"It'll never fit there!" Written for Chrislea/spiderlove.
by Mina Lightstar
From his seat on the hotel room's floor near the couch, Leorio raised his eyebrows. He had expected hesitation, questioning, even perhaps a little fear. He had not anticipated the answer to come in the form of a stark refusal.
"But," he began, never one to abandon his course so quickly, "why not? I mean, we're far enough along, aren't we?" At least, Leorio hoped they were far enough along. Everyone knew they'd been dragging the damned thing out much longer than necessary.
"You thought we were far enough along the moment after you kissed me," Kurapika retorted dryly. He blinked, suddenly lost in thought. "Or did I kiss you? I don't quite recall."
"No, you kissed me after you decked me for kissing you." The issue at hand was momentarily forgotten as Leorio reminisced about the day he'd finally made his move. "Good thing, too. I was beginning to wonder if that was how you planned to show affection."
"You snuck up on me."
"No choice." Leorio grinned up at the blonde. "The only way to prod you into taking anything further is to catch you unawares." He paused for effect and then added, "You took it rather well, actually."
"Leorio, I punched you."
"Yes, you took it better than I thought you would." Leorio's technique had, if anything, improved over the weeks. Countless amorous assaults and he had received only two punches in response: one for the kiss that had started it all, and for the time he'd slipped his hand up Kurapika's shirt -- though admittedly, the second had been reflex more than anything. Or so Kurapika had claimed.
"Well, I'm just glad you chose not to sneak this one on me," Kurapika muttered, looking at his open book in such a way that Leorio knew he wasn't actually reading it.
"I would never!" Leorio cried, aghast, despite the fact that the thought had crossed his mind more than once. It would be simple, really: a surprise appearance in the shower, and -- whoops. He'd gotten sidetracked. "I was planning some sweet, elaborate seduction--" actually, Senritsu had been planning that, "--but figured that it might not go over well without proper preparation. So I asked."
"So you did. And I said no." Kurapika's tone was resolute.
They would have to work on this. "But why? Or am I mistaken about this relationship? If I am, then you're a strange one; most people engage in casual sex for, you know, sex."
Instead of answering, Kurapika asked a question of his own. "Why this all of a sudden?"
"Well, for one, it's not all of a sudden. We've been together for weeks. Second," he almost stumbled before continuing, as it was hard to say it without blushing, "I want you, and third... ah, well, I want to wake up beside you?" He managed to make the last reason sound a little less lame, but not by much. Still, it went over better than what had almost come out in its stead. The other reason for Leorio's sudden (stronger) desire to bed the Kuruta was, quite frankly, the fact that no one would leave him alone.
The only thing worse than the fact that he hadn't had sex with Kurapika yet was that everyone seemed to know it. It was damn embarrassing. Whenever he saw any of their friends alone, a mention of his relationship with Kurapika was never absent from the conversation. Gon asked if he'd learned the right mating dance, the truly odd part being that the boy seemed serious; Killua claimed Kurapika was psychic and knew Leorio would be bad; Senritsu remarked that if Leorio was waiting for Kurapika to make the first move, he would wait a long time.
So, in the end, there had been only one solution: they had to do it, and they had to do it soon. There was only so much satisfaction masturbation could give, and besides which, Leorio was of the personal opinion that a tumble would do Kurapika a world of good.
"You already wake up beside me," Kurapika pointed out, looking a touch uncomfortable. "We sleep in the same room all the time."
Leorio wanted to groan, mostly because he knew that Kurapika knew that Leorio had meant something else -- and that the Kuruta was pointing out technicalities to avoid the real issue at hand. "You know what I mean!"
Kurapika sighed, set his book aside, and Leorio took the action as an invitation. He leapt up onto the couch and pressed closer so that their legs met.
"I know what you mean," Kurapika began, "but what I don't know is exactly what you want to do."
"Do I have to spell it out for you?" Leorio had a long list of things he would like to do. The only reason he hadn't acted on any of them was because Kurapika always seemed to sense where his kisses and touches were going, and put a stop to things before they got too far.
Kurapika pretended to consider it. "Hmm... no. No, I don't think you do. My answer still stands, though, for the moment."
"You're a lousy lover," Leorio grumbled, wondering why he just didn't forget Kurapika and move on to someone else -- preferably easier. But even as the thought crossed his mind, the answer came to him. He liked Kurapika enough to make the wait worth it. At least... it had better be worth it.
"How would you know if I'm lousy or not?"
"That's just it: I don't! So, let me try you, and then I'll decide."
"What are you scared of?" Leorio asked, genuinely curious. "I mean, you know it won't hurt, don't you?"
"I knew it," Kurapika spat irritably, hands making a helpless gesture as he slid away from Leorio.
Leorio blinked. His leg felt cold now that Kurapika's wasn't pressed up against it. "Knew what?"
"I knew you'd pull the alpha male act." The blonde picked up his book again. "You're not the only male here, remember?"
"...I'm not sure I follow."
The book was tossed carelessly aside once again and Kurapika twisted on the couch to face him. "Let's say, hypothetically, that I agree to, ah, take things further at this point in time. What would happen?"
Leorio thought about it. "Well, actually, I did sorta have a, er, seduction planned. So I'd, uh, probably follow through with that. After getting Gon and Killua to promise to be somewhere else all night, of course. And then I'd--"
Kurapika made a sharp gesture. "Don't spoil it for me! Just tell me what happens when we finally get to the bedroom."
Oh, that was hard. Leorio tried, though, briefly outlining what he wanted to do, to try, and eventually, how he wanted to lay Kurapika back against the pillow and... that was as far as he got before Kurapika bade him to stop.
"I knew it. Ever since we started this relationship, I knew you'd automatically fall into this role."
"What, alpha male?"
There was a moment of silence as Leorio digested this, and then it all came together. Try as he might, he couldn't stop the short spurt of laughter, nor could he keep the affectionate grin from his face. "Oh, my god, you're put out because you were going to be bottom!" At Kurapika's chagrined expression, Leorio threw his head back and laughed again. At first, it didn't really register that if Kurapika didn't want to be bottom, it meant that he wanted to be top.
"You would be, too," Kurapika bit back. "You're bigger than I am!"
Leorio grinned. "Ah, so you admit it!"
"I didn't mean -- oh, forget it." Kurapika shook his head.
"But this is just rich. I can't believe you're stalling just because you didn't want to be on the bottom." Leorio choked down another laugh.
"You'd stall, too!" His eyes flicked briefly lower. "It'll never fit there!"
"I think you're overreacting," Leorio replied with a frown. "I mean, you're anything but stupid; you have to know that it's done all the time and no guy is ever split open. If you're, uh, careful. Which I will be."
"Assuming that kind of thing!" Kurapika folded his arms and glared. "Where's it written down that," he had to force the word out, "penetration is the pinnacle of all sexual activity?"
Leorio grinned sheepishly. "Well, if you just want to do other things for a while, I'm all right with that." Honesty was a key in any relationship, though, so he had to add, "But I really want to do the penetration thing. I mean, I guess not right away, but I... I do."
"You be bottom, then," Kurapika muttered, still uncertain if he wanted to go that route or not.
"Who says it has to be decided beforehand?" Leorio mused. "I mean, why can't we tussle for top? Winner takes all? Who knows, maybe you'll like being bottom every now and then." He grinned broadly. "Maybe I will!"
Kurapika blinked, considering it. "I suppose," he said at last.
Leorio, who was already making sure he still had lubricant in his pocket, started moving closer. "So, can we try it now?"
Kurapika's gaze flickered to his discarded book. "Well -- ack!"
And the couch was put to good use.