Categories > Anime/Manga > Ranma 1/2 > Twin Black Phoenix

Chpater 5

by Nighthawk 1 Reviews

The final chapter of TBP

Category: Ranma 1/2 - Rating: R - Genres: Action/Adventure, Angst, Crossover - Characters: Ranma - Warnings: [?] [V] - Published: 2005/05/08 - Updated: 2005/05/09 - 5307 words

Reviews

  • Twin Black Phoenix

    (#) numair42 2006-05-04 08:05:11 AM

    For those who like sailor moon, this not a fic for you. For everyone else, it's an interesting idea that was executed horribly. Things are rushed, story points are skipped, the characters are not balanced, and the characters all have a low intelligence. The "villains" are retarded, the "heroes" only slight less then the villains they fight. This story needs some serious TLC and re-balancing to make this more then the mediocre piece of junk that it is.

    That being said, I kinda liked it. Don't know why but I liked the story, but not how it was written.

    I would suggest that you do one of two things if you, the author, like this story. 1) Clean up this one majorly. It needs some serious work and would require you to add a lot to help the story flow. 2) I see that you want to make a sequel, summarize this story and turn it into the prologue of your next story. It would be the proper use of a prologue (a whole different rant) and get to the really interesting part of this idea. I would rather have a good sequel with a good prologue then to have to read this story again.

    Now if you decide to fix this story, the NUMBER ONE thing you need to do is fix the balance here. Ranma is overpowered and the senshi are wimps. It really makes me think that you like Ranma 1/2 more then sailor moon. This isn't a hero worship, it's supposed to be a story, with difficulties.

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