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"I'm sorry Marli, we can still be friends."

I don't know how many times i have heard that line. This time from my curent boyfriend Gavin, should be no different. I nodded holding the tears in my eyes.

"I understand" I whispered the wind lightly blowing my hair into my face.

"It's not you, it's me" He said gentaly placing a hand on my shoulder.

"I understand, it wasn't meant to be." I sniffed whiping my face so her wouldn't see the tears. I turned around to face him and smiled. He wrapped me in a hug.

"Thanks for understanding." He grinned before running off.

I sighed and sat down on my porch swing. 15, thats how many realtionships I've had that turned out this way. I pulled my legs up and hugged them. I thought Gavin and I had something special. I was truely in love with him, at least I think I was.

I'm not even sure if I understand love, it seems that no one has ever loved me back.

I silenlty let the tears fall and my mind went back to middle school.

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My best friend, and my biggest crush Ryan. We had lived next door to each other for as long as I can remember. He was always there, for the break-up and the heartache. And never could I tell him, he was the one I always wanted.

But he moved on, obtained a skinny, tall, blonde beautiful girlfriend. Got into the music scene joined a band and forgot about me.

Me, Marli the sad quiet depressed little emo tramp. A new boyfriend ever month. Thats how people saw me. But it wasn't true. I threw my heart into the realtionship, but as soon as somethign better came along, they dropped me without a single care. I stared at my relflection in a puddle on the pavement.

Brown hair, brown eyes, black rimmed glasses, eyeliner on thick.

I don't know what guys see in me, a quick fix maybe.

I rested my head on my knees and silently let the tears fall.

"Hi Marli"

I looked up, a boy sat there, short brown hair, a gorgeous smile, how come he knows my name, I've never seen him before. I stared blankly at him tears still running down my cheeks. He wiped them with his hand.

"Who are you?" I asked the boy.

He chuckled, "You honestly don't remember me? I haven't changed that much have I chick?"

I smiled remembering the age old nickname he gave me "Hello Ryan."

"Hi"

My words turned sour as I realized it was him "What do you want? Come to take a picture of the crying emo girl to show to Ariel?" I snapped at him. Ever since he became popular he had been cruel to me, it hurt at first. My undying love for him was still there but eventually the pain just numbed me. And i could go on.

"Give me envy, Give me malice, give me your attention."

"Ryan don't quote yourself. Just leave me alone."

"But it looks like you need a friend right now."

"Ha, you a friend, thats hard to believe, as soon as a better crowd came along you left me."

"That's not true!"

"Oh Yeah! Prove it!"

"Well alright, first of all, Ariel and I broke up about 3 months ago. She's dating Gavin now" He said reluctantly,

"I always knew she was a tramp"

"And I didn't mean to abandon you but.. I started having feelings for you. Feelings that I didn't want to admit. I didn't want to become the cliche boy loves his best friend deal, so I though distancing myself from you, would mean I wouldn't get hurt when you didn't love me back."

A tear slid down his cheek.

"Oh Ryan, you're a horrible judge of character."

"Pardon?"

"I loved you too, I had always and will always love you" I sighed "Even if i try to convince myself otherwise."

I looked up to meet Ryan's gaze, his eyes seemed pure and full of regret.

"I'm sorry, for everything" he sighed.

"It's ok, all is fair in love and war."

"Who quoting people now" he smirked

"Oh shut up."

I smiled up at Ryan and his lips came crashing onto mine. This is the moment I had been waiting fr my whole life and I have to say, it couldn't have been better then this.

Me and the boy of my dreams, on my porch swing in the rain, swinging our lives away.