I've let you down, Dragged you around, Wasted my money on messing my head up. I've watched you try to figure me out. Take me back 'cause you're lonely. Save me, even though we both know that you c...
"I'll call you later on tonight, once we are on the road." He whispered into her ear before letting her go. She nodded and followed him, picking up the smaller of the two bags he had as they left the bed room.
They made it to the front door before she broke down. She dropped the bag she was carrying and flung her arms around his back, burying her face into the back of the soft black cotton hoodie he wore.
"Please, please, Frankie. Don't do this. Don’t leave me again." She whispered. She wasn't crying, but her tears where her words. She loved him and she wanted him to stay. He dropped his bag and turned around, holding her to him once more.
"I have to go, Raene. You know I do. Please, don't make this harder." He kissed her ear, holding her to calm her. This had happened so many times and each time it became harder and harder for her to let him go. And yet, this is what to expect when you fall in love with someone famous. The world gets them just a little more than you ever will.
"I love you, Frankie." Raene whispered.
"And I love you, Raene. I'll see you later, baby." Frank let go of her and picked up his bags, heading for the door.
Raene watched his lean frame walk away, watching as he paused. She hoped it was to come back to her, to tell her that, this time he wasn't going out there. Or, maybe, he would take her with him. But all he did was flip his hood up over his head before climbing onto the huge tour bus. Raene could hear the cheering from inside, his welcome backs. She didn't care. She didn't want him to go, and he did. He left her, again. Just because he was in a fucking band.
She had made her goodbye phone calls. Her sister, her brother, Mystie and Sonee, both heard her say good-bye. She told them she loved them and that she was sorry she wasn't around more. They each told her they loved her. Sonee was busy, apparently his fiancée was over and she was taking up all his attention. Mystie was a little more forgiving when it came to her older sister's rambling.
"You could come and stay with me while Frank's gone." Mystie offered her older sister. "I know how much you hate being alone, and I have a spare room here since Amanda bailed on us. No one will care and you can stay, free of charge. I know you don't have a job because of Frank." Mystie tried to sound sweet, but each time she said her older sister's love's name, Mystie sounded like she was about to murder.
"No, sweetie. I'll be fine. After tonight, everything will be ok again." Raene stopped speaking for a moment. She took a deep breath and hoped her baby sister, the one who was seven years younger than her, didn't read far into that. "Listen, I'm gonna go and try to drown my sorrows in old home movies and a giant tub of ice cream. I'll talk to you later."
"Later, sis." Mystie said in defeat.
"Good bye, Mystie. I love you." And then Raene hung up her phone. She looked around, down at the cell phone that sat uselessly in her hand. And then she was ready. She quickly dialed the number she knew so well. It flipped straight to voice mail, the phone she was calling was off. It didn't surprise her.
"Hey there, This is the Frankster. If I know you, you know the drill. If you are the media or a fan, please forget you know this number. mwa" Raene's eyes filled with tears. This was it. Slowly she opened her mouth...
Frank was looking back to the bus. They weren't leaving Jersey that night. The bus was broken, unrunning, and just plain a piece of shit. He flipped open his cell to find it wasn't on. Confused he turned it on. Once the thing had loaded he looked at the message that popped up.
One new Voicemail. Frank's brow furrowed as he pressed the phone to his ear and listened as the robotic voice told him again, that he had one new voice mail. And then a new voice poured out. One he knew well, loved, and treasured above all others.
"I've let you down, Dragged you around, Wasted my money on messing my head up. I've watched you try to figure me out. Take me back 'cause you're lonely. Save me, even though we both know that you can't. Won't you save me? I'm gonna die tonight, I swear to god I'm gonna die. Can you save me? Even though we both know that you can't. Won't you save me? I'm gonna die tonight... I swear to god I'm gonna die"
Frank swore loudly as he hung his phone up. He knew Raene had been acting funny lately. He thought it was just because he was leaving again. But this... this was different.
"Damn you, Ben." He swore again, this time blaming the man who wrote the song, a friend of his, for giving her the idea to sing it. He ran onto the bus, where everyone sat waiting for some news on their departure time. He ran to his best friend, the lead singer of the band, and threw his hand out.
"Keys, Gerard." Frank demanded, his voice hiding the panic in him well.
