Kyo shares with Toshiya what he thinks about their breakup. Some language, possibly oneshot.
'It hurts too much to see you with him and know I had you just weeks ago. Less than 30 days ago, I called you only mine, but now he's calling you his. Why do you think it's so fair, that you can leave me for him? Why is it fair that I'm all alone, while you're getting what you want?
It seems selfish, but what do I know? You told me I didn't know anything, I was stupid, annoying... clingy. Were you really right?
You walk past me, smiling, holding tight onto his arm, like you used to hold mine. What slipped between us in that last moment? What made you turn your back on me... us? Was it all because of some other guy?
I know, I should be angry or sad or... something, but I'm just confused. I can't grasp the fact that you're gone, you're never coming back. I can't convince myself that you won't walk through my door again, crawling into bed with me, whispering that you can't sleep, knowing that, you'd be awake all night once you come in here.
I stretched out on my bed now, feeling alone, wishing you would walk through the door now, even though I know you won't.
You leaving made me change, I guess. Everyone but you notices it. But you're too wrapped up in whatever is important to you, not caring if no one wants to hear about what your new boyfriend got you, or which outfit you're going to wear on your next date.
Kaoru talks to me more now, when we barely spoke of anything but music before. He's worried, I guess, but I don't know why. I don't know what he expects me to do. I don't think you expect me to do anything. I think, you think your past relationships just disappear when you move on to a new one, but they don't. I'm still here, aren't I?
I still see you every day, but it seems like you don't even see me when you look in my direction. But why would you? You're over me now.
Everyone is just a potential fuck to you, isn't it? But you've had me, so I don't even matter anymore.
If I said it to your face, you'd probably just say I'm being bitter, a sore loser. You'd say I was jealous and wish I was still with you. Of course I wish I was still with you, does that make me pathetic? Don't you want things you can't have? You wanted him, obviously. But you get everything you want.
I don't know how to end this, because I know I have to say something special to get you to get it, but I don't know what to say to you anymore, Totchi. You almost never listened to me when we were together, but I might've just been too busy listening to you. I never really minded that, but I guess that made me annoying.
I do miss you though... but I better not obsess over something I can't have. I wouldn't want to be too much like you, but I guess you think everyone wants to be like you, don't you?
Shinya seems madder than I've ever seen him. He seems to agree with me. Does that make him stupid too? You always seemed to like him, are you going to just start ignoring him like you do me?
Die doesn't seem too happy either. You seem to be good at upsetting people. I'm not trying to be spiteful, but how would you react if I left you for another man?
But I'll move on. I guess I have to, don't I? There's no use wishing I had you when you're just a worthless slut, hopping around between men, getting who you want. I don't need that.
I deserve someone who actually cares that they're in a relationship and someone that doesn't look at other people, thinking of how easily they could get them.
I think I deserve at least a little better than what you gave me.
I stared at the hand written letter, tears pouring from my eyes. I'd found it tucked in the case with my bass. Kyo must've put it in there when I didn't notice.
I didn't realize how I'd been acting. I didn't realize how much I'd hurt him. I rubbed my eyes and my boyfriend walked up behind me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders, "Baby, are you alright?" He asked, grazing my cheek with his lips.
I pulled out of his grip and shook my head, "No... no, I have to go see him."
I love reviews and I need some feedback. I'm not sure whether I should add on another chapter or leave it as it is.