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Love is Blind
by Ariss Tenoh



You don't see me.


Even during that year, you did not see me.


You saw only a child, innocent and trusting. A doll, beautiful and desirable. An amusement, delightful and entertaining.


A prey, kept for the pleasure of the hunt, and soon to be caught and devoured.


Not a possible lover, not the future. Not a human being, only the promise of a present soon to become a past.


A being. No, worse yet. An object.


You did not see me....


And I wanted, more than anything else in the world,


For you to SEE me.


Because I love you.


But...


Love is blind.


*


You don't see me.


During that year, you did not see me.


You saw only a man, handsome and strong. A veterinarian, kind and charming. A possible lover, passionate and protective.


A person, kept for companionship, and soon to be more.


Not a killer, not the past. Not a hunter, only the promise of a present soon to become a future.


An illusion. No, worse. A being who doesn't exist.


You did not see me....


And I wanted, more than anything else in the world,


For you to SEE me.


Because.. I...


But...


IT is blind.


*


You don't see me.


Even after nine years, you did not see me.


You saw only a young man, vengeful and bloodthirsty. An onmyouji, powerful and threatening. A Dragon of Heaven, strong and determined.


An object, kept for enjoyment, and soon to be broken.


Not a possible lover, not the past. Not a prey, only the promise of a future soon to become the present.


An illusion. No, worse. A lie.


You did not see me....


And I wanted, more than anything else in the world,


For you to SEE me.


And so...


I will die for you.


For myself.


For you to see me,


For you to finally feel and live.


*


You don't see me.


Even after nine years, you did not see me.


You saw only a man, an old acquaintance. A friend, a one-time veterinarian. A long-lost love, yearned for and desired back.


A person, cherished and deprived of, and soon to be reunited with.


Not the Sakurazukamori, not the past. Not a Dragon of Earth, only the promise of a future that will never come.


A dream. No, worse. A lie.


You did not see me....


And I wanted, more than anything else in the world,


For you to SEE me.


And so...


I will die.


For myself.


For you to see me,


For you to finally feel and live.


*


I didn't see you.


It is true.


Even after all this time of knowing you, even after meeting you again,


I did not see you.


I saw only what I wanted to see, what I wanted you to become.


The person I wanted to forge you into.


Not what you were, not the past. Not what you are, the present that I didn't want to come.


But.. I'm happy. To speak the words I wanted most to tell you of.. and to hear those words spoken from you in return.


To... die by you hand.


To.. be your... first and only love.. and first kill.


To see you looking at me in this way.


My wish is fulfilled.


... I.. only wish.. I'd told you sooner... I'd seen you.... sooner.....


But...


Love.. is... blind.

........................


*


I didn't see you.


It is true.


Even after all this time of knowing you, of dreaming about you, even after meeting you again,


I did not see you.


I saw only what I wanted to see, what I believed.. what I wanted you to be.


The person who would be able to grant my death wish.


Not what you were, not the past. Not what you are, the present that I didn't believe would come.

But.. I'm happy. To speak the words I wanted most to tell you of.. and to hear those words spoken from you in return.


To know that I was in some way special to you.


To be your first, and perhaps only, love.


To know that you didn't want to kill me.. didn't want me to die.


To see you.. looking at me in this way.


My wish is fulfilled.


... I.. only wish.. I'd told you sooner... I'd seen you.... sooner.....


I'm sorry.. so sorry.


I'm crying, I can't stop myself... can't stop all these tears.. can't stop this searing pain..


I wish.. I wish....


But..


Love is blind.




~End of Blinded Love~