Funny what a song can invoke in you, even if it's not your work. disclaimer: don't own anything except the cd where i got the song from. plz review.
why of all days? Joe had emotions flying everywhere sparked by the events that had just occurred.
They were over, hell they'd been over. But why the fuck would he do this to him? on the day that could've been their anniversary. no that relationship was gone months ago, but the thought of what if's would've gotten him some peace to get him through th end of the tour. No, Steven wouldn't grant him his peace. he held his heart in his hands and now he'd just thrown it to the floor and stomped it.
Standing up in a haste he began pacing through his emotions. The anger, hate, sadness, feeling of betrayal, and the nagging forgiveness. in anger he threw over the arm chair before sinking to his knees in a babbling mess.
why, why now? what could he do, he couldn't change anything. as a ploy to get his mind on happier thoughts he hit the on button on the radio. his ears were greeted with the end of 'Dream On'.
'good, I don't wanna think of anything to remind me of that asshole' he thought bitterly.
the next song may not have been the best choice considering his present situation. the room was graced and soon filled with the sound of The Scorpions' 'Still Loving You'.
leaning back against the couch wiping his tear stained cheeks, Joe laughed at the song choice. no matter how sad he was he couldn't bring himself to change the station. reaching for a cigaret he listened to the song.
his body shook as the words Klaus Meine sand hit right home. taking a hit off the cigaret he exhaled shakily, listening to the words.
"time, it needs time to win back your love again..."
but how much time? he couldn't stand rehersals anymore. the awkwardness of working that close with Steven and no longer sharing somethinng special.
a sob escaped his throat as the next verse started "fight babe I'll fight to win back your love again..."
he would fight, he couldn't lose Steven twice in a lifetime. he'd made the biggest mistake when he left for Elyssa, but he came back. he couldn't be without Steven, and he wasn't willing to lose him again. his calm compossure that set him apart from Steven was long gone. the uncontrollable sobbing that racked his body only increased as the song played out.
"if we'd go again all the way from the start I would try to change the things that killed our love..."
"I'm sorry" he said his voice just above a whisper. "forgive me please." his glassed eyes filled over with unshed tears. he burried his head down, breathing deeply to control his body.
the words echoed in his head, " Is there really no chance to start once again? I'm loving you..."
Steven may have stomped on his heart, but he had a control over Joe. he couldn't bring himself to flly hate Steven.
they'd been fuck buddies to start with, but they both wanted more. apparently once you brought in the idea of love it was a sure way to kill the whole relationship. Joe still loved him though. he couldn't cut the ties. Steven had moved on, at least he thought so, but Joe couldn't let go.
he pulled off the braclet Steven had given him his fingers traced over the design, bringing in all the memories.
"you should give me a chance this can't be the end I'm still loving you..." can't stop either Joe mused slipping the braclet back on and turning off the radio. still loving you he thought gazing out the window.