Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Brother Z

The August Offering

by DrT 3 Reviews

The Final Battle is over. Harry has left Britain, leaving a devastated magical community, a lost Hermione, and a blinded Luna. Hermione becomes Professor McGonagall's apprentice while she cares f...

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: R - Genres: Drama - Characters: Flitwick, Harry, Hermione, Luna, Snape - Warnings: [!!] - Published: 2007/06/10 - Updated: 2007/06/10 - 3165 words

Reviews

  • Brother Z

    (#) jbstarnes1 2007-06-11 10:23:02 AM

    ""There had better not be any 'traumas'," Z growled, sending a frisson of fear through them.

    "Feeling a little protective, are we?" Remus teased.

    Z glowered, and that sent a wave of power through them which made them shiver. "Remus," Z asked coldly"

    That seems remarkably thin skinned and non-civil, especially from the person who has been lecturing on the inherent problem of Snape. He seems to have implicitly threatened a colleague with violence for mocking him. And it comes off, not just in this story but in others as well, as an approved way to behave, for the main character. He's the strongest and the 'hero' so it's allowable for him to do whatever he wants. Certainly no one ever seems to remonstrate the main character for behaving that way, while he spends a great deal of time explaining others personal faults to them.
  • Brother Z

    (#) jbstarnes1 2007-06-11 10:27:44 AM

    ""There had better not be any 'traumas'," Z growled, sending a frisson of fear through them.

    "Feeling a little protective, are we?" Remus teased.

    Z glowered, and that sent a wave of power through them which made them shiver. "Remus," Z asked coldly"

    That seems remarkably thin skinned and non-civil, especially from the person who has been lecturing on the inherent problem of Snape. He seems to have implicitly threatened a colleague with violence for mocking him. And it comes off, not just in this story but in others as well, as an approved way to behave, for the main character. He's the strongest and the 'hero' so it's allowable for him to do whatever he wants. Certainly no one ever seems to remonstrate the main character for behaving that way, while he spends a great deal of time explaining others personal faults to them.
  • Brother Z

    (#) Anaknisatanas 2007-06-11 05:31:27 PM

    This is a great story, Z is such an interesting character. I enjoyed Snape's talk with Flitwick and also thought it was neat how you added that bit about his heritage. I look forward to the next update.
  • Brother Z

    (#) BJH 2007-06-11 05:34:16 PM

    OK, let's see if Ficwad will allow me to finally review.

    This chapter covered a lot of ground. You started off with Severus taking the first steps towards his own redemption, tentative though they were. You've also set up,through Z/Harry a means for him to have the isolation he would require for self-analysis. I was at first put off by his choosing Flitwick as a soundling board intil I thought for a moment and couldn't find someone better or less threatening. Snape doesn't react well to threats, he would become too defensive to see past it to himself. I am thinking that the big breakdown that Severus would likely need before reallizing he needs to leave will come at the hands of Luna. I can see Snape pinning her down and attempting to gouge out her new eyes in a fit of guilt induced rage because he can't deal with her seeing him as he is and for what he has done. You could have Z or Hermione, or even McGonagall break this up but I think that all it will take is for Luna to say that regardless of whether or not she has eyes, she will still see him for what he is.

    I'm glad that Luna can see again, although a brown-eyed Luna is hard to deal with. You are setting up a believable relationship between the three of them.

    Then you have the August Offering that you bring up here. We have Z freely admitting that he got involved in the war while Harry was alive. The question is was it Z already or was it Harry? Meaning, did Harry learn of this event in his original time line and come back in time to see if he could stop Voldemort here and therefore save his parents, only to be disgusted with himself, run away and become Z. Or had he already evolved into Brother Z and take on this mission realizing that he had to allow himself to be abused by the Dursleys, not to mention allow his parents to die, in order to defeat Voldemort ultimately?

    BJH
  • Brother Z

    (#) Geovanni_Luciano 2007-06-13 05:29:41 PM

    This has been an interesting idea and I look forward to what you plan to do with it. I'm currently pursuing a story similar to one of your time travel's with a twist and so far it's rather fun, while still working on the others when I get motivation.

    Update Soon!

    Geovanni Luciano
  • Brother Z

    (#) DavidMPotter 2007-06-13 05:43:18 PM

    What a brilliant chapter for an awesome story. I can't wait until Christmas.
  • Brother Z

    (#) TxA_GunFighter 2007-09-11 10:24:40 PM

    Outstanding chapter.

    gunny

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