Slash and Duff has invited the other guys to a couple dinner.
He had everything planned, from the place cards to the menu, but of course he made Duff do all the cooking. Duff knew a delicious recipe for chicken wok with lobster sauce, that he always used when he was going to have fancy dinners. In the meantime, Slash cleaned the apartment. Everything was all messed up in there, stuff lying everywhere on the floor.
"Ouch!" Slash stepped on something. "What the hell is that? Why do you always have to put so stupid things on the fuckin' floor?!"
Duff looked at the frying pan, to make sure that the food wouldn't burn, before he turned around to face his lover. "Come here, babe. Sorry 'bout that", he reached out for Slash's hand and pulled him close. "Y'know I'm a bit stressed up, I just want everything to work out tonight."
"Mm, I know honey. Heard anythin' from Izzy yet?"
"Yeah, he's bringin' some guy he met like yesterday or somethin'. I think he maybe felt a bit forced to meet someone, y'know". Duff gave Slash a knowing look.
"What? Can't blame me for that. I've tried to make everything work for everybody, man."
Duff got even closer and let his hand pass over the others back, before gently taking the jeans jacket off. "I know you've done your best, honey." Slash smiled, Duff always understood.
"So, how's everythin' goin' out here? Is it going to taste as good as you do?" Slash let his hands slip around Duff's waist to untie the knot on his apron. Duff smiled, but gave a worried look towards the stove. He'd spent so much time on the food and it would be such a waist of both time, energy and ingredients to forget about it. But then, with Slash so close, he didn't really care.
"Nah, don't know 'bout that. I think you'll just have to see for yourself ".
Slash gently caressed Duff's cheek before leaning up to kiss the taller ones lips.
"What am I goin' to wear tonight man? Everything is just bad! To ugly, to small, to big, to orange.."
Steven looked at his boyfriend, who frenetically threw all his clothes on the floor. Axl had been calm all day, had looked forward to this dinner until Steven said something about Terry Smith.
"Y'know it's just the boys right? Don't think it'll matter that much.."
Axl stopped and looked at Steven. "Just the boys? Iz is bringin' his boyfriend!"
"So? It's just the boys and Izzy's boyfriend then, who cares?"
Axl mumbled something to himself and continued to look through his wardrobe. Steven went closer and took Axl's clothes from his hands. "Y'know, you never ever dress up for me."
Axl saw those sad eyes, and didn't really know what to say. "But little Steve, you know that's because I know you love me for who I am."
"But you never dress up for anyone Axl! What about that guy?"
"Look, it's not like that. But he's played with MotÃ¶rhead, man! I don't want him to think that I'm just a little jerk without any money..."
"Oh..." Steven looked at his lover, trying to meet his eyes. "But then, you're Axl Rose man. So I think he'll know who you are."
Axl thought about that for a while before he smiled and gave Steven a little kiss on the cheek. "Y'know, I never thought about it like that."
"I'm not that surprised", Steven said and let his lips meet the lips of his lover. "So, why don't ya just take those black pants you look so hot in?"
The food was almost done and the table was laid for six, with napkins and all. Slash had spent the last twenty minutes planning the seating, he wanted it to be a good mix among the three pairs. Then he figured that Izzy's boyfriend, who kinda drove him mad 'cause he didn't know his name so he couldn't make a nice place card, would feel a little left out if he wasn't placed next to Izzy. So that meant it was only two pairs left to mix, and Slash sighed when he realized that it wouldn't be a good mix at all.
Slash looked at the tall bassist who had turned away from the stove again. "Izzy didn't happen to say the name of his fuckin' boyfriend? I can't get the fuckin' seating right man!"
Duff sighed. "Is it really that important with place cards, babe?"
Slash looked offended. "Is it really that import...? You know that I've been workin' my ass off for this fuckin' dinner Duff!"
"Yeah I know. But I just thought... y'know, there'll be only six here and... well, maybe we can sit where we want to. I'm not saying it was a bad idea, honey. Just that our guests might think it's a bit ridiculous..."
Slash mumbled something and pulled the place cards from the table and started to tear them to pieces. Duff looked at his friend and didn't really know what to do, but he felt the guilt in his chest. Slash had really worked for this dinner, wanted it to be perfect and Duff felt it a bit like he'd ruined it for his lover.
"Come 'ere, honey", he reached out his hand, expected Slash to take it, but Slash just turned away. "I'm sorry, didn't mean to destroy anythin' for you". Slash didn't seem to react at all so Duff moved his hand to Slash's shoulder. "Can't we just forget about this? We'll do everything as you want it to be."
