I dreamt of him, of course, this dream, wasn't of him and me together, however. I was watching him get married. I was standing right next to him up by the altar, watching him with her.
I could tell I was crying, though I did nothing to wipe away the tears. No one asked, because a lot of people cried at weddings, right?
I watched as they said their vows and kissed, sealing their lives together. I saw Die look over and smile at me.
I smiled as strongly as I could back at him, and I finally moved to wipe the tears away.
He walked over and began shaking me roughly, "Die... what're you doing?"
He only kept on smiling.
"Die..., stop it."
"Die, stop, that hurts," I tried to push him away.
"Shinya..." I heard Kaoru's voice instead of his.
I rubbed my eyes again and saw Kaoru leaning over me.
"Shinya... are you alright?" He asked softly.
"You were crying and whimpering... are you sure you're alright?"
I looked away, "I'm fine... that's for being so concerned."
"Well, I made some breakfast, if you'd like some." He offered his hand to help me stand up.
I took the hand and slowly shuffled out to the kitchen where a small breakfast was lying out on the table.
"I can't cook very well... but I think it should taste alright."
"I'm sure it'll be fine," I smiled faintly.
We sat and began to eat silently.
I looked up, "Hmm?"
"What were you dreaming about?"
"Couldn't you tell?" I asked softly, taking another bite of the food that Kaoru had prepared.
"Was it Die?"
I nodded slightly and continued eating. "Why do you want to know?"
"Have you told him 'how you feel'?"
I nodded, "That's why he left yesterday. I scared him away."
"I think you just caught him off guard... I'm sure it's not as bad as you think."
"Then why would he just leave?" I asked softly.
Kaoru walked over and hugged me gently, "I'm sure you didn't scare him... he's probably just confused. I'm sure it'll all work out, okay?"
I looked down, "Whatever you say..."
I finished the food and sighed softly, "I don't know what to do..."
"What do you mean?"
"If I just go to sleep, I'll dream about him, but if I stay out here, I'll just keep thinking about him. I don't know what to do."
"How about... we just go talk to him?"
"I've tried to talk to him... he just gets scared and leaves." My eyes began to sting again.
"Well... we can still talk to him."
"I've already talked to him. He's with Reina. I just have to move on."
"Will you be able to?"
"I have to. I'm just acting like a stupid little 14 year old girl chasing after some high school guy she can't have. I can't keep doing this."
He hugged me softly, "Shinya... I'm really sorry."
I shook my head, "Its okay... I'm going to get cleaned up... and maybe we can go to the mall or something? I've been hanging out here too much."
"That's a good idea," He smiled, "Getting out will be good for you."
I sat in my car, Kaoru driving.
"Are you sure I look okay? I have to be really pale and sick looking from being inside for so long."
"No, no you look fine, don't worry," Kaoru said softly.
I nodded slightly and he pulled up at the mall. We walked in and we quickly found my favorite store.
I found a large pile of clothes that I liked, and Kaoru followed me to the changing rooms so I could try everything on.
Finally, I had tried everything on, and had picked out 3 different outfits I was going to buy.
"Maybe I could wear this if we go to a club after practice tomorrow," I held an outfit up to Kaoru.
"Yeah," He smiled, "That's a good idea."
He wrapped an arm around my waist and we walked up to pay for the clothes. I handed the cashier the money and Kaoru and I went back to the car.
I glanced at the clock and saw it was almost 2. I sat in the car silently and suddenly felt my mobile buzzing in my pocket.
I quickly answered it, "Hello?"
"Hey, it's Die. You at home? I can come over for a while, if you want."
"Actually we're just on our way. We went to the mall so I could get some new clothes."
"Oh... well, that's good. Do you still want me to come over?"
"You can if you want. We could all go out to eat if you want."
"...All? Like... with Reina?"
"Yeah, why not? It'll be fun."
"Oh... okay. I'll be over in half an hour. Will you be ready?"
"Probably. See you then."
I hung up and looked do Kaoru, "You don't mind going out to eat, do you?"
He shook his head, "Of course not. With Die?"
"And Reina," I smiled.
"...She's coming too... and you don't mind?"
"Of course not," I lied. I was moving on, but it still hurt so much. I'd wanted him for so long, but now I was just giving up. Losing a dream.