Categories > Anime/Manga > Death Note > Mello's ABC's

Mello's ABC's

by Kenya 3 Reviews

Mello's awsome rants on each letter of the alphabet!

Category: Death Note - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor, Parody - Characters: Other - Published: 2007/07/12 - Updated: 2007/07/13 - 582 words

Mello's ABC's!!!
"A"

Disclaimer: I don't own Mello, Near or the alphabet. If I owned the alphabet, I would put I and U together...AWWW..... No really, I don't.....

Near was playing with his 100000 piece puzzle. Mello was sitting on a lazy-boy chair devouring his favorite Czechoslovakian chocolate (and yes that is spelt right!). Just as Near was almost finished, Mello finally figured out that the picture on the box was of an aardvark. Mello stood up and picked up the box to get a better look at the strange....thing...

Pausing for a second, Mello looked up and said "Aardvark!"

Near gazed up from his puzzle with a blank stare, "Bravo..."

Mello concentrated for a moment. "Who even likes aardvarks......Who ever came up with the aardvark should be shot. By the mob....that I don't work for...Anyways, seriously, what's up with it? It looks like someone put a wombat, a pig and an anteater together in a blender just to see what would come out. And they got an aardvark. They didn't even know what to call it, so they called it an aardvark. With two a's. That's as stupid as Aaron. Who would name their kid with a name that starts with two a's. Better yet, who would name an animal with two a's? And who would ever want one for a pet? What would even call it, Aaron the aardvark? That's almost as cruel as calling it Arthur. Naming an aardvark Aaron or even Arthur should be considered animal cruelty. Seriously, Aaron the aardvark. How stupid does that sound?" he started breathing heavily.

Near looked up at the ranting 'genius' "Are you done yet?"

Mello shouted at him "No! I'm not done yet...Who ever created aardvarks should go to Alcatraz.....But who would want to go to there anyways? If the person who created aardvarks was there, would you want to go there? And why would you want to go there anyways? It's a jail in the middle of an ocean. In the middle of the ocean!!! And its not even in the middle of an ocean, it's on the side of an ocean! And if it's surrounded by water, they don't even have a chance to try to escape. And if they can't escape, then geniuses like me can't figure out how to catch them. But no....they can't have them escape cause they are such bad criminals....They might go out and kill or rape someone.....No one cares about the smart people in this world that want to catch them doing it. And all my friends from mafia...that I'm not in.....would still be going in there if it was still open. Don't they care about peoples friends? And if it was such a good jail, why would they close it? Even if the rumors that people have escaped are true, why would they close the so called 'best' jail in the world?" Mello sat down and started to regain his composure.

"And...and....And!" Mello's eyes lit up "You know...for word that we use so much it should at least have four letters...AND WHY START IT WITH A!!! It should be like....mand...Ya, because M is cool...Mand it should rule the world because I, Mello, will rule the world!" Mello let out a long, sadistic laugh.

"I take it that you're done now....please...." Near put away the pieces of the finished puzzle and left the room.
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