My heart shattered into a million pieces inside my chest. A lump grew in my throat and I became weak all over.
"No," I whispered hoarsely. "No." That was the only word I seemed to be able to get out.
"I'm sorry Ryan," Brendon said. He moved closer to me, reaching out to wrap his arms around my shoulders in an attempt to comfort me. I flinched away, trying to fight back tears.
"Ryan, you're young, we're young. You don't know what you're saying." Brendon said in that 'you-know-I'm-right' voice. Well that voice was bullshit at this moment because I did know what I was saying. I was saying I loved him.
"Ryan, would you listen and stop being so childish. I don't love you, you don't love me. We're just friends, okay?" Brendon said his voice hinted with annoyance. "I mean, for fucks sake. What would the guys think, what would my parents think, what would the fans think?" He added running a hand through his black hair. He suddenly burst into laughter like it was the funniest thing in the world. Like my feelings were a joke.
"Ryan, I think you need councilling or a night on the town. You've been away from girls way too long and hey, I'm no girl. Thats just insulting." He started to ramble. Now it felt like someone, just for fun, had to go crush the millions of pieces of my heart into the dirt. I couldn't control my tears, they began to spill down my cheeks but he just kept rambling.
"Bitch." I said. He stopped rambling and looked at me.
"I'm sure that I l-love you and you find it funny. You think this is one big joke." I said trying to stop my voice from trembling.
"Ryan," Brendon began bored with this conversation. I cut him off.
"Even if you were my friend, you wouldn't make fun of my feelings like that!" I shouted. "You know how long it took me to just get enough courage to tell you?! You know I would lie in bed at night, just wondering, what the fuck is wrong with me? I'm in love with you and I can't help it. I wish I could, I really wish I could because you Brendon Urie are not worth it. You are not worth it." He looked taken aback as he sat on the sofa. I got up quickly, wiping the tears from my face and ran for the door.
"Ryan," He said softly getting up from the couch. "I'm sorry." I turned and smiled.
"Well I'm sorry too Urie." I said.
"I'm sorry I ever told you. I'm sorry I ever believed we could be more. I'm sorry you will probably be the only person I've truly ever loved with all my heart and I'm sorry that sorry's just a word and it can't fix this."