Categories > Movies > Mummy

Memorable Quotes from The MuMmy

by Draconis1719 2 Reviews

The Best Quotes from The MuMmy! Most of these are funny, or odd. Enjoy!

Category: Mummy - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Action/Adventure, Humor - Characters: Anck Su Namun, Ardeth, Evelyn, Imhotep, Jonathan, Rick - Published: 2006/01/01 - Updated: 2006/01/02 - 2465 words - Complete

Memorable Quotes from The MuMmy


O'Connell (Rick)

O'Connell: I've been to Hamunaptra.
Evelyn: You swear?
O'Connell: Every damn day.

O'Connell: I only gamble with my life, never my money.

Evelyn: By the way, why did you kiss me?
O'Connell: I don't know. I was about to be hanged. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Evelyn: Ooh! [Gets up and walks away in a huff]
O'Connell: [Calling after her] What? What'd I say?

O'Connell: So what's the scam, Beni? You take them out into the middle of the desert and then you leave 'em to rot?
Beni: Unfortunately, no. These Americans are smart. They pay me only half now, half when I get them back to Cairo, so this time I must go all the way.
O'Connell: Them's the breaks, huh?

O'Connell: Can you swim?
Evelyn: Well, of course I can swim if the occasion calls for it.
O'Connell: [throwing her overboard] Trust me, it calls for it.

Warden Gad Hassan: What are we going to do? What are we going to do?
O'Connell: [Jumping overboard] Wait here. I'll get help.

Jonathan: [Trying to buy some camels from a Bedouin] I only want four, not the whole bloody herd!
O'Connell: Just pay the man.
Jonathon: For heaven's sake! I can't believe the price of these fleabags.
[Jonathon pays the man for the camels, O'Connell takes two, Jonathon takes two]
Jonathon: Yes, happy. Very good.
O'Connell: You probably could've got 'em for free. All we had to do was give him your sister.
Jonathon: [Jokingly] Yes. Awfully tempting, wasn't it?
O'Connell: [O'Connell sees Evelyn in a beautiful black dress] Awfully.

[When they about to open the sarcophagus]
Evelyn: I've dreamt about this since I was a little girl.
O'Connell: You dream about dead guys?

[After a mysterious wind blows up for the umpteenth time]
O'Connell: That happens a lot around here.

Winston: You know O'Connell, ever since the end of the Great War, there hasn't been a single challenge worthy of a man like me.
O'Connell: Yeah? We all have our little problems today, don't we Winston?

O'Connell: [Seeing Imhotep regenerate] We are in very serious trouble.

Evelyn: We must stop the Mummy before he is fully regenerated. Who opened that chest?
Mr. Henderson: Well, there was me, and Daniels, and Burns of course, and, oh yes, that Egyptologist guy.
O'Connell: What about my buddy Beni?
Mr. Daniels: Nah, he scrammed out of there before we even opened the damn thing.
Mr. Henderson: Yeah. He was the smart one.
O'Connell: That sounds like Beni.

O'Connell: Hey! Get your ugly face offa her.

O'Connell: Look at what I've got! [Holds up the cat]
Imhotep: [Gasps]
Cat: [Hisses]
Imhotep: [Shrieks and flees in a dust storm]

Evelyn: Patience is a virtue.
O'Connell: Not right now it isn't.

Winston: What's the plan?
O'Connell: Rescue the damsel in distress; kill the bad guy, save the world.

[Being chased by Imhotep's sand wall in bi-plane]
O'Connell: Hey, Winston! Paddle faster.

[They have just walked into a large room full of gold]
Jonathan: Can you see...
O'Connell: Yeah.
Jonathan: Can you believe...
O'Connell: Yeah.
Jonathan: Can we just...
O'Connell: No.

O'Connell: Time to close the door.

[After armed mummies appear]
O'Connell: Oh, yeah. This just keeps gettin' better and better.

[After the armed mummies jump towards O'Connell]
O'Connell: Aaaaah! [The mummies roar back] Uh-uh. [Runs away]

Evelyn: Keep him busy.
O'Connell: [being thrown against a pillar by Imhotep] No problem.

[Hamunaptra is about to be destroyed]
O'Connell: Time to go.


Evelyn

Evelyn: [after destroying the museum library] Oops.

[In a darkened room]
Evelyn: Abdul? [No answer] Mohammed? [No answer]... Bob?

Evelyn: Have you no respect for the dead?
Jonathan: Of course I do, but sometimes I'd rather like to join them.
Evelyn: Well I wish you'd join them sooner rather than later before you ruin my career the way you ruined yours.

Evelyn: [about O'Connell] Personally, I think he's filthy, rude, a complete scoundrel. I don't like him one bit.
O'Connell: Anyone I know?

O'Connell: Sorry. Didn't mean to scare ya.
Evelyn: The only thing that scares me, Mr. O'Connell, are your manners.

Evelyn: Oh, get over it! It wasn't that good of a kiss.

Evelyn: The map! The map! We forgot the map!
O'Connell: Relax. I'm the map. It's all up here. [Points to his head]
Evelyn: Oh, that's comforting.

[Beni is smacking O'Connell with his crop, so O'Connell grabs his collar]
O'Connell: So long, Beni. [Pulls Beni from his camel]
Evelyn: That serves you right.

Evelyn: Oh, my god. It's a Sah-Netjer.
O'Connell: Huh?
Evelyn: A preparation room.
O'Connell: Preparation for what?
Evelyn: [Jokingly] For entering the afterlife.
[O'Connell pulls out his gun]
Jonathon: Mummies, my good son. This is where they made the mummies.

