"Mr Padfoot, the marauder that he is, decided to pull a most disagreeable prank on Mr Moony. Mr Moony, unfortunately, was not amused with Mr Padfoot's antics and has consequently said so."
"Mr Padfoot would like to inform that Mr Moony acts too old for his age and that he should learn to have a sense of humour"
"Mr Moony would like to notify Mr Padfoot that Mr Moony is not old and Mr Padfoot should keep such disagreeable comments to himself if he has nothing nice to say."
"Mr Padfoot would like to comment that what Mr Moony had just said proves that he needs to lighten up!"
"Mr Moony would like to announce that he does not need to lighten up as he has got a sense of humour, and would like to inform that Mr Padfoot is an adult and should act like one"
"Mr Padfoot would like to inform that Mr Moony is a hypocrite as he is also and adult and should not act like an old fart"
"Mr Moony would like to comment that he is deeply insulted by Mr Padfoot's remark and would like to advice that is Mr Padfoot likes his face the way it is then he should refrain from commenting on Mr Moony's age."
"Mr Padfoot would like to inform that he does like his face as he believes it if very handsome, thank you very much. Mr Padfoot would also like to comment that his face is much more agreeable to the eye than that of Mr Mooney as Mr Padfoot does not have wrinkles and grey hair!"
. . .
"Mr Padfoot would like to enquire as to why Mr Moony has now in his possession a frying pan in his hand"
"Mr Moony is deeply insulted by M Padfoot's comments and would like to inform that in the near future this frying pan will connect with Mr Padfoot's head to the satisfaction of Mr Moony"