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NEVER ENDLESS

Never Endless by Hyper Ego

Seifer x Squall | High School AU

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VIII is property of Square Enix.

Warnings: Yaoi, Mild Incest, Non-Consensual, Angst, Violence, Fluff, Suicidal Themes, Language, Gang Rape, High School AU (Alternate Universe)

Summary: Sometimes its best to keep one's mind shut...

Coming from a bedridden family, Seifer Almasy has long learned to familiarize himself with the presents that danger has learned to spitefully gift wrap for him. He strives to live his life with no regrets, although it is hard to do when everyone around him so eagerly expects him to fail.

Squall Leonhart presently lives with a talented and loving sister, as well as a rich and powerful father, so why is it that he always finds himself turning to pain for an answer? What in his life could drive him to keep his feelings dreadfully pent up for so long, that not only ends up hurting him, but an unforeseen significant other?


Terrible Lie
By Nine Inch Nails

Hey God
Why are you doing this to me?
Am I not living up to what I'm supposed to be?
Why am i seething with this animosity?
Hey God
I think you owe me a great big apology.

Terrible Lie
Terrible Lie
Terrible Lie
Terrible Lie

Hey God
I really don't know what you mean.
Seems like salvation come only in our dreams.
I feel my hatred grow all the more extreme.
Hey God
Can this world really be as sad as it seems?

Terrible Lie
Terrible Lie
Terrible Lie
Terrible Lie

Don't take it away from me.
I need someone to hold on to.
Don't take it away from me.
I need someone to hold on to.

Hey God
There's nothing left for me to hide.
I lost my ignorance, security and pride.
I'm all alone in a world you must despise.
Hey God
I believed your promises, your promises and lies.

Terrible Lie
Terrible Lie
Terrible Lie
Terrible Lie

You made me throw it all away.
My morals left to decay.
How many you betray.
You've taken everything.

Terrible Lie

My head is filled with disease.
My skin is begging you please.
I'm on my hands and knees.
I want so much to believe.
I need someone to hold on to.
I need someone to hold on to.
I need someone i need someone.
I need someone to hold on to.
I give you everything.
My sweet everything.

Hey God
I really don't know who I am.
In this world of piss


CHAPTER 1
Predilection
"You're a fag, right? So kissing me should be no big deal."
____________

~Servatis a Periculum,
Servatis a Maleficum~

The stormy grey eyes of Squall Leonhart scarcely widened as his mind registered the small, mutilated body sprawled in the center of the one-way road. Ongoing traffic continued its leisure pace, never once slowing down to acknowledge the derailed animal causing their mild delay. Dark, bruised blood flowed freely from the open wounds. It trickled down the open road, the occasional passing vehicle riding over the narrow streams, their revolving tires becoming stained from the crimson-colored gushes.

He ultimately forced himself to look away. Time seemed lost as he struggled to remember how long he had been standing there, gazing intently at the single spot that once held the rotting corpse of the German Shepard. He had barely taken note of when the frail body had been taken away, the shrilling screams from the animal's owner that dimmed the darkened night, or the rustling of the multiplied crowd as they dispersed from the present scene.

Curiosity sparked his senses, and his thoughts followed suit. Feeling courageous for a fraction of a second, he dared to imagine: would anyone ever feel the slightest amount of pain, knowing that he was no longer among the living, or would they act comparable to the retreating mob, not giving a shit unless it was one of their own?

This was not the first time that he had such menacing feelings invade him. Throughout his entire life, he could think of nothing else but death, and what secrets lay behind it. His obsession went too far at times, occasionally feeling the urge to pick up an unattended kitchen knife and slowly drive it deep within the topmost barriers of his skin. Would he feel pain when it was all over? Would he still be conscious so he could hear his father imploring him to not die? Would any sensation overcome him when he was ready to turn over?

Similar twisted fantasies bore at him as he continued his way to the small coffee shop on the corner of the same block that had harbored a death not too long ago. Never once was he able to let the notion of scoring some part of his body go away: all he wanted was to see how long it would take for him to feel something, if anything at all.

Veiled bells chimed harmoniously as Squall gently pushed opened the door to step inside the nearly empty café. Dimmed lights gave the shop a tranquil feeling, almost as if it could be treated as a sanctuary.

He shrugged off his coat as he strode over to his usual place on the large, velvet couch positioned in the heart of the area. As he took his seat, he couldn't help but wonder about the color of the couch, practically scolding himself for never noticing it before. Velvet... a dark red tint embedded on silk, which also conveniently happened to be the color of blood. Would his blood be of the same scarlet hue? Would it be darker, or would it be lighter? Would it pour out of his body as fast as it did from the animal he had seen, or would it simply pool around him, demanding that it be led back into him?

He soundly shook his head to relieve himself of these torturous visions, quickly composing himself as he become aware of a waitress walking over in his direction. She smiled sweetly at him, her cherry-red lips curling slightly at the ends of her mouth.

"So, will it be the usual?" she asked coquettishly.

