I stared up at the completely dark ceiling. The moon was hidden behind the rain clouds I had seen earlier. It was raining very steadily now, but I could just barely feel the vibrations in the room. I was becoming more attuned to vibration; in fact, all of my senses seemed to be sharper, save the one. I had heard of this before, where one of your senses fails and the rest become stronger as if to make up for it.
This thought made me want to cry all over again. I knew that nothing would ever make up for my lack of hearing, no matter what. There would be no turning back now; I could never go back in time and fix whatever it was that had caused this. I rolled over and stared out the dark window.
'If only we could just fly out of here,' I thought sadly. 'Get away from everything.' I wanted to go outside so badly. I had to make sure I could still feel the rain. I wasn't sure of anything anymore.
A few rhythmic vibrations interrupted my train of thought. I tore my gaze from the window and cautiously looked back over my shoulder. Gerard was quietly knocking one hand against the wall, staring at me. I assumed he was trying to get my attention.
"What is it?" I asked without thinking. He just smiled and closed his eyes, going back to sleep. I smiled back. Maybe we could get out of this after all. I looked back up at the ceiling, trying to find patterns among the swirling darkness. Naturally I saw nothing, but for some reason I couldn't look away. I couldn't speak at all...I couldn't even think straight. I was frozen in place, unable to move or get out of this situation.
I shivered slightly, suddenly becoming cold. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to move.
I stood up, going against my better judgment, and walked out of the room. I knew Gerard wouldn't be happy that I had left, but I couldn't stand it anymore. I had been in one place for too long; it went against my nature. I was used to constant movement, constant change. Silently sitting and waiting was not something that appealed to me.
I managed to find my way down the hallways, cringing slightly under the glare of the fluorescent lights. I don't know if anyone tried to stop me because I couldn't hear anything. It didn't matter to me, though. I wouldn't be out there for long. I just wanted to see the rain. I felt so empty...almost dead. I needed this more than anyone would understand.
Maybe I could even learn to fly. I had nothing to lose, after all.
I walked through the glass doors at the front of the hospital. I waited under the shelter of the overhanging roof for a moment, watching the water fall, before I stepped into it.
It was glorious. I had never been so happy to be caught in the rain. I smiled and looked up at the cloud-laden sky. My vision was blurred by raindrops that stung my eyes, but I didn't care. I felt my mind floating off into space, as if I were being lifted off the ground and carried into the icy winds.
I felt like I was flying. I could just picture my shadow falling across the lead gray clouds, darker than the world below me. Nothing could hurt me anymore. I was free. Nothing could compare to how I felt, staring up at the rain and blinking to clear my eyes. The edges of my vision blurred as the water droplets glued themselves to my eyelashes, but it didn't matter because I was free.
A firm hand gripped my shoulder and spun me around. The black-haired person stared at me as if I had lost my mind. Maybe I had.
Gerard embraced me, and I felt hot tears sliding down from my eyes, mixing with the cold water that had thoroughly soaked through me. I felt weak for crying, but it helped knowing he was there. I wasn't so alone after all.