Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Master of the Game.

Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

by ClandestineUnited 3 reviews

Pete's contemplating his own future, while Patrick comes face to face with his past.

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama - Published: 2007-06-01 - Updated: 2007-06-01 - 1719 words

0Unrated
Patrick's laugh sounded throughout the room.
"You're kidding, right?"
"No," Christina said softly, standing up. She walked over to him slowly, and he backed away until he was pressed up against the walk in closet door, the door handle digging into his back.
"I think we ended something really special." She continued, advancing on him, closer. He ducked out of her way and turned to face her.
"No, I think you forgot, you ended something really special. And the only reason you're coming onto me is because you're upset."
"No, it's because I love you."
"Oh really?" Patrick asked, sarcastically. "Then where was all this when I needed to hear it four months ago? When I pushed my friends out and stopped telling them how I felt because you crushed me. When I cried myself to sleep every single night, lying alone in Pete's room, praying he wouldn't hear me. Tell me, did you cry over us at all? I mean, asides from tears of happiness that I was finally out of your life."
A short silence followed, and Patrick nodded triumphantly.
"Not once, I'll bet. I'm sick to death of whining, Christina. I've bored absolutely everyone about how much I miss you and how scared I am, but now, I don't miss you. And it's not because you're here. No, it's because I don't miss your rejection, your snappy remarks at me, your constant put downs of how I look compared to you, and sick of the lack of independence you have. Fifty dollars says you only cried over me when I left on tour because you wouldn't have anyone beside you looking stupid, so you could look good. And now the only reason you're doing this is because Danny left. And you need me to make you feel good."
He paused to take a breath, and carried on.
"I won't let you walk all over me. I'm not going to let you make me fall in love with you again. I've been trying, and I'm not going to give up. 'Cause I'm a fighter, and you... you're just shallow. You're too conceited to see how bad you've always made me feel. Like I never deserved you. Maybe I didn't, I'll never know. But know I'm feeling betrayed because I'm thinking the only reason you were with me in the first place was because I made you feel like a Princess. I know I did, because I adored you. But things are changing now, Christina. I'm gonna be a dad, and in that I've got to learn to stand up to people. If I let you walk all over me like a doormat, my kids will too. And I won't allow that. So from now on, if you want to stay and let me look after you - you quit messing me around and never try it on with me again. If you still think I'm gonna give in and let you kiss me and attempt to get me in bed, then you're severely wrong. Especially when my kids are right in there." He said, breathing heavily. He moved closer to her.
"You understand me?"
Christina nodded and Patrick did too.
"Good." He turned away and opened the door.
"You should get some rest. You'll need it in the long run." He said, turning round.
With that, he left and went into his own bedroom, entering his bathroom and looking at himself in the mirror. He felt strange, he wasn't angry, wasn't depressed. It was the first time he'd felt free in a long time.
"Stood your ground." He nodded at himself in the mirror. "About freakin' time."
That night he slept, without waking, and without dreaming. He'd fallen asleep feeling a lot better that he'd put his foot down, kept his temper and told Christina exactly how he felt. He knew she would never love him the way she once had. Now he'd told her how he'd felt, he had the feeling it would be a lot easier to get on with getting over her.

"Jennnn?" Pete growled that night, poking his head around the bedroom door.
"Peterrrrr." She growled back from the bed, without looking up. She was sitting reading, looking very elegant, her dark brown hair tied up, and wearing her glasses as she read her book.
"You want to read your book over getting with /this/?" Pete asked, crawling along the bed in his boxers. Jenny looked up, teasing him subtly.
"Well, it is an exciting chapter." She replied, as he nibbled her neck. He stopped and sank onto his side of the bed.
"OK." He mumbled, turning over. Jenny laughed and threw her book away.
"But this is a lot more exciting!" She dived under the covers and Pete grinned and joined her, the only sound was the rustle of the covers and their giggling ringing throughout the room.

