"I just don't know what went wrong." I said through my tears. I couldn't believe how much of a baby I was being at this point but I couldn't help it. Things weren't going so good, but I was glad ...
"But Mr. Do-Do bird, how will we ever get dry this way?"
"Come now my dear, I'm as dry as a bone!"
I was watching Alice in Wonderland and it was at the part where Alice and some other people are running in a circle around a fire on the shore trying to get dry, but they keep getting hit with waves every time they go around-all together defeating the purpose.
It was my comfort movie.
Let me tell you, I was in need of a comfort movie.
After I shouted at Julia, she had asked me what I was talking about.
"I'll tell you what I'm talking about. I'm talking about you dating Anthony and for some reason not telling your best friend. I'm talking about how weird you've been acting. I'm talking about how we use to be so close and now all of a sudden you're keeping secrets from me. I don't get it."
"Calm down Jem, ok listen," she said in a quiet tone, "I'm sorry, I swear this is the only thing I've been keeping from you. It's not that I don't trust you or anything. We started dating about five or six months ago. I was going to end it, but then he became really sweet and well, I love him. The reason I didn't tell you is because I just didn't really want anyone to find out."
"Julia, what makes you think I would have told the world?"
"That's not what I mean, what I mean is my parents and I have been fighting for a while and they don't give me any freedom. I know you wouldn't have told anyone but my parents have a method of dragging things out of people. I just didn't want to risk it, but I should have trusted you. I'm sorry."
"You should be." I said in a disappointed voice. I was disappointed.
"Jem, come on you know now."
"Not because you told me or anything." I said while glancing at the clock. It was the end of my shift. I took off my apron and hat and said my goodbyes to Rachel who seemed to be lurking around in the back with her eyes glued to a magazine wanting to stay out of the way.
"Julia, I want to talk to you." I said motioning for her to follow me outside. I wanted to make things right with her.
"I want you to know that you can trust me and you can tell me anything. We're best friends and I'm here for you."
"I know Jem, I'm sorry. You know you've been bugging me too."
"What? How?" I asked, curious.
"Well, it's just that you've been spending so much time with Scott and none with me. I figure that I'm in the back ground." Now I was mad, she was whining about not being noticed. Oh ya and bringing up Scott, who I didn't want to think about.
"Well I'm sorry about that Julia, but there's one problem, I screwed it all up." And at that moment it hit me that what I had just said was true. I screwed it all up. Any hope for me and Scott was gone. Gone because I opened my big mouth, and said something I didn't even think was true. Julia looked confused so I filled her in on what had happened. Things were sort of patched up with me and Julia, but it would take much more effort to patch things up with Scott.
I drove home and thought about what I would do next and when I got home it was six o' clock. I found a note on the table from mom.
I had some odd jobs to take care of, so there's money for pizza on the table.
I'll be home before eleven.
I crumpled up the note and threw it away. I ordered a pizza and popped in Alice in Wonderland. The Pizza guy came and went. I watched and ate. I was stuck in a situation. I watched the movie two more times before I put the left-over pizza in the fridge and went to bed. I thought about what I should do the next day to make things right with Scott. When he said he was waiting for me, did he mean waiting for us?
I sat up in my bed. That was what he meant. He was waiting for me to "come around".
He was waiting for me to make a move.
He wanted me to make a move.
I laid back down. I was going to ask him out tomorrow. I was going to tell Scott Harrison that I liked him.
I woke up the next day all shaky and nervous. I spent like a half hour deciding what to wear, finally deciding on a navy blue take top with a denim skirt and navy blue flip flops with my hair in a pony-tail. This was the day. I drove to school and when I walked in, Scott wasn't at our table. He was at the prep table. He was laughing it up with some jock and, get this, Kristine Blake. I walked in disgust to Julia who was shrugging her shoulders.
"No offence or anything, but even if he ditches you, why should he ditch me too?"
"None taken, he shouldn't ditch either of us!"
We went about or morning classes as usual and Scott didn't sit with us at lunch either. After sixth period I saw Scott in the hallway. This was it.
He turned his head and walked over to me.
"Yes Jemma?" Jemma? No way boy! You call me Jem!
"Look I'm sorry if I said something wrong, but I feel really bad and I wasn't thinking and I'm just really sorry. I want to be friends with you again and I don't want you to be mad at me."
He thought about this and then shrugged his shoulders.
"It's ok. I'll see you 'round."
He started to walk away. I grabbed his shoulder and turned him around.
"What is wrong with you? Are you ok?"
"What do you mean I said its ok." He replied innocently.
"You're not acting like yourself, and it seems like you hate me or something. I just want to say that I was stupid for saying what I said and I want to tell you that I like....."
Kristine came over and put her arm around Scott's waste.
"Is someone bothering you honey?"
"No it's fine." Said Scott.
"You missed your chance so stay away from him honey. He's mine." I looked at her with the meanest look I could gather up.
"Told you I always get what I want." She whispered to me.
They walked away together, and I just stood there in shock.
"Are you ready to go to the movies tonight?"
"Yep." I heard them say to each other as they walked away.
I walked through the hallway bumping into people and not giving a damn. I passed teachers and students, lockers and classrooms, and I went into the bathroom. The bell rang. I sat down on the bathroom floor and cried. I pulled my knees up to my chest and cried with my head down. How could I let this happen?
I cried for such a long time and I looked up to see myself in the mirror. My face was red and tear-streaked. I thought about Kristine whispering in my ear with that horrible tone in her voice almost as if to say na-na-na-na-na-na told you so!
I was so upset; Scott was a totally different person. I cried and cried and cried some more. I knew that I was missing class but I didn't care. I was mad at the world. I was mad at Kristine Blake, and most of all mad at Scott. I stood up and took a deep breath. I wiped my eyes and got myself together. I sulked to my locker and made a fake pass. It was the first time I ever forged something, but I hoped it would be believable. I walked into the class room and handed my teacher the pass. He bought it. By the time I got out of seventh period, I was furious. I pulled Julia aside in the hall and told her all about what had happened.
"Oh my gosh Jem, I'm so sorry. He is such a jerk."
"Thanks, I don't know what has gotten into him." I said.
We walked into our eighth period classroom and I put my stuff down in my usual seat knowing that Scott was right next to me. I looked over at him then said "Oh ya." Then I got up and dramatically walked over to the desk next to Julia.
"Oh good move." She said with a grin. Scott walked over to my desk and pulled me aside.
"Listen Jemma, I'm sorry about what happened too," he said sounding like his usual self, "but back there it sounded like you were about to say you liked me."
"Hmm, you must have me confused with your slut girlfriend because she sure likes you. She likes you a lot." I said strangely confident.
"Jemma, don't be like this." He said.
"Oh, so you think I'm the one with the problem? Take a look in the mirror next time and see what you've become. You use to be my friend Scott. You use to be funny and kind, and oh ya, you use to call me Jem. You use to be the boy I liked, but not anymore. Now you're the jerk who hangs with the preps and ditches me and Julia. Who are you?" I said almost crying. No wait, I was crying. Mrs. Lambert came into the room to start class then noticed I was crying. Julia said something to her as I was heading out the door and she nodded her head. I sat against the wall in the hallway crying really hard and pretty soon Julia was next to me with her arms around me.
"Jemma, it's okay........You're to good for him.........It will be alright..." said Julia using all the right comfort words that a best friend should.
"I just don't know what went wrong." I said through my tears. I couldn't believe how much of a baby I was being at this point but I couldn't help it. Things weren't going so good, but I was glad Julia was there to hold me in her welcome arms as I cried.