FicWad

It's happening again.

My throat burns from the bile but I swallow it back down and wipe my bottom lip.

My head feels like it's about to implode - like there's something trapped inside tearing away at my skull.

I lean back onto the pillow and look up at the ceiling, trying to hold it all together.

My world is falling apart at the seams.

I've got to be losing my mind.

Why is this happening again?

I stand back up when the pain becomes beyond unbearable and walk the few paces down the hall to the bathroom, flicking on the light and leaning on the sink for support.

I take a long look in the mirror at my tired complexion.

My eyes are red and blood-shot, the skin under them a dark, smoky color.

I turn on the tap and rinse the cool water over my face, washing the leftover goo off my chin.

I open the medicine cabinet and take out the Tylenol, dumping two of the little red capsules into my hand before screwing the cap back on and swallowing them.

I make my way back down the hall and lie down again, looking over at Rae and closing my eyes, trying desperately to fall back into a peaceful sleep - free from nightmares.

But I still feel sick, the contents of my stomach churning away like molten lava.

I try to reason myself, to put myself at ease.

After all, it's only happened twice now, how do I know it's not just something I ate?

But then again, this is exactly how it started last time.

Finally I feel my breathing slow and my mind calm as the world around me starts to grow dark and sleep nears.

"Daddy!"

My eyelids fly open and I race up the stairs, hoping nothing has happened and that the nightmares and sickness are just symptoms of the flu.

I fling open her bedroom door and find my baby sitting up in bed, tears in her eyes and her doll held tight in her arms.

I walk over to her bed and sit down next to her.

"Daddy I had a bad dream," she sniffles,"Bad people stole me."

I feel my heart stop and the color drain from my face.

This can't be happening.

But I keep my cool and put my arms around her,"It's Ok, Baby, it was just a dream."

"I don't wanna go back to sleep," she says, scooting onto my lap.

"Well how about if you came and slept with me and Mommy?"

She nods, and I stand up as she rests her four-year-old head on my shoulder.

"It was really scary," she whispers.

"Don't worry, Daddy would never let anyone hurt you," I tell her as I lay her down in the middle of our bed.

And I mean it.

Ok, here it is. Crappy beginning, I know. I beat myself up to get this going though, so I hope you guys'll like this. But it might be kinda slow for awhile, I don't really know what I want to do with this, so you've just gotta bear with me.
Pace e molto amore
Manda