He nodded vaguely as his eyes set themselves on her cherry coated lips. It appeared to be gleaming, becoming glossier as her smile stretched even further. Would his blood be as luminous as her lips? Would they have an eerie glow so that anyone can easily see it through even the darkest of nights?

She eventually noticed Squall staring at her lips, blushing somewhat from the realization. She gave an almost quiet, yet timid cough to get the brunet's attention. He straightened up in his seat when he heard the intrusion to his reverie. He had once again gotten carried away with his bothersome trances; they were coming at a more rapid pace, and seem to take a more prolonged amount of time in his mind as he inspected each one for their concealed contents.

He watched the now excited girl stride over and behind the counter to where the coffee was too be made. Maybe he shouldn't have been gazing at her lips for such a long time. Now's he given her more than enough reason to think that he's got a crush on her. That was not helping his case, as all he had been attempting to prove to her was that he had no interest in her since the day he had first stepped into the coffee shop. He never understood why he simply couldn't tell her that he didn't like women. He was not gay; he just couldn't find the time to be attracted to someone. His mind was always preoccupied with one single subject.

'Ugh, not again.'

Squall groaned inwardly as he realized that he had been having another one of his inner monologues. Maybe he should take his father's advice and join some social event at his school. He always worried that he never called or had any friends over. The reason being he doesn't know that he doesn't have many friends. They were only people he periodically chatted with when in school, but never found it important to talk to them when at home.

He buried his head in his hands, cursing silently at his inability to focus one more than one subject, all the while unaware of a pair of sea green eyes observing his every move. They belonged to a tall, muscular blond seated on the far side of the café. He had been looking after the slender brunet since the moment that he had walked through the entrance doors. His eyes unconsciously followed Squall as he went over to the couch, trailing slowly down the lean body to take in every curve, as much that was show able through the heavy material of his clothing, anyway. He withstood moaning on impulse when the brunet ran his fingers through the silky strands of that semi-long chocolate hair.

He almost found himself sighing in loss when the brunet had sat down, his leather clad bottom no longer visible for the blond's sight.

He did not care if anyone had spotted him inspecting the smaller boy over. Unlike many gays, this man was not afraid of his sexuality, and constantly demonstrated it so, regardless of the jeers he received in return. To be truthful, his family considered him a bisexual, ashamed that their only son had taken a liking for the same sex.

Even if he was described as the flirty figure, he never had the nerves to pick one out of the crowd and settle down with them. He wasn't one for the committing and caring of another when he could hardly tend after himself. Perhaps encountering this beautiful man could be a sign for him to turn over a new leaf? What the hell, he'd give it a try. What more did he have to lose in his pitiful life?

'Other than my dignity and a passionate night with this hot guy.'

Closing his mind from any further penetrations that would most likely busy themselves in him, the blond gathered his long, silvery trench coat, and coffee mug, and promptly made his way over to where the brunet had seated himself. Watchful eyes and alluring smiles followed his every step, mostly from his famed female admirers. He couldn't help but grin back out of habit as he seated himself next to the object of his current desires. He smoothed his coat in place over his thighs, eager in getting it out of the way. Seizing a careful sip of his warm coffee, he cast a momentous, sidelong glance at the dark haired youth.


Squall once again broke out of his tumultuous stupor when he felt the cushions shift underneath him. He blinked back his sudden unpleasant thoughts as he took note of the blond settled beside him, who keenly stared back at him.

'When did he get here?'

His eyes swept over the blond's body mechanically, hesitant grey orbs capturing what little can be seen from beneath the man's clothing. His golden hair caught his eye first. It seemed luminous under the faint light, trimmed close to the base, and slicked back almost elegantly with only a few untamed wisps hanging on his forehead. His angular face produced a fair tan, complimented well by a pair of sharp, jade green eyes. Squall's eyes traveled lower, briefly stopping to admire the dog-like collar resting loosely on his neck. They swiftly scanned the remaining attire, a simple semi-tight wine-colored pullover, and a pair of snug-fit blue jeans. He was cradling a mug similar to that of everyone else's. One of his arms supported by the knee of his left leg, which was neatly crossed over the other. Squall's vision went back up to the man's wine-colored sweater, the feeling of a certain warm, metallic liquid consuming his thoughts...

He hadn't realized on how long he let his eyes linger on the stunning stranger when he heard a familiar strained cough, which caused him to look away, much to the blond's dismay.

It was the girl that had taken Squall's order, now with his coffee at hand. She had what can be most described as a scowl on her usual flamboyant features. She had witnessed the encounter between Squall and the blond man from her post, and she was not too happy about their silent exchange. With a pained attempt at a sweet smile, she handed Squall his hot drink, intentionally brushing her fingers with his as he retrieved his mug.

Squall's face was as expressionless as a stone, merely nodding his thanks to the weary girl as he tasted the contents, satisfied that they were as he pleased it.

Directing a vicious glare in the blond's direction, the girl turned her heel, and headed to the other side of the shop to assist the other patrons.

Said blond simply chuckled in response to the girl's glower, long after she had left.

"I think your girlfriend's mad at me."

"She's not my girlfriend."

