Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Left Out

Left Out

by Arisa 3 Reviews

Rated R just to be safe. This is my first gsf, and to my knowledge the first gsf on the site. If not, tell me. Although it doesn't really have any sex in it, just fluff mostly.

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: R - Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance - Characters:  - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2007/04/01 - Updated: 2007/04/01 - 3231 words

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~Left Out~
This is my first panic! gsf, even though there isn't really sex in it. xD ( Does that make it a group fluff fic [gff] instead of a group sex fic? ) I was just reading a bunch of them thanks to my sick (but lovable) friends, and I got inspired to write one. It was originally gonna involve sex, but then I realized something, I'm not too horribly talented in that category. Besides, I wanted fluff, so I hope you're in that mood.~


All four of the boys were lying calmly in bed, their breathing even and most of them asleep. The boy on the left end shivered slightly and pulled back to rub his chest lightly, which was beginning to feel constricted. The boy who's back was snuggled into him shifted from the loss of body heat and sat up, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "Jon, do you wanna go again? I mean, we were all tired but I'd be glad to take you on another round if you can't sleep." Jon gave a small smile and shook his head. Brendon was always ready for sex, even half asleep.

"Nah, it's cool Bren, I'm just feeling a little off tonight." Brendon gave him an inquizitive look before moving to sit in Jon's lap. "Are you okay?" He asked softly, leaning his head against Jon's chest and rubbing light circles on his back with one hand. Jon took his hand away from his chest and situated it with his other hand on Brendon's waist. "I'm fine, lets just get some sleep before we wake the others." Brendon nodded and slid out of his lap, pulling Jon down with him. Brendon snuggled up close to Ryan, pulling Jon over and making sure his body was tightly pressed between Jon's and Ryan's. It wasn't long before Brendon's breathing evened out, and Jon fell into a light sleep not long after.

They woke up the next morning in a tangle of arms and legs. They all stood slowly, getting dressed as sluggishly as possible. They headed out for breakfast and Jon sat down on the far seat with Spencer falling in next to him. Spencer poured himself a bowl of Fruit Loops, and knowing Jon didn't like them, held a box of cheerios out to him. Jon smiled and shook his head politely. Spencer shrugged and leaned back against Jon's chest, crunching on his cereal. Ryan poured both him and Brendon a bowl of Lucky Charms, since Bren almost refused to eat any cereal without marshmallows. Ryan sat down and Brendon came in not long after, quickly regaining his usual bounce.

They headed into the venue for a day of interviews, sound checks, and, of course, the concert. The interviews weren't all that horrible, but between them and the soundchecks Jon was almost totally drained. By the time they were walking out on stage, he wasn't really able to focus on anything besides remembering what he was suppose to be playing. Once the concert was over Jon beat all the others to the dressing room, changing and heading straight for the bus. Generally, they had sex after a concert. After every concert, but hey, the three of them could still have fun without him right? Jon crawled into his bunk and burrowed beneath the covers.

After tossing and turning for a while, he decided that laying down was just making him feel worse, so he pulled himself into a sitting position, leaning back against the corner of the bunk, and pulled the blankets as close as possible. He heard the other come in and prayed that they wouldn't come over to him. He loved his boys, but he couldn't stand feeling so weak, or causing trouble and making them worry. "Guys, where's Jon?" He heard Ryan ask, walking closer to his bunk. He heard another set of footsteps approach and then Brendon's voice. "Let him sleep, he didn't get much last night and he was looking a little pale today. Just give him some time to rest. We can always make it up to him." He could practically hear Brendon's smirk as he said that and Ryan let out a small breath, but his footsteps headed past his bunk and into the back lounge where they met after the concerts.

Jon remained leaning against the corner, in a half-asleep state for god knows how long, but he heard the guys all come crawling back to change. The guys had finally gotten a fold-out couch on the bus, so that it was much easier to sleep in the same bed. The guys all ambled out as quickly as they'd come and Jon was both thankful and slightly put-off by the silence. He missed the sound of breathing around him and the feel of the others there. He sighed and stood quickly, rushing to the bathroom. Of all the times to get this sick, why did it have to be on tour. Jon sighed again to himself, emptying his stomach of whatever it was he had eaten that day. He wiped his mouth off, washed his hands and mouth out, then stumbled past all the other bunks and silently thanked god he had picked a bottom bunk.

He groaned as he stumbled back in, lying back in the corner against the cool sides of the bunk. He froze when he heard someone moving outside his bunk. "Jon, 's everythin' okay?" Ryan stumbled over his words in his half asleep state. "Yeah Ryan, I think I just ate something bad, thats all." Jon lied smoothly, and was once again thankful, this time for the curtain. Ryan would have definately been able to call his bluff if he could see Jon. All of them could see through the little lies. "D' you want me to lay with you? Maybe it'll help you feel better." Jon smiled despite the horrible ache in his limbs. "No, just head back to the others Ry, just in case it actually is something, I don't wanna risk you catching it." He heard Ryan's feet shuffle lightly. "Okay, but if you start to feel worse come get one of us." Ryan retreated again to the lounge and Jon sighed.

