- Vivid imagery in this chapter... very lovely. You write Baralai's anger very well -- incredibly well. The subtle descriptions of hair or tears are very good add-ins to the paragraphs, making your story come vividly alive for your readers.
It's an odd pairing, yes, but the way you write it is workable. Baralai's optimism is what does it... put that against Isaaru's pilgrimage, his walk toward death, and you have a very, very interesting process.
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