Finally someone is finding out the truth. Well part of it anyway...
I did a line and quickly shoved the plastic baggy back into my suitcase. I felt someone coming up behind me. Alicia stood there looking blank.
"How has Gee been?"
"Haven't heard from him lately." I replied slightly becoming lightheaded. My nose stung a little but not so much. I was used to the sting by now.
"He doesn't talk as much."
"Why? Is it because of this?" She shoved past me and ripped the small bag from under my clothes.
"You're doing this again? Whats wrong with you? You're always drinking and getting high and you're taking more anti-depressants than your normal dose. What the hell is going on?"
"I want to be drunk and high. Its fun." I was lying. She knew I was lying. I was doing it because I was hoping to drink myself into a coma or possibly worse. I was with Jeremy. I "loved" him, or so I thought. Then every time I saw Gerard I'd run away and cry somewhere secluded where no one would hear me. I would take an extra sleeping pill some nights because I hoped I wouldn't have to wake up the next day. Wasn't all this supposed to be what I wanted?
"Fun? You just don't want to live in fucking reality! You're killing yourself. Don't you get it!?"
"Maybe that's what I want." She looked at me deeply. The madness fell from her face. she was completely blank; tears formed in her eyes.
"Maybe that's what I want...." I shoved her aside and walked off the bus. I heard loud music and people talking. Another party of course. I found the bus within milliseconds and ran to the alcohol. In the back awaited the substance that always did. My favourite thing in the world. It was better than sex, better than love, better than life.