Slash faced Duff and there was a twitching little smile. "Really?"
"Whatever you want, love".
As Slash leaned forward in Duff's embrace, they heard the soft ringing from the doorbell. "Oh shit, they are already here!"
Duff ran into the kitchen and Slash went to open the door. He was met by three very happy faces, and one unsure guy he didn't recognize. He figured that was Izzy's boyfriend.
"Welcome inside guys", he turned to the blond short-haired guy. "Nice to meet you. I'm Slash".
Izzy gave him a "my boyfriend isn't stupid"-look and smiled 'cause Slash looked so confused.
"Nice to meet you too mate, my name is Terry Smith."
Slash smiled, it wasn't every day he met someone from his birth country.
"Eh, where's Duff dude?" Axl asked and didn't wait for an answer before walking into the apartment. "Wow, where's all your stuff? Under the bed or somethin'?" He headed for the bedroom, but Steven ran to stop him. "Is that a good way to behave? Wasn't you nervous about Terry or somethin'? An' now you're fuckin weird man!"
Axl looked confused but then he smiled, "ooh Steven, I sure do love you as hell".
"Eh, what d'you mean? You can't just...", he was suddenly unable to speak, 'cause Axl kissed him and for a minute or two, Steven was afraid he would never stop.
Meanwhile, Slash tried to contact them by talking to them about his plans for the evening but it didn't occur to Axl that he should listen. Terry and Izzy listened though, and they seemed very interested, holding each others hands, and agreed with all of Slash's ideas.
"Splendid", Terry said when Slash was done talking about a game he thought they could play later on. It was also the word 'splendid' that finally stopped Axl from kissing Steven. He turned around.
"Splendid? Sounds weird man".
"What do you mean weird?" Izzy said, knowing that Axl wouldn't drop this British thing until they all got upset. Slash opened his mouth so say something, but he felt that it was no use and went to see Duff instead.
"Well, I am just a bit curious Iz. Y'know, 'cause he's from Great Britain and all".
"Slash's from Great Britain too, y'know".
Axl sighed. "C'mon. Slash! This is real y'know, Slash fuckin' talks like an American an' stuff".
Terry looked confused and didn't know what to do, all of a sudden everybody was talking about him as though he wasn't there. Izzy had warned him before, he'd said that the band was weird but Terry had had some higher thoughts about them.
"Y'know lads. There's nothing special about Great Britain really", he said and smiled unsure.
Before the two gunners got a chance to answer, Duff and Slash came back from the kitchen.
"Hi everyone!" Duff looked at all the faces in the hallway. "Ah, hello", he said when his eyes stopped at Terry's face. "My name is Michael but you can call me Duff."
Axl laughed. "Slash, you didn't say your real name did you?"
"Who cares? I don't want him to call me Saul so I don't introduce myself as Saul. Why are you so fuckin' fucked up today man?"
Duff sighed and looked at Terry again, after giving Slash a "don't make a scene"-look. "Sorry man, didn't get your name".
"Terry Smith, nice to meet you."
Duff smiled. "Alright fellas, the food is kinda ready so..." Axl took Steven's arm and dragged him away to the table. "That's about fuckin' time man. I'm starvin' here!"
Izzy whispered something in Terry's ear, which made him smile and they walked together, hand in hand, to the living room.
The food was on the table and they all took their seats in pairs, as Slash had dreaded.
"It looks rather marvelous really", Terry said looking at the wok pan. "What is it?". They all ignored Axl's expression, they knew that if they would look at him he would say something more about Terry's accent, and none of them wanted that to happen. They looked at Duff instead, wanting him to tell them the name of this delicious dish.
"Well, this ain't special y'know. Just a chicken wok with lobster sauce, hope you'll like it though".
Steven took Axl's plate, and reached for the ladle. "How much d'ya want?". Axl shrugged, "don't know man, think I could eat a whole fuckin' horse". He smiled and started to hum for himself, "sometimes I feel like I'm eatin' a dead horse". Steven looked at him and sighed, he had to take care of Axl later. For now he just gave him the food, which was the best way to make him shut up.
Izzy, who sat next to Steven, gave him a little push in the side. "That can't be easy, man. He's like a fuckin' baby or somethin'."
"Yeah, I know. You just have to learn livin' with the shit." Axl looked up from his plate and stared at Steven for a moment, before he smiled and turned his attention back to the chicken.