The brunet's reply was so low, he was not sure if they were even his words. He had indeed seen his plump lips move as the words slipped past his mouth, though, marveling at their succulent appearance.

'Wonder if I'll be tasting them anytime soon. Gah! Get your mind out of the gutter, Almasy.'

An awkward silence developed around them much like a strangling mist on a cloudy day. Neither male said a word, both chancing glances at the other when they believed they weren't looking, and finishing their drinks.

Having enough of the stillness in the air, the blond weighed his chances of speaking to the brunet again. He proposed that the worst the other man could do was either a) hurl his coffee in his face or b) leave. Nothing he couldn't take or hasn't been through already. With an outstretched hand, he proceeded to introduce himself as he had first planned.

"The name's Seifer."

Squall halted in mid drink to stare at the extended leather gloved hand, making no motion to return the gesture. He austerely went back to his drinking, leaving Seifer no choice but to pull his hand back.

'I guess I forgot to consider him not wanting to say a word at all. Could have at least given me some sort of si-'

"Squall."

Seifer turned back in the direction from where the brunet had released his words, a stupefied expression worn on his gorgeous face. Squall realized this and decided to clear out the matter.

"My name... It's Squall."

"Oh," was all Seifer was able to muster, rather taken aback by the other youth's response, and the flawless reluctance that managed to unguardedly seep through his words. He, of course, took this as his chance to continue their indirect conversation. Who knows: maybe the brunet might silence him in the most unforeseen way. Anything's worth a try once in this miserable world.


Seifer babbled on mindlessly while Squall pondered on the blond's true intentions: why was he even speaking with him? Why was he even listening to him? What could he want from him?

'What could I want from him?'

Squall looked over at Seifer, the blond ignorant that his companion was deaf to his pointless words.

'Maybe, just maybe, he can give me what I have spent so long searching for.'

"I guess maybe that's when I started to-"

"Kiss me."

Seifer's gaze fixated itself on Squall, dumbfounded by the brunet's sudden act of disposition.

"What?"

"You heard me. I want you to kiss me. You're a fag, right? So kissing me should be no big deal."

The elder boy resisted the urge to tackle Squall right then and there. He cautiously placed his drink on the floor close-by, unsure of how to vent the newly formed fury that agonizingly coursed his veins. Sure, his motives mostly consisted of seducing a certain brunet into spending the night, and possibly some of the morning, with him, however, he couldn't help but hastily terminate this coveted longing the instant Squall had breathed those hostile, provocative words. Long before he was able to lash out a string of curses, a feather-like touch to the top-right section of his chest quenched whatever remaining anguish still lingered.

Seifer peered down at the obtrusive hand expectantly, and then raised his cat-like jade eyes to meet with the tempestuous blue-grey one's of Squall once more, only to find that he was at a much closer proximity than he had been before. He raised a delicate, golden eyebrow in question, waiting to see what else he had in store.

Squall's next move easily caught him off guard, but luckily, Seifer was quick in composing himself. A pair of tender lips descended on his own, brushing lightly enough to cause a minor ticklish feeling.

It was nothing intense, just a simple touch of the lips, slickly pressed together not quite ready to develop, yet there appeared to be some deeper meaning behind the intention, some sort of yearning that Seifer couldn't quite decipher. Despite his ignorance, he leaned in closer to Squall's wanton warmth; his built up rage long forgotten.

Neither boy knew who the first to intensify the kiss was, nor did either of them care. Tongues tangled in desperation, needing, wanting, hoping that this wouldn't be their last meeting.

Squall inched closer to Seifer, wanting to bask himself in the other boy's heat, wanting to feel from another source that this was in fact for real, and not another illusion that he had created amongst his other fantasies.

Seifer couldn't help but grin against the other pair of lips as he felt Squall pushing him back against the arm of the sofa. In a decision to help maintain their balance, he effortlessly snaked a skillful arm around the younger boy's slender waist, and other moved to cup the back of Squall's head, resulting in him sitting upright, and their pulling closer. The hand that was on his chest had crept upwards to wrap around his neck lazily, while the other gripped to his shoulder blade with force, tethered fingers driving painfully into his skin even with the strong material of his clothing.

Squall was the first to gently break the heated lip lock, his hands still intact on the blond's body. Seifer opened his eyes slowly to see that Squall still had his shut.

"Wow," was all he was able to enunciate after the brunets eyes had gradually opened.

Foreheads touched, lips barely close, their breath ghosted against one another's skin. After what seemed like an eternity, Squall spoke.

"Come home with me."







To Be Continued...

Whew! You don't know how long it took me to finally finish up this chapter! Distractions here and there, not to mention the fact that I'm working on another fic for Fake and Gravitation. But none of that!

I know it's probably hard to believe, but I was actually in a very good mood when I wrote this up. The accident with the dog, however, did in fact actually happen a couple of months ago.

No more of this grimness! I hope everyone enjoyed the first chapter, and you can most certainly expect many more to come!

* The mini-thing is translated to "Save yourselves from evil, Save yourselves from danger." It comes from the song "Whisper" by Evanescence.