Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > If it looks like I'm laughing, I'm just asking to leave.1 Reviews
We walked down the stairs in the Fulton's house and turned into the living room. There on the couch were Meg and Matt making out. I coughed. I wasn't fazed by it. Who cares, but they shot apart in a second and looked up to see us standing there.
"Awkward." Matt said.
"Just a bit." Ryan said.
Meg turned bright red.
"Hey we match!!" I said pointing to Matt. We were both wearing black beaters. Since everyone knew about the cutting now, I had no reason to hide it. I still had a hoodie with me just in case though.
"Yeah, its just because I forgot my tee shirt this morning." Matt replied.
"How do you do that?" I asked.
"Dunno." He shrugged.
"Anyways. We're off to the concert. Does Mom care if I'm home late?" I asked Meg.
"ummmm. I dunno. Not like you're gonna come home on time even if I tell you to come home at a certain time." Meg said.
"You might not even come home." Ryan whispered in my ear for only me to hear and drew his fingertips lightly up my arm.
My breath caught. "Ok, well I'm going to say bye to Lane. Soo go back to what you were doing. Bye!" I turned and walked quickly away dragging Ryan by the wrist.
When we turned the corner I turned to face him and pushed him against the wall. "Don't do that!"
"Why not?" He said with a smirk.
"Because it makes me want to do this." I said as I attacked his lips with mine.
"And that's going to make me not do that?" He said when we pulled apart.
I let go of him and walked to Lane's room. I knocked "I'm coming in but I'm giving you a second to act like you're not doing anything wrong." I paused. "ok." And I pushed open the door to find Will on Lane's laptop and Lane reading a book...upside down.
"So hows the book?" I said to Lane
"Good. Good." She said nodding
"You have a lot of talent to be able to read a book upside down." I chuckled.
"Damnit! And I thought we were in the clear." Lane said throwing down the book and turning red.
"Anyways." I said looking over at Will who was grinning at the pointless effort. "We're leaving for the concert. I dunno when I'll be back. I'll call you later. Bye!" I said turning to leave and leading Ryan out of the house, passing Matt and Meg making out...again.
We flagged down a cab and it drove us to the venue. We got out and headed in.
The concert in general had gone really well. They boys performed amazingly and the other bands did as well. I also got to hang out with the TAI boys more which was bunches of hilarious times. Soon the concert was over and everybody had showered and changed and looked at least semi- normal. We headed back to the tour bus. Ryan and I headed back to the bunks while Brendon, Jon and Spencer stayed up front and watched a movie. Cars by the sound of it.
I climbed into Ryan's bunk first and he came in after me. He laid down and I cuddled up next to him.
"You smell good." I said after a short period of silence.
"Well, I did just shower, so that's good to know." He replied smiling.
We just sat there. In his bunk. Enjoying each other's company. Then I realized I wont have his company tomorrow night. I started to breath irregularly.
"Nick, Whats wrong?" Ryan looked down at me.
"You're leaving. Tomorrow. You're leaving."
He sighed. "Shit. I totally forgot. I don't want to go."
"What are we going to do?"
"We can make it work. I'm going to call you everyday and when I get breaks I'll come visit you and...Hell, Nicky, why don't you just come on tour with us?"
"Excuse me?" I stopped breathing. What did he just say?
"I said will you come on tour with me?"
"I- I-I don't know."
"You don't really have a place to live right now anyways and I don't know if I can stand being apart from you." He said as he brushed the hair out of my face and just played with random strands, twisting them around his fingers.
"Ryan. I- I can't."
He sat up. "Why not?"
I sat up with him and sat opposite of him. "I'm still in high school. My friends are here. There are so many reasons."
"If we love each other why does that stuff matter? It would work itself out. You can come along."
"No." I shook my head. "I can't. Look. Can we just spend our last hours together for a while. Just here. Us. While we still can?" I asked quietly.
I want to go. I really do. There are just so many complications. Hes a rock star. I'm not. I'm in high school, my senior year and my life is a mess. I can't leave, not now.
I held onto him. I wanted to remember what he felt like, what he smelled like. I didn't know when I would see him again and that hurt me the most.
"I love you, Nicky."
"I love you too Ryan." I breathed as I fell asleep.
"Are you sure you can't stay for one more day?"
"Yeah. We have a show tomorrow night in Michigan." He paused to brush the hair out of my face. "Are you sure you can't come on tour with us?"
I nodded looking down. "Believe me I want to. I just...can't."
"Okay." He pulled me into his arms in a tight embrace. "I'll call you as often as I can."
I nodded slowly. My eyes pooling.
"Hey, hey. It'll be ok. We'll be together again I promise. I want you to wait for me. I love you." He said picking up my chin so I was looking into his honey eyes. A tear escaped and fell down my cheek.
"I will. I promise. Come back to me. I love you too." I kissed him. I hated saying good bye to people and especially to people I love. I was hoping and praying that it would work.
The horn to the bus honked. He sighed. "That's my cue. I'll call you."
"Ok. I'll miss you." I kissed him and hugged him again trying my best to hold back the tears as well as I could.
"I'll miss you too." And with that he walked on to the bus and it drove away. Leaving me standing there in front of Meg's house, broken.
Don't worry its not over. This is just super depressing because that's how I've been feeling lately. I'm having some serious problems with getting inspiration for this story. I'm trying to make it unique, but god. Its so hard to write when you just start. But this is not the end. Theres going to be a lot more. I already know some and I've started it. Just give me some time loves. The next chapter will be up in couple days.