Categories > Anime/Manga > Inuyasha

Impossibilities and Improbabilities

by Tataru 0 reviews

What happens when you wish with your heart and your head and your soul all at the same untimely instant? The problem with wishes is that unless you’re a really savvy wish maker, the oddest most ...

Category: Inuyasha - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Characters: Kagome,Kirara,Miroku,Sango,Sesshoumaru - Published: 2007-09-19 - Updated: 2007-09-20 - 930 words

“Are you sure about this Inuyasha?” Kagome asked for the umpteenth time in the last fifteen minutes.

Inuyasha held the completed Jewel in his hand. Just as he had always wanted. With a fleeting look at Kagome, he closed his eyes and wished.

The problem with wishes is that what you truly wish isn’t always what you truly want and what you truly want isn’t always what you truly wish.

Unless you have studied law and can write out of the wish every conceivable bad outcome to where all you are left with is one intelligent wish that will not have any unpleasant consequences, it’s best to leave them alone. Our hearts and minds rarely, if ever, work mutually to our benefit, and that was the case for our young friend.

He didn’t mean to do it, he though he knew in his heart what he wanted but his heart, soul and head all thought he needed something that contradicted what the other thought and what he thought he really wanted and what happened was that he made four actual wishes without really thinking about it.

And they happen to be as follows:

One, that he could become human.
Two, that he could become human with a living-breathing-very-much-alive-and-well Kikyo.
Three, that he could become a full fledged demon.
Four, that he could become a full-fledged fully-in-control-of-him-self-demon with Kagome.

The most incredible thing occurred. One could almost say impossible but then nothing is ever impossible, just highly improbable.

They all came true.

At the same time.

Now I know that it sounds impossible but we already established that nothing is impossible, just very improbable.

Whether it was fate or the last trick of an already too tricky jewel, the wishes did come true. Just not in a way anyone could have guessed, concluded, surmised, dreamt of or imagined.

As the group of close friends stood together, watching intently as their hanyou friend clutched the long fought for glowing orb in his clawed paw, they held their collective breath, waiting warily to see if the their friend would know happiness in his wish or if they would know complete disaster.

They were very much surprised when their friend disappeared only to be replaced with three glowing orbs that resembled the jewel. Each vibrantly radiant sphere hovered for a moment before shooting around them very hastily.

“What’s happening?” Sango shouted over the whooshing the lights were making as they streamed around them. “What are those things?”

Then, to the shock of all, one for one, each orb slammed quite rudely up into the crotch of each female.

And not just the human ones either.

A rather astonished howl issued from Kirara at the unexpected invasion; however, Sango was in no right state to comfort her, having issues of a similar nature herself.

Kagome let off a very articulate colloquialism before falling to the ground, trembling with shock.

“What the hell was that?” Kagome said furiously, clutching herself. Never had she felt such a violating sensation. “Was that Inuyasha?”

She had little time to consider what Inuyasha’s wish could possibly have been that would have resulted in his coming up close and personal with the inner her when she was overcome by an abrupt and forceful urge to up chuck. And from the sound of it, Sango and Kirara felt the same.

Nothing clears an area faster then a vomiting female and the non-females present predictably fled.

I’m sure you’re asking yourself the same thing Kagome, Sango, and Kirara are asking them selves. Just why would Inuyasha vanish and turn into three glowing orbs that in turn assaulted them in a most improper manner and proceed to make them all very sick?

“What’s happening to us?” Kagome asked a rather green looking Sango who was trying in vain to comfort a hard panting Kirara.

“I don’t know. But I’m starting to feel hungry.” Sango answered, rubbing her belly.

Kagome realized that she too felt hungry.

Rather remarkable bearing in mind the manner on which their tummies had been emptied, but ravenous they were and woe would be any being brainless enough to come between them and food.

Meeting each others gazes and shaking their heads in silent agreement to their common need, they gathered themselves up from their wretched states and precariously made their way back to their encampment.

Predictably there was no one present upon their arrival and they fell upon the remains of their morning meal with relish. When that was gone and they were still famished, they scanned the campsite for more edibles, their eyes coming to rest on a veritable treasure trove of goodies, Kagome’s back pack.

Thank the gods for ramen noodles, potato chips, cookies, and chocolate bars or the world may have become acquainted with their unhappy displeasure.

They munched and ate and indulged and consumed until the enormous yellow bag lay empty, gutted of its contents. All that remained after the tidal wave of gluttony were three sleeping females encircled by a virtual sea of wrappers and packaging.

Miroku and Shippo, still overcome with shock and awe, peeked nervously from their hiding spot and stared in wonder at the women.

“Miroku,” said Shippo quietly in Miroku’s ear, “maybe we should get some more food.”

“I agree,” Miroku said, turning from the carnage and hopeful that luck would be with them and they would be able to find some beast to roast that would satisfy them long enough to get them back to the village.
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