The mechanizations of a mystical microwave and two teenage boys.
A teenage boy named Sean spoke on the phone with his friend, Choi.
". . . he is so metro," Sean said.
"No, Sean, he isn't," Choi replied.
"What guy takes two showers every day? It just ain't right. I don't even think that chicks take two showers every day."
"Dennis isn't metro, he's just a little confused."
"He isn't even athletic! He just can't get dirty enough to warrant two showers a day."
"Well . . . whatever. You're probably right, Sean."
"Don't let your ego get too much bigger than it already is."
Choi sighed on the other end of the phone. . .
And then there was a long, very awkward silence.
As usual, Sean broke it.
"Dude! My microwave is, like, a mystical device from above!" Sean said excitedly.
"Sean, shut up."
"No seriously! When it's done cooking your food, it'll beep three times. Then the words 'FOOD IS READY' will go across the screen, on letter at a time. But if you don't let the whole phrase go across, something will happen to your food.
"Like, this one time, I was making Bagel Bites. Ah, Bagel Bites. . . Anyway, I opened the door to the microwave, but it only had the word 'FOOD' on it. And inside, instead of my Bagel Bites, there was a cockroach on a stick! I didn't want that kind of food!
"And this other time, I was making Bagel Bites again, and the microwave finished. But I didn't open the microwave until it said "FOOD IS READ'. It was still too soon. When I opened the microwave, inside was yesterday's newspaper!"
There was a pause on the phone.
"Sean, you know you're a lying retard, right?" Choi asked.
"Do you know that Nicole's never gonna fuck you, no matter how much you touch her boobs? I mean, the only people that would sleep with you are Mr. Graziano, Mrs. Kidd, and Julia! The only way you could get Nicole is if you raped her! Not to give you any ideas. . ."
There was another pause.
"Choi?" Sean asked, afraid that he had hurt his friend's feelings.
"Sean, all of that is beside the point. That microwave crap still makes you a fucking liar," Choi said.
"It's all true! Come over to my house tomorrow and I'll show you!"
"Fine. See you there."
Choi and he and Sean were standing in Sean's kitchen . . . Alone. Staring at the microwave.
"I'm gonna show you right now how full of shit you are," Choi said.
"Choi, no! You're messing with powers far beyond your control!"
"I'll do it whether you think I should or not."
To speed it up, Choi set the microwave to one second.
One second passed.
The microwave beeped once.
Sean got a bad feeling in his gut.
The microwave beeped twice.
Sean began to sweat.
The microwave beeped for the third and last time.
"CHOI DON'T DO IT!" Sean yelled.
F. . .
O. . .
O. . .
D. . .
I. Choi opened the microwave.
And suddenly, Choi was gone in a puff of smoke.
Right where he had been standing, there was a plate covered in Bagel Bites.
"Yay!" Sean shouted in glee. He ran to the fridge, grabbed a Dr. Pepper, and then began to consume his favorite lunch.
Well, there it is. Hope you liked it. You know, rate it, write reviews, I'm asking for the usual here.