Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Lovers and Friends

Goodbye, Florida! Hola, Nevada! (chap 1)

by patdfan0702 3 Reviews

hmm...summaries. Not too good @ them but I'll try. this is my 1st fanfiction so please tell me what u think. this is a story about a girl who moves away from her sucky life in Forida 2 a new life i...

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: G - Genres: Humor, Romance - Characters:  - Published: 2007/07/22 - Updated: 2007/07/23 - 573 words


  • Lovers and Friends

    (#) xxACoalminexx 2007-08-16 07:56:40 AM

    Hey Bev. Nice story. May I make a few suggestions though? well, when you wanted to say for example "I want to go home" you're saying "I want 2 go home". That's okay if you're like...IMing someone but in a story its a little unprofessional. Also, when you're writing numbers (like 2 bedrooms) you should always write out the actual number (two bedrooms) if the number is below twenty. I'm quoting my IRLA teacher, but I agree with her. These little things can make a huge difference. Sorry for the excruciatingly long review. Great idea, I'm gonna read the other chapters now.


    Author's response

    thanx for the advice!

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