Duff, who almost sat in Slash's lap after some nice compliments for the food, thought that it might be a good idea to start some kind of conversation around the table. He cleared his throat and looked at Terry and Izzy, who were sitting next to each other, still holding each others hands. He thought about the time when he and Slash had it like that, when everything was so new. It had been a good time, but now everything felt much more comfortable. They knew each other in and out, you could say.
"So, how did you guys meet?"
Terry looked at Izzy and they smiled and laughed and everybody around the table understood that this was a cute story. Or maybe not Axl, 'cause he was to busy eating, but nobody expected him to care so it was kind of fair.
"Well, it was a bit odd really", Terry said and turned to Izzy again. "Do you want to tell the story, dear?" Izzy shrugged and tickled Terry tenderly on his neck. The blond one smiled and removed his brown glasses, so you could see his face more clearly, and it was no doubt he was good-looking.
"It was this really important day at work that I couldn't miss. I was going to play the guitar on some weird guy's record, but anyway, I woke up an hour to late and I was so stressed I just forgot my bloody glasses. I mean, it didn't occur to me that I almost couldn't see. So I just ran, y'know 'cause I don't live so far from the studio, all the way. Well, not all the way 'cause suddenly I ran into something." He made a pause, took his glasses back on and looked at the smiling faces around him. He seemed to have catched even Axl's attention, but it turned out he was just searching for more food.
"Then I heard someone", he looked at Izzy, "screaming at me. He said 'fuck you, what d'ya think ya'r doin'?' and I just looked at him, wondering what the heck he wanted. Everything was bloody blurry and I just said 'bugger off, I've never done anythin' to you' but he kept screaming and then, I understood I was standing on somethin' 'cause I heard this little noise from down my feet. And when I realized that it was the tail of Izzy's dog I was like 'oh, bloody shite'."
Duff, Slash and Steven were stunned, they exchanged confused looks and then Slash opened his mouth so say something but he couldn't find the words. Axl giggled and said "bloody shite" repeatedly for himself. Steven sighed at the sight of his boyfriend, but turned his attention back at Terry. The first one to break the air was Duff, who confusingly scratched his chin.
"And eh.. after that you started to hang out?"
"Yeah, I mean when he said he'd forgotten his glasses and I could see in his cute eyes that he was tellin' the truth", Izzy said. "Well, at first I did this little test y'know, when ya'r holdin' a piece of paper with some fuckin' letters on it. But he said he could read, so when he didn't see those fuckin' letters I just let it be. I mean, it must be like fuckin' faith man".
Again, it was that awkward silence in the room. Izzy and Terry didn't understand why the gunners was so quiet and they didn't like it. The only thing that made a sound was Axl, whose knife and fork screeched against the plate.
After some more minutes, Slash cleared his throat and looked around at all the unsure faces.
"So... do ya guys wanna play a game or somethin'?"
Duff looked disappointed at his boyfriend. "Don't do that Slash, y'know I've been working hard with the food."
Slash gave him an ashamed look and turned to their guests. "Well.. y'know, time to eat I guess", he glanced at Axl. "Don't eat to much though.."
While they all started to take their food, Izzy came up with an idea. "Maybe we could play a game while we're eating, y'know like a word quiz or somethin'".
Everybody looked at Duff who nodded approvingly, and Izzy started to tell the rules. They were going to pass round, with everybody saying a word each.
"The one who starts will say like pie, and the next person has to start his word on e. Y'know since pie ends with an e and stuff".
"Eh, okey", Steven said. "Who'll start?". Since everybody were looking at him, he decided that Duff would start.
"Okey, this will be fun. I say.. eh.. bass."
"Sugar", Terry said.
"Boring as hell", Axl said and looked at Slash, waiting for him to continue. But the lead guitarist just looked at him, and you could tell he was getting annoyed. "Why d'ya have to do this your fuckin' weirdo? We're just trying to have a good time and ya just..". He was stopped by Duff who pulled him back. "Just ignore him Slash."
Slash did as Duff had said, and moved closer to him. He wasn't going to sit near Axl anymore.
"So, this is fun... Isn't it?"
Everybody looked at Duff and then down in their knees again. "Well, I'm enjoyin' it", Axl said.
Duff smiled, this was the first good thing that'd came out of the singers mouth, in like, the whole dinner. Terry looked at everybody's plates to make sure they were all done eating.
"Eh, fancy a coup of tea lads?"
Axl looked at him and laughed, "Ya know we're not in Great fuckin' Britain right?"
Izzy gave him an angry look. "Why d'ya have to do this? He's just tryin' to be nice y'know."
