This is a Ryan centered chapter.
For Kim (xImRadx): because you're so damn awesome, I think I will make another story (a BRENDON one), as soon as this one is done. Guess who will the lead character will be? LOL! I hope you're smart enough to know who it will be. I know I could just have emailed you instead of telling the entire world, but I just couldn't help it.
ON WITH THE TOFURKEYING STORY!
Chapter 12: Heartbroken Beyond Control
Pete and Isaab looked at each other and didn't know what to do and what to think. Pete looked down.
"Isaab, what now?" he asked, not looking up
"I don't know, Pete. All I really know is, we have to decide. Do we put these feelings away or break Ryan's heart? I really can't decide, Pete" she shook her head. "I want to be with you, really, more than anything in this world." Pete smiled. "But I don't want to break Ryan's heart. You know that I love him too."
Pete looked up. "Who do you love more?"
Isaab looked down. "Please don't ask me that, Pete. I really can't imagine my life with neither of you, to be honest."
"Then be with me. You know that I'd never in my life, hurt you, Isaab." Pete said almost begging.
"You don't know if you're hurting someone. You know what? At this point, you're hurting me. And you have no idea how much, Pete."
Pete groaned. "What can I do to make you come to me?"
Isaab walked closer to him and hugged him. He was surprised at first but hugged back. They held each other and it seemed so hard to let go. After a few minutes, they separated.
"We should head back before anyone sees us." Isaab said. Pete nodded.
Little did they know that someone had already seen them.
Ryan saw everything. He saw Isaab's reaction, because he was on the opposite wing, and he thought Alyssa saw him... then he saw her shaking her head and looked to her side where Isaab was sobbing already. It broke his heart to see her being affected so much, like it was killing herself-all because Pete made Patrick sing a Ne-Yo song.
And it broke his heart to see the love of his life kissing the man he looked up to.
After seeing the entire episode, he decided that all he wanted to do was rewind the entire thing; the song, the crying... and the kiss. He turned his heel and started walking back to the venue, and into his dressing room. He stared at the floor so that obsessive fans would not notice him. Before opening the door, he wiped a tear that escaped from his eye.
Once we got in the room, he noticed that the other three members of Panic! At the Disco, looking very uncomfortable, were there apparently being interviewed by a middle-aged woman, red faced from fury, dressed in a blazer and a matching skirt to match.
What the Hell? he thought.
"Does it concern you that-oh hello. You must be" she looked at her sweaty hand that had smudged ink on it. "George".
He shook his head and gave her a small smile. "It's Ryan. George is my father's name. Well, it's also mine but I stick with Ryan."
For a second, he saw her frown then gave him a sickly sweet smile. He motioned for him to come closer to where she was sitting and gave him her hand for him to shake. He politely shook her hand and sat next to Brendon on the sofa and for the next 20 or so minutes, the band had to endure a lecture coming from a middle aged woman about setting a responsible example to the many children that looked up to them. By the end of the lecture, they all felt an inch of fear and a little bit of pressure from the supposedly parent. She walked away from the room, bidding the band good-bye.
"Scary" Brendon, Jon, and Spencer said at once while staring at the door. Ryan just nodded and walked to the vanity mirror. He pressed his wait onto his hands on the table in front of the mirror and stared at mirror thinking about his dilemma.
Jon noticed the sudden wave of sadness that entered the room. He nudged Spencer and pointed his head toward Ryan's direction. Spencer nodded. Jon opened the door and both of them quietly exited, dragging Brendon.
/"I would never cheat on you"/. The moment played in his head a million times in his head, being followed by the kiss he had just witnessed. He bowed his head, and felt his face get hot and expected little droplets to come and cool his face down, but none came. He growled and walked toward to the side, in front of him a blank wall. He threw his arm at it. The hand seared in pain, yet he almost didn't feel it. He wiggled his fingers to see if they were broken, and twisting his wrist to feel that familiar crack. He sighed in relief that it wasn't broken, but it also made him feel even worse. He suddenly felt himself shaking and sweat all over his body. He took off his jacket and sat down on one of the sofas.
Why can't I cry? he thought. Ryan sat back onto the comfortable chair and tried to let it all sink in, but it was too hard when he was covered in clothing, sweaty and the room a hundred degrees. He shook his head and stood up, and headed for the bathroom. He peeled his clothes off and stepped into the shower. He opened the cold water and let it soothe him.
Ryan tried to put the pieces together, how did he not see this coming? Why couldn't he cry? For how long have they been keeping it to themselves and showing it? What was 'it'? Then it hit him; they loved each other. They loved each other not like sister and brother, but they way he loved Isaab. He was sure that she loved him back, but just not how much. Everyone knew Pete loved Isaab, and vice-versa, but he was just so blind as how they loved each other. Now he knew enough of what was so invincible to him before, and it made his heart shatter to a million pieces.
He felt little warm, salty droplets of water run down his cheeks. He felt some relief again and then he began to sob, knowing he could. He sobbed for a good two minutes and then, he knew that he wasted enough water. He turned of the faucet and walked out of the shower and the bathroom. He got dressed in a shirt and jeans and put on flip-flops. He got the used clothes out of the bathroom and stuffed it in his duffel bag he brought with him and walked out of the dressing room.
Ryan walked out of the venue, figuring what to do, and looking down.
He knew just what not to do.