"What's up, Frankie?" Gerard said with a slight laugh. Frank didn't have the time and dove at Gerard's pockets. He ignored the cat calls and the stupid comments about taking it back to the bunks from his 'friends' until he procured what he was after, Gerard's car keys. And then, with out so much as a thank you, took off for Gerard's car.
Frank had never driven so fast in his life. Not even when his mother was in the hospital after a car accident. This was different. His mother had stubbornly wanted to live. And now his Raene stubbornly wanted to die. He had to beat her, and save her.
Save me... even though we both know that you can't. Her words haunted Frank as he drove, and smoked. The way she said 'can't' was as if she was saying he wouldn't. Her words accused him of things he never thought she would even think he did. There wasn't a second of truth to her allegations, but she believed there was. And now, As Frank pulled back into Belleville, he knew: this was all his fault.
He knew where she would be. The song she sang gave it away. He remembered back when they were early in this relationship. Back when he first knew he loved her, but still didn’t have the guts to tell her. They had spent the past few days listening to the new Armor For Sleep album, What To Do When You Are Dead. They had been driving around, blaring that same album, when they went across this old worn out bridge. Raene told Frank to stop the car. She went and stood, leaning over the edge of it, looking for something. Frank, after killing the car, went to where she was staring and looked to see what had caught her eye.
"Love, there is nothing down there." Frank stated, but Raene shook her head. She was still looking for something, still searching the clear waters for what was not there.
"I'm looking for the car underwater. If anyone were going to kill themselves by driving off a bridge, this would be the bridge. It's deep enough to kill yourself, but it would still be beautiful around you as you drowned." Raene had a dreamy sort of quality to her voice that amazed and frightened Frank. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him as she continued to look down into the water below.
"There is no car underwater, darling. Ben just wrote a concept album. That's like saying Gerard is really a vampire... well, you know what I mean. It isn't real." Frank was trying not to talk down to Raene, but he couldn't help it. She was scaring him, how she was leaning over, about to fall right in. Raene looked up at Frank, a new emotion crossing into her eyes. It clouded the color that, incidentally enough, looked like rain clouds until they seemed to loose all color.
"Let's go." Her tone was unreadable to Frank, but he knew it was because she was upset with him. Once back in the car she took the Armor For Sleep album from the CD player and threw something else in, uncaring to see the title. Frank sighed, picking up her hand and lacing their fingers together.
The bridge was about twenty minuets outside of the town they lived in, and of course it was twenty minutes on the other side from where Frank was. But he was less than five from it before his phone started to go haywire. He looked hopefully down at the screen, but it wasn't Raene as he had hoped. The number was foreign to Frank and he pressed the phone to his ear quickly.
"Is this a mister Frank Iero?" The voice was stern and seemed to just scream 'I hold bad news for you.' Frank swallowed hard. He wasn't ready for anything to come out of the phone, but he told himself he was ready for the worst.
"Yes, it is. Who is calling?" Frank waited what seemed like an eternity. The man seemed to have gone out for a smoke break. Frank held his breath, waiting to hear the worse, hoping the best would really be what was coming.
"Mr. Iero, we have some bad news..." The rest of the words were drowned out, but not because Frank couldn't take them.
Frank had finally made it to the bridge. And there, leaning over the edge, stood Raene. He threw his car in park and leaped out of it, screaming her name. She didn't look at him, however, she didn't even move. She just looked at the water, which was raging close to the bridge from the over abundance of rain storms in the last few weeks. Now that Frank put two and two together, he realized that was the same amount of time that Raene had been acting like this.
"Raene! Please!" Frank screamed again, this time as he came closer to her. Still she didn't acknowledge that Frank was even there. All she did was look at the water. So Frank ran the last few steps to her. All of this seemed so drug out. Time seemed to stand still, or at least crawl along while Frank pushed his way through the thick air at his beloved Raene.
When arms wrapped around her body Raene knew she wasn't alone. She hadn't heard anyone come up, all she could hear was the rushing of the tiny river below. It seemed so comforting before, this river had become the place she could trust above all others. But now it told her to turn back. It told her it couldn’t be there for her this time. This time she needed someone real, and that she knew who it was that she needed.
"I'm sorry, Frankie." Raene whispered. She had never turned around and the person behind her never spoke. That didn't matter, she would always know what he smelled like. He dug his face into the crook of her neck.
"Please don't ever do that to me again." Frank whispered to her.