Even Duff had lost his patience, and when Duff lost his patience, you didn't want to be near him.
"Yeah, what's ya'r fuckin' problem Axl?" he rose and went around the table so that he could hit Axl in his face. Axl fell down on the floor, and looked as if he didn't have a clue of what just happened. "Why can't ya just be like a normal fuckin' person, ya'r fuckin' son of a bitch?! Y'know, Slash has really worked to get this workin'!"
Steven rose and took Duff around his waste as the bassist leaned down to hit Axl once more. "Take it easy, don't do that. He's just a bit weird..."
"Oh, ya say so? A bit weird, didn't notice that", Duff tried to get away from Steven, but a drummer's arms are strong.
Slash ran around the table to help his boyfriend, but before he came all the way Steven let go of Duff. "Eh, don't do anythin' stupid.. Guess I'm just takin' this motherfucker with me home..", he said and looked at Axl with disappointment in his voice and eyes. Axl rose and said he was ashamed, but nobody believed him.
When Duff and Slash came back to the table, after saying goodbye and good night to the trouble maker and his poor companion, Terry sat like a statue with Izzy next to him, trying to get his attention.
"Think he's in some kind of chock", the rhythm guitar said when he saw the other two. "Wasn't quite what he'd expected y'know.."
"No, that son of a bitch is fuckin' killin' me". Slash took a closer look at the Briton and sighed. "I just can't believe his fuckin' problem", he continued and scratched his head. "Hmm, I don't know anythin' 'bout this, man... eh, he doesn't seem to react..."
Izzy turned to Duff, but he didn't have a good answer either, so Izzy grabbed Terry's shoulders and started to shake him. Nothing happened.
Duff suggested that it might be a good idea to put him on the couch for a while, which the two guitarists agreed on. So they spent the next ten minutes worrying about Terry, who didn't even seem to be conscious. Duff and Slash were kind of busy with each other, which left Izzy sitting on a chair next to the couch, just looking at his boyfriend. If you took a quick glance, it might have looked as if tears were rolling down his cheek, but he was too bewildered to cry. He just couldn't believe what had happened. This wasn't what he would call a normal reaction on a couple dinner, that hadn't worked out well.
Then Terry suddenly woke up. He just sat up on the couch, rubbed his eyes and looked blankly at Izzy.
"Oh, bugger", he said when he understood what had happened. "Don't worry 'bout that love. Use to happen, really".
"Well, you fuckin' scared me man!"
"Didn't mean to"
"Ya did anyway y'know."
"Oh, he's awake now. So... how d'ya feel man?" Slash asked and let go of Duff, whose hair he'd plaited as a pigtail.
"I feel real good really, but I must say your bloody singer is a bit of a wanker."
"Yeah, he's a fuckin' asshole. Don't fuckin' know what sick thoughts that flows through his brain..."
"Well, I don't want to be rude or anything lads, but maybe it's time for us to go. Or what do you think honey?"
Izzy nodded. "Yeah, I'm kinda tired. See ya guys around."
"Goodnight then", Duff said before closing the door behind them.
When they were outside, Terry turned to his lover and gave him that little smile, which Izzy loved.
"I rather fancy a shag mate."
"Oh, ya'r sure 'bout that?"
"Very much indeed!"
"Well, let's go home and fuckin' do it then!"
And so Izzy and his British lover walked hand in hand, moving towards the night.
In the meantime, Slash and Duff were walking around in their apartment. Both of them felt as though the whole dinner thing had been a waste of their time.
"This fuckin' dinner thing was a total fuckin' waste of time, man!", as Slash put it.
"We got to hear some British accent, and you've made me a nice pigtale, babe. That's gotta count as something."
"Yeah, I love ya too."
"Well, that's nice. So what are we gonna do with all this fuckin' stuff?"
Slash looked at the table with all the plates and he sighed. "We can leave it there."
"Can't just fuckin' leave it, it will never be..." Slash moved closer and pushed his lips against Duff's. The taller answered the kiss and moaned into his lover's mouth. "Guess you're right man, let's just leave it there."
"Yeah, I know", Slash said while taking Duff's shirt of. "I'm always right and ya know it."
"Whatever man", Duff dragged Slash towards their bedroom. "Let's see if ya really did put all our fuckin' things under the bed".
"Axl's a fuckin' son of a bitch", Slash said and followed his lover into their bedroom, but with a complete different reason than looking after stuff. He was going to spend all night looking at Duff.
"But I'm not?"
"We'll see 'bout that."