Oh!! Look mommy! It moves! Yeah anyway, a random not-really-a-follow-up to Watch the Birdie, involving vegans, ducks, Boots, sparkly eye shadow, Bert McCracken and a really sweet childish Ville. ...
Oh and once again no offence is meant towards any vegans, ducks, Finnish people or people who, like Frankie are addicted to Skittles. On the other hand plenty of offence is meant towards all chavs. So I'm not going to apologise. Ha.
Disclaimer: I own nothing - unfortunately Rachi owns all glares at Rach
Dedicated to: Silvana as a going-to-Germany-and-leaving-me thing and to Rach for inspiring it
Watch the Birdie [Finnish Edition]
Once upon a time in a dodgy looking chav infested high street in generally dodgy Walsall there was a Boots and so the opening for this...well generally dodgy story...
Ville sniffed. And then sneezed. Loudly. This hurt, because sneezing loudly does that. And I say so anyway. So There. Huh. Yeah, anyway so on with the story. Well as he'd been sneezing loudly Davey was getting 'Gaybo' looks from half of Boots; which could have been taken two ways, considering the fact he was standing next to a large cut out of Graham Norton. Turning around Davey sighed as he spotted Ville, still sneezing and standing next to a large bunch of red and strangely fluffy petunias.
"Ville get away from the petunias." The rock star sighed, tucking his long hair behind one ear - which didn't help his I'm-actually-very-straight bid. The fact that he had 'man-love' sprawled across his forehead in pink marker courtesy of Jade Puget probably didn't help much either.
The Finn looked at him quizzically and then at the petunias before sneezing one last time and wandering off again. Davey sighed - sometimes you just couldn't get the rock stars.
Soon Ville's annoyance and sad confusion about the lack of respect for people with hay fever soon evaporated as he found the makeup aisle.
"Wow! The makeup aisle!" Yes Ville dear, we know I just told them. And with this joyful exclamation he wandered off to find yet more eye shadow. "And with this joyful exclamation I shall wander off to find yet more eye shadow!"
*Brief pause I'm sorry about that, I was busy hitting my head off a wall glares at Ville*
Ville seemed unbothered by the fact that I was glaring at him though and stood messing about with the testers for a while - until he got bored and found some glitter. Don't get me wrong, it was pretty glitter...just not meant to be used in large quantities. Davey appeared around the corner just after the Finn had spilled half of it on his right hand and was staring at it sadly.
"Davey..." He moaned quietly "What do I do with it?" The singer thought for a minute "I dunno..." He muttered "But I bet it isn't organic." And with that he went to rant at the manager for the lack of organic products. Because Davey does that.
Meanwhile... (Somewhere with less Vegans and hair dye that doesn't work glares at Boots)
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Look at meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" So Bert did. And got hit in the face by Gerard, who'd decided to jump off the swing at just the wrong moment.
"Sugar." The rock star muttered, because it was national non swearing day.
Gerard seemed happily unhurt though and just jumped to his feet, laughing his sweat little laugh and ran off.
"Shit." Bert swore. Because he didn't honestly give a fuck.
Just then a small duck...with little slightly bloodstained fangs waddled up to him and quacked. Bert looked down at it and eyed it suspiciously "You're not out to make my day hell too are you?" He sighed at it.
"Oh course not my dear Robert." The duck answered in a very posh English accent. Bert blinked "Huh?" He asked quickly, rubbing his hand over his eyes.
"You asked me a question," The duck told him, almost sadly "I was only trying to be nice." It muttered before waddling off again.
Bert blinked again as he realised he felt sorry for it. 'Get a grip McCracken,' he sighed to himself 'it was gee hitting you in the head'
On the other side of the globe somewhere without ducks (is there even such a place?)
There was a small dog called Charlie...or Hemmingway for short...even though that's actually quite long shakes head What the heck. Anyway, Charlie the dog was confused. He was confused because as well as having nothing to do with the story he had been human five minutes ago. A guy...also named Charlie who had been at a rugby tour thing...So he decided to go and tell his dear friend Rach about his life as a dog. So he did and it went something like this.
"Rach...pants Look! pants I'm pants a dog! pants Give me lamb Rach! pants." But it made him sad, because Rach had found another dog, so she left. And Charlie was sad...awww...
looks confused Anyway...
Over a lake, a pretty lake hovered Frankie Iero. He had decided to be calm and find his inner Frank but it wasn't going too well. But if he forgot and went hyper he would fall in the lake...and he was wearing his favourite vans so he didn't want to fall in the lake. *everybody goes aww*
But just at that moment Mikey bounced past on a space hoper because as well as being national no swearing day it was also national Way day. Wow...that rhymes! But Mikey thought it would be quite amusing to see Frankie fall in the water...so he unleashed his secret weapon.
E.g. he started to throw skittles at him.
"Ooooh!" Frank yelled "Skiiiiiiiiiiiittleeeeeeeeeeees!" And then fell in the lake.
And so our fic ended, because the narrator needed therapy...(you would to) but that wasn't the end...*evil laugh GOODBYE MINIONS!!
A/N: shakes head Did that make sense to anyone? Tell me if it did and I shall give you the name of a good physiatrist. Please review, I know it sucked and made no sense but oh well sighs Reviews make Rachi HAPPY!