"That was fun." Pete said as they lay back in the bed a while later.
"It was more than fun." Jenny said, running her hands through his hair. "Alright, I have to go sleep now. I have to get up for work, unlike you."
"So you have to leave earlier?"
"Yep. Sorry baby but I'd never get there before the rush hour if I didn't leave early."
"But you always have to leave early." Pete pouted. "And I miss you."
"I miss you too, honey, but I have to keep my job to get paid. So that just means we'll have to cut the hours down in the morning, alright?"
Pete sighed.
"Unless..." He trailed off, shaking his head. She won't.
"What?" Jenny asked, leaning on her elbow to watch him.
"No, forget it." He said, shaking his head and grinning. "It doesn't matter."
"Come on Pete, everything you say matters."
That's why I love her.
"OK, you can say no, but if you do, please, please don't freak out or anything, alright?"
"Sure." Jenny said.
"If we moved in together, we wouldn't have to cut out morning time." Pete said warily. Jenny looked emotionless for a few seconds.
"I would love to wake up with you every single morning. Seriously. Apart from when you're away, obviously. I would love it. Seriously."
"Really?"
"No, I just said 'seriously' twice for the hell of it." Jenny replied with a wink. "I mean it."
"Wow! That's so amazing! I love you."
"I love you too."
This time, they disappeared under the covers, but this time, the rustle of the covers was replaced with the sound of their lips kissing, and the giggling was swapped for the low pleasured moans as they expressed each other's gratitude to one another...


"Hey, so, I was thinking we could put an announcement on the website or something." Pete said, looking up from his laptop as Patrick sat down heavily on the opposite couch the next day.
"About what? That you're moving in with Jen?"
"No! About you, you know? Your /kids/?"
"Oh, right. You mean my kids that have a fifty percent chance of being mine."
"Dude, seriously, don't start that shit up again. You said yourself you'd wait until they're born to get a DNA test. Until then you 'love them no matter what'," he used finger quotes, rolling his eyes. Patrick shrugged and pulled a magazine towards him.
"So?"
"So what?"
"Argh!" Pete groaned, throwing his head back. "About your kids!"
"Oh, right. Um, do they really need to know?"
"Patrick, these kids, are our kids too. They deserve to know."
"Fine, as long as I don't get hate mail or bitched at."
"I seriously doubt it. So what do you wanna write?"
Patrick shrugged again.
"I don't know, I'm not good at writing stuff. You think of something. Within reason." He added, as Pete grinned mischievously , wiggling his fingers above the keyboard.
"I will, I will." He said, typing away as Patrick turned the page of his magazine.
"How about this?" Pete asked, twenty minutes later, waving Patrick over.
Patrick is delighted to announce that he is soon to be a father. We hope you will all join us in wishing Patrick the very best in this new adventure he embarks upon. Everyone here at falloutboyrock sends their best wishes to this special father-to-be, and we're all keen to see the first Fall Out Boy baby! Patrick would like to thank everyone who has expressed their thoughts and congratulations to him, and supported him during this time.
"Fall Out Boy /baby/?" Patrick asked. "There's two, Pete."
"Yes, but just the thought of you being a father is enough news for them for one day, don't you think?"
"I guess so. Thanks."

"Look, the boards are in uproar/." Pete laughed, "It's taking like ten minutes to load one thread. And get this; /there are 1097 users on this board at this time. That's just the registered ones! That's not even counting the lurkers!"
"I'm glad to see everyone's in uproar over my personal life." Patrick said, with a pause. "Are they saying good or bad stuff?"
"Mostly good." Pete replied, "There's a lot of congratulations threads, and most of them say they're very happy and wish you all the best. But the others, they're the usual, you know. Teenies and stuff. 'Like oh my God! Patrick's soooooo mine, he totes can't have a baby unless I'm the mother!', it's kinda sad, really."
Patrick chuckled and sat back down. Pete turned around and looked at him.
"You look tired."
"I am."
"How many..." Pete was cut off by the door.
"Two seconds." He said to Patrick, before leaving the room.
"Uh, Patrick? There's some guy there for you..."
"For me?"
"Yeah. Big macho guy. Maybe they want to film you for a movie."
"Yeah, you wish Pete." Patrick said, getting up and going to the door. He was faced with a man, much taller than himself, wearing a tight T-Shirt to accent his muscles, and also wearing a grin. One that made Patrick feel uneasy.
The man held out his hand, that looked like it was about ten times bigger than Patrick's, and could easily crush him with one prod.
"Hi, Patrick, right?"
"Yeah..." Patrick said, shaking his hand warily. "And you are?"
"Oh, sorry. My name's Danny."

Wow! I'm almost as desperate for the next chapter as you guys are!
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