I know that I don't know you that well but when I look at you, my world just comes together. You complete me. I wish I had the words to explain on how I really feel because I could go on for hours." I began to cry. "I want something to happen between us. I need you. I've had a rough time in the past and now it's time for me to be happy and you are that someone that I feel that can make me feel the way I want to" he went on to say as he wiped my tears away. "But I also understand if you do not want to be with me. I probably seem like this weird guy that does this to every girl that he sees, but just ask any one of the guys, I have not felt so good in such a long time." I smiled. I could not hold back my tears. I wanted to just collapse into his arms and never have to deal with another problem again. "Gerard, I feel the same way." I said. "I feel like I have known you ever since we were babies. I just feel this connection between us that I have never felt for anyone before. You're the only one I want. I need you. I haven't had a great past either, but knowing that you were in my life would help me out in so many ways." I could see tears in Gerard's eyes. He looked down quickly as if he were ashamed he was crying. "I, I want to say so much to you right now. I said as I lifted his head up "But I am afraid." He touched the side of my face and said "Don't be afraid. It's time to renew our lives and have a new beginning." I hugged him. I did not want to let go. The warmth of his body secured me. "He is the one" I told myself, "You cannot fuck up this time because without him, you'll be nothing."
I finally pulled myself away from the hug. I could see that he still had tears in his eyes. I did as well. We both just stood in the middle of the park smiling and gazing into each other's eyes. We finished our walk through the park side by side; our arms linked looking at the Christmas decorations. I could not be any happier and feel more secure than I did right then and there. I, for once, forgot about all the problems that I have been dwelling on. "It is time to start a new chapter in my life" I caught myself saying that aloud. "What did you say?" Gerard asked. "I said that it is time to start a new chapter in my life." I sighed and smiled to myself. "I'm glad. I believe you are making the right decision." He replied happily. After we finished our walk, we headed back to the car. "So where are we off to now?" I asked. "Anywhere you want to go." "Well, I am cold, tired, and hungry. The thing is I have nowhere to go." "What are you talking about you have nowhere to go, you're coming home with me." "I am?" I asked with a surprised tone. "Yes you are. I'm going to take care of you tonight." "Okay!" I said with excitement. I have not been taken care of in the
longest time. I did not want to take advantage of this opportunity though. I could not seem needy or dependent on him. I had to keep myself strong. We drove straight to his house. I could see that the van was there so I assumed that the other four were there. As we walked into the house, I noticed that only Mikey and Ray were home. They both had two girls with them. Ray and Mikey stood up and greeted us. "Hey, so glad you could finally make it home!" Mikey said. Gerard smirked. "Yes, I'm sure you were so worried about me." "Hey, Frank and Bob went to get some pizza and wings. I made sure we ordered enough because you NEVER know who ends up stopping by here." Ray said. "That's very true," Mikey replied, "Oh excuse me, I forgot my manners. Desiree this is my girlfriend Alicia and Alicia this is Gerard's new friend." Mikey winked at the both of us. Alicia and I both said our hello's and shook hands. "It's very nice to meet you." I told her. Ray stood up next with a girl. "This is my girlfriend Jazz" We both shook hands. After we were finished with the introductions, Gerard and I both sat on the couch as Ray and Jazz went to sit on the lounge chair. I could tell that they were very much in love and happy. I was happy for them even though I just met them. Jazz was sitting on Ray's lap and he kept tickling her. She would giggle and squeal, but did not try to stop him. I turned to my right and saw Alicia and Mikey being sweet on each other too. I was told later on that they have been together for awhile and are planning to get married sometime next year. While we were all waiting for Bob and Frank to return with the food, Jazz decided to ask me some questions. "So, where do you live?" "Oh, uh, about 20 minutes away from here." She smiled. "That's pretty cool." "Yeah, I guess. And you?" "Oh I'm from Philly. I just came up for the weekend to visit my TOROSAURUS." She giggled and Ray leaned in to kiss her. "Aw, that's cute. Well, it's very nice to meet you." "Yeah, same to you." She said as she played with Ray's fro. Frank and Bob finally walked in. "Thank God," I thought to myself "I'm starving." "FRANKSTER AND LITTLE DRUMMER BOY TO THE RESCUE!!!!" Frank exclaimed as he jumped over the small coffee table. Everyone followed him to the kitchen besides Gerard and I. "I just want to let you know that if you in any way uncomfortable staying here with me and these crackheads, you just let me know. I don't want you to feel strange and regret ever meeting me. You could hear Frank telling jokes in the background and everyone laughing. "I'm fine, I promise." I gave him a peck on the cheek and got up ran into the kitchen. Gerard slowly ran behind me as if he were about to chase me. I began giggling like a school girl. I would have never imagined in a million years that I would be acting like this.