His back was aching and he couldn't stand sitting up anymore. He felt his head hit the pillow and he was asleep before he even realized. He awoke to the sound of people moving around outside his bunk. His head pounded and he felt way to tired to have actually been asleep for any length of time. Before he could close his eyes his curtain was pulled back and he could feel light stream in, making his headache worse. He turned away from the light and shut his eyes quickly. "Sorry." He heard Ryan's soft voice apologize. The curtain was quickly shut and Jon turned his attention back to Ryan. "S'okay." Jon's voice was much more broken sounding then he would have liked. "Are you sure your okay? You never sleep this late. Besides you went to bed early, and I get the feeling your avoiding us."

Jon sat up and pulled Ryan into his arms. Ryan smiled and hugged Jon back tightly. "I'm not avoiding you guys. I just haven't been feeling one-hundred percent and I didn't want you all to catch it." Ryan looked up at him and frowned. "You should have said something before. I mean, you look pretty bad Jon. Are you sure your okay?" Ryan sounded worried and Jon mentally kicked himself. 'This was exactly what I didn't want, remember.' "I'm fine Ryan, I just have a headache is all." Jon forced a smile and Ryan smiled back. "I'll go get you advil!"He hopped off the bed and Jon smiled to himself.

Jon knew that soon the others would worry too, so he forced himself up and out of bed. All of his muscles protested, and he could see the room spinning, but he ignored the sensation. The room stopped by the time he got out to the living room and even though his muscles were still aching, he was glad he could see straight again. Ryan was filling up the cup in the sink and had the pills in his hand. Jon sat down on the couch and gave Brendon and Spencer a small smile. Brendon crawled out of Spencer's lap and moved over so he was cuddling into Jon's side. "Ry says your not feeling well, so we should keep it down. He said you weren't feeling well last night either, and you told me you weren't feeling well the night before that. Spence said you didn't eat breakfast yesterday. Are you okay?" Brendon took forever to get to a simple question, but he was quiet, which was unusual for him.

"I'm fine Bren, just a little cold bug I'm sure. Nothing else has been wrong." Ryan was looking around and trying to find where he put the advil, and Brendon was cuddled into Jon's side, but Spencer was looking straight at him, and he knew right then that he was screwed. Spencer moved so he was on Jon's other side and leant in towards his ear. "Liar." the word was smooth and quiet, said as casually as a hello, but the look of worry on Spencer face was not nearly so calm. Jon stood immediately and headed towards the bunks, feeling dzzy from a mix of guilt and something even he wasn't sure of. "Jon!" Spencer called out and shot forward. Even Spencer wasn't quick enough and Jon fell and hit the back wall. Ryan practically dropped the glass on the counter and sprinted over to where Jon was sitting, head in his hands, with Brendon right behind him.

"Jon, tell us whats wrong." Jon's head was fuzzy and he could hear an irritating high pitched ring in his ears. "I-I'm fine. I just got a little dizzy, you know, what with the headache and all, I guess my coordination is thrown off." Spencer shook his head lightly and tried to look at Jon's eyes, but he had his head in his hands. Spencer sighed and pulled Jon in for a hug, giving him a light kiss as he pulled away. Jon returned the kiss and then stood when they broke apart, heading back to his bunk. Ryan brought in the advil and Jon took both with a single gulp, before lying down again. Ryan remained there, sitting on his bunk for a while and just rubbing random shapes on Jon's back. When he heard Jon's breathing even out he stood, heading for the front again.

"You guys, I'm worried about Jon." Brendon was still quiet and completely serious, which was definitely not normal. He was curled in Spencer's lap, clinging to the other boy. Ryan sighed and nodded. "There's definately something wrong , but if we're lucky it's just on of those little viruses that only lasts a couple of days. If he isn't any better when he wakes up again, or if he gets worse, then we take it to a doctor, or at least someone outside of us." The other two nodded lightly and they continued on with their day. Jon woke up a few hours later, feeling much better. He still felt cold, but his muscles didn't ache, shis stomach felt settled, and his head wasn't hurting. He pulled the blankets up and picked up his phone, turning it on. His phone signified he had a voice mail and he sighed and listened to it.

He heard some shuffling for a second and thought it may have been a wrong number, but then a female voice cleared its throat. 'Jon, darling, I'm sure that you already know this is your mother. Um...gosh, this is hard to explain, so I might as well just get it over with, right? You know how you told us about your little relationship? Well, your father and I talked this over with your brothers and, well, we're all in agreement.You have to end your connection to it. I mean, you can stay in the band, but you can't be in this relationship. Honestly, think about it dear, there is no way that four boys can all love each other. I mean, being gay is one thing that I can maybe see, but this is impossible. If you choose to stay with these boys, then I'm going to have to ask that you don't bother coming back. I'm sorry, but you have to understand that this...well, it just isn't right. Don't bother to reply, we'll know your answer after the tour is over. Just know that coming back here means that your willing to stop the relationship. Well...um...bye.' He threw his phone down.

