Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Love Knows No Age
Taking On Ray - APRIL 25
13 ReviewsGerard and Christa discuss Ray, Bob and Kara discuss the future
Reviews
-
Love Knows No Age
(#) LoverlyOne 2007-04-25 05:09:17 PM
Ha, go Bob and Kara. XD
One thing you really need to watch out for, besides grammar and punctuation (honey, seriously, get a beta reader), is that you use the word 'yea' improperly. The word you're looking for is 'yeah', with an 'h' at the end. 'Yea' isn't even pronounced the same; it's pronounced like 'yay', as in 'Yea though I walk through the Valley of Death' and all that.
You have a truly wonderful story here. Just try to do something about your grammar and punctuation...and work a little more on Gerard's characterization. I understand that he and Monica are in love, and love changes people, but even before Jenn tried to run Monica and Ray down, he was acting WAY too 'sweet'. I've heard of what he was like when he had his old girlfriend, and while he was a complete sweetheart, I don't really think he threw words like 'honey' and 'sweetie' around so often. Convey his love for Monica with less pet names, and more affection written about in a narrative style. :)Author's response
Sorry about the grammar and punctuation problems today. I live in Kansas and the weather was turning nasty. Tornado warnings in the next county over so I wanted to get this posted before my Internet went out. I thought people would want to read it even if it wasn't perfect instead of waiting for who know how long if the Internet had gone. Sorry, about that. As for Gerard’s character all I can say is this is a fiction and I guess I write him how I would want him to be. -
Love Knows No Age
(#) LoverlyOne 2007-04-25 05:09:34 PM
Ha, go Bob and Kara. XD
One thing you really need to watch out for, besides grammar and punctuation (honey, seriously, get a beta reader), is that you use the word 'yea' improperly. The word you're looking for is 'yeah', with an 'h' at the end. 'Yea' isn't even pronounced the same; it's pronounced like 'yay', as in 'Yea though I walk through the Valley of Death' and all that.
You have a truly wonderful story here. Just try to do something about your grammar and punctuation...and work a little more on Gerard's characterization. I understand that he and Monica are in love, and love changes people, but even before Jenn tried to run Monica and Ray down, he was acting WAY too 'sweet'. I've heard of what he was like when he had his old girlfriend, and while he was a complete sweetheart, I don't really think he threw words like 'honey' and 'sweetie' around so often. Convey his love for Monica with less pet names, and more affection written about in a narrative style. :) -
Love Knows No Age
(#) lady_venom_x 2007-04-25 06:19:38 PM
Your grammar was quite off today. So, like the other person said, work on that =) It's hard to get it perfect, though. No one has perfect grammar. Not even me :P
Anyway, Ray better smarten the hell up! We'll have to kick him. Hahaha.
EEEEEE I'm jealous of Kara. I want to marry Bob! XD I love Bob.
This chapter was really good. =) -
Love Knows No Age
(#) COMBUSTIONXX 2007-04-25 06:44:19 PM
Okay im a bit confused? So is Kara still i virgin? i know she is Bobs Fiance and all but im not sure by that last refrence. Stupid question i guess.Author's response
.Nope she's not; remember when she thought she was pregnant? They last reference was that they were going to spend sometime together doing 'Lord Knows What' before she had to be home -
Love Knows No Age
(#) crys_within_816 2007-04-25 07:45:03 PM
christa is becoming part of the family! yay!! haha i can't wait for the next chapter!!!
eww what are they gona do in the hour.. sickos -
Love Knows No Age
(#) Caitydidsworld 2007-04-25 08:25:04 PM
I think I have a new job for my voodoo doll. What's with the pissy reviews? Isn't this fan fiction, not pulitzer prize winning fiction???? Alexsandee can make Gerard any way she wants him. Soft and cuddly or hard and ugly. It's her decision. So what if there are mistakes in the story? Just roll with it. Try to enjoy it for what it is - an expression of someone's very hard work and love for a great group of guys. The amount of research and effort that she has expended on this story is phenominal and more than any other 10 writers on the site.
So, she's not perfect. Who among us is? Let she(or he) who is without mistakes toss the first eraser (stone).
Let's all lighten up.
Of course you are entitled to your opinions and feel free to express them at any time. Just as I am expressing mine.
(And I like Gerard soft and squishy!) -
Love Knows No Age
(#) Reign_Madden 2007-04-26 03:52:53 AM
They can do the down and dirty!! or Bob can help Kara with her homework lol both could take up an hour.
That was great and just for the record I like Gerard when he's sweet, even though he wasn't all that sweet in past chapters, I think you have the right balance. Not only that but when something dramatic happens you tend to use terms of endearment alot more then usual and I reckon that's what FICTIONAL Gerard is doing.
I'm glad Christa's staying she belongs with Ray 100%
Let she(or he) who is without mistakes toss the first eraser (stone). That is some profound yet funny shit go caitydidsworld that rocked lol -
Love Knows No Age
(#) PencilPonce 2007-04-26 07:46:55 AM
I like Gerard's character. He needs a great big hug (from me perhaps? XD). Love it.