He curled up in a the bunk again, picking up his pillow and putting it between his head and his knees so that he could rest on it. It wasn't long before his tears stained the fabric of the pillow, and he had to fight to keep his sobs silent. He could hear it raining outside and was thankful for the harsh sound hitting the windows, since it made him feel like he wasn't the only one feeling upset and alone. Jon's back went rigid, though, when the first bolt of lightning hit, and the thunder followed soon after. Jon had never been a big fan of storms, it was just one of those things that had scared him since he was a child. He, oddly enough, loved the rain despite that.

The silent sobs that racked Jon's body became that much more harsh as the thunder and lightning bolts came many and with only short breaks in between. Jon didn't hear the light knocking on the side of his bunk, nor did he notice the curtain being pulled back. He did, however, notice a pair of arms wrapping themselves around him. "It's okay Jon, come to the back lounge and sit with us. We can wach a movie to help block out the noise." Spencer kept an arm around Jon's waist the entire walk back to the louge. The fold-out bed was still set up from last time, and the midnight blue comforter was wrapped around the two bodies allready under the covers. "Jon! You look better." Brendon was smiling from his place with his chin placed on Ryan's shoulder. Jon gave him a sad smile and nodded. 'Well, I'm not totally lying, I do feel better from that sickness. Now I just feel out of place and alone.'

Ryan beckoned Spencer and Jon over with a small smile. Spencer led Jon over and Brendon moved so that he was on the edge instead of Jon. Spencer sat next to Ryan, who was on the other side of Jon. Ryan and Brendon both wrapped their arms around Jon, and Spencer kept a hand on Jon's thigh. ryan hit the play button and the movie started. The movie was 'The Incredibles' and Jon immediately knew that Brendon picked. The thought made him smile a bit and he tried to wipe away a few of the tears. Jon's hand was quickly pushed down as Ryan reached up, wiping the tears away lightly, though more quickly took their place. "What's wrong Jon, you aren't usually this scared of a storm, besides, we're all here for you." Jon gave him a small smile and a nod. 'Why is it that even with them all around me I feel more alone than I felt when we were just friends?' Jon asked himself, feeling a hollow tugging in the pit of his stomach.

"It isn't just the storm right? What's wrong. Please talk to us?" Brendon pouted slightly. Jon sighed and stood up, heading back to his bunk. "Jon?" Spencer spoke, sittng up, ready to go after him "I'll be right back, I'm just going to answer Bren's question." Jon grabbed his sidekick off the mattress. He walked slowly back to the bed and clicked on the message. He hit play and held the phone the Brendon's ear. Brendon took it and listened quietly. He turned away from them about half -way through the message. Jon could tell because he was replaying every word in his head. The message finished and Brendon dropped the phone on the bed. He was looking down, but he didn't say a word. Spencer gingerly reached over Ryan and took the phone, replaying the message again, this time on speaker.

Ryan's mouth fell open slightly and Spencer took Jon's hand and held it tightly in his own. As soon as the message ended the second time, Brendon found his voice again. "Who the hell is she to tell you whether or not we love you. That bitch doesn't deserve to have you come back if she can't see that your happy here!" Bren was glaring daggers at Jon's phone, and Spencer quickly moved it to the table before Brendon could break it. Spencer was rubbing Jons back and Ryan pulled Jon into a hug, letting him cry on his shoulder. Jon could feel his tears soaking through the material of Ryan's thin shirt, and he put his arms around Ryan. Brendon put a solid hand on Jon's shoulder and shook his head at everything that was going on. Jon pulled back lightly, and spoke. "I've been thinking about this since before the phone call but...maybe I should get an apartment in Vegas?" Spencer and Ryan smiled, hugging each other with a glint in their eyes, but Brendon looked like a kis at Christmas time. " Really!? You mean, a place where we could all visit you any time we wanted after this?" Jon laughed lightly and nodded. Brendon threw his arms around Jon and tackled him, pinning him to the bed.

Ryan and Spencer laughed, watching Brendon attack Jon's mouth with his own. Ryan leaned over and gave Spencer a light kiss, but squeaked when Brendon shot out a hand and pulled both Spencer and Ryan down with them. They made out for a few minutes before pulling away to catch their breath. Spencer had an arm around Ryan's waist and one on Jon's hip, Ryan had one hand on top of Spencer's and the other around Jon's waist, Jon had one hand resting on the leg that Ryan threw around him, and the other pulling Brendon close, and Brendon had an arm around Jon and one on Ryan's leg.

"See, this is nice? We don't even have to have sex and we can sill enjoy each other's company." Spencer said from his spot curled into Ryan's back. "I believe thats what they call love, no matter what some people say." They all nodded with a smile. "We still could have sex you know." "Brendon!" Everybody groaned at the same time. "What? I was just saying that we could." Brendon sighed innocently, burrying himself in Jon's chest. They all lied there in a comfortable silence before Jon broke it. "He's right y'know. We could still have sex..." It fell silent again before Brendon sat up and before long, Jon felt warmer than ever, even if they were all naked.

What did you guys think. I may actually write a gsf in the future, so tell me if you like this and whether or not you would like that when you review.~




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