[At Hamunaptra, opening Imhotep's sarcophagus]
Evelyn: Oh God, I hate it when these things do that.
O'Connell: Is he supposed to look like that?
Evelyn: No, I've never seen a mummy like that, he's still... still...
O'Connell, Jonathan: ...juicy.

Evelyn: Look, I... I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker, or a gunfighter, Mr. O'Connell, but I am proud of what I am.
O'Connell: And what is that?
Evelyn: I... am a librarian.

[Evelyn is drunk]
Evelyn: I bet you're thinking, what's a place like me doing in a girl like this?
O'Connell: Something like that, yeah

O'Connell: That's called "stealing," you know.
Evelyn: According to you and my brother it's called "borrowing."

O'Connell: [About the Book of the Dead] You're sure you oughta play around with that thing?
Evelyn: It's just a book. No harm ever came from reading a book.

Imhotep: Keetah mi pharos, aja nilo.
Beni: [Translating] "Come with me, my princess. It is time to make you mine, forever."
Evelyn: "For all eternity," you idiot.

Evelyn: Have you got any bright ideas?
O'Connell: I'm thinking, I'm thinking...
Evelyn: You better think of something fast, because, if he turns me into a mummy you're the first one I'm coming after.

Evelyn: You know, nasty little fellows such as yourself always get their comeuppance.
Beni: They do?

Evelyn and Im-Ho-Tep: "Death is only the beginning."


Jonathon

[Jonathan hands Evelyn a strange box]
Jonathan: All my life I've never found anything Evy. Please tell me I've found something.
[Evelyn opens the strange box, inside lies an ancient map]
Evelyn: Jonathan?
Jonathan: Yes?
Evelyn: I think you found something.

Evelyn: You lied to me.
Jonathan: I lie to everyone, what makes you so special?
Evelyn: I'm your sister.
Jonathan: That just makes you more gullible.

Jonathan: [Sees Americans enjoying shooting people] Americans. [Man with hook comes after him and one of the Americans save him] I say, bloody good show, chaps! And did I panic? I think not! [There's an explosion and Jonathon screams and falls off the boat]

Jonathan: I never did like camels. They're filthy buggers, they smell, they bite, they spit.
[The warden spits]
Jonathan: Disgusting.

[Entering the Sah-Netjer]
Jonathan: Whew! What is that god-awful stench? [Sees the warden right behind him]
Jonathan: Oh.

Beni: Yes, wells, there's only four of you... and fifteen of me. Your odds are not so great, O'Connell.
O'Connell: I've had worse.
Jonathon: Yeah, me too.

O'Connell: So let me get this straight, they ripped out your guts and they stuffed them in jars?
Evelyn: And they took out your heart as well. Oh, and do you know how they took out your brain?
Jonathan: Evy, I don't think that we need to know this
Evelyn: They took a sharp, red hot poker, stick it up your nose, scramble things about a bit, and then rip it all out through your nostrils.
O'Connell: Ooh, that's gotta hurt.
Evelyn: It's called mummification, you'll be dead when they do this.
O'Connell: For the record, if I don't make it out of here, don't put me down for mummification.
Jonathan: Likewise.

Jonathon: [About warden] Now where'd our smelly little friend go to?

[After the warden has died]
Evelyn: What do you suppose killed him?
Jonathon: Did you ever see him eat?

[Jonathan looks through the warden's pouch. Suddenly he cuts himself on something]
Evelyn: What is it?
Jonathan: A broken bottle. Glenlivet, 12 years old. He may have been a stinking fellow, but he had good taste.

O'Connell: [To Evelyn] Take this. Stay here. [Gives her a gun and gets up and leaves]
Evelyn: No, wait, wait! Wait for me. Wait!
Jonathon: Evy! Excuse me, but didn't the man just say "stay here"? Evy!

Dr. Bey: [About Imhotep] And it appears he's already chosen his human sacrifice. [Looks at Evelyn]
Jonathon: Bad luck, old mum.

[After O'Connell has picked Evelyn up and put her in her bedroom to stop her from coming with him]
Evelyn: Jonathon! O'Connell! What do you think you are doing? Jonathon!
Jonathon: Sorry, he's a bit... tall.

O'Connell: [To Evelyn] Are you alright?
Jonathan: [Standing several feet behind O'Connell] I'm not sure...

[A scarab has just crawled under Jonathan's skin]
Jonathan: Do something! Do something!
[O'Connell flicks out a knife]
Jonathan: Not that! Not that!

[They have just walked into the large room full of gold for the second time, and the tomb is collapsing]
Jonathan: Couldn't we just...
Evelyn: No, Jonathon!

Jonathan: I guess we go home empty handed. Again.
O'Connell: I wouldn't say that. [Kisses Evy]
Jonathan: Oh please. [To his camel] How about you darling, you want a little kissy-wissy? [The camel breathes on him] Whew!


Ardeth Bay

Ardeth Bay: [narrating] Thebes, City of the Living. Crown jewel of Pharaoh Seti the First. Home of Imhotep, Pharaoh's high priest, keeper of the dead. Birthplace of Anck Su Namun, Pharaoh's mistress. No other man was allowed to touch her. But for their love, they were willing to risk life itself.

Ardeth Bey: Now, this creature is bringer of death. He will never eat, he will never sleep, and he will never stop.


Beni

Beni: You just got promoted.
O'Connell: You will be with me on this?
Beni: Oh, your strength gives me strength. [Beni runs away]

O'Connell: Well if it ain't my little buddy Beni. I think I'll kill you.
Beni: Think of my children.
O'Connell: You don't have any children
Beni: Someday I might.

Beni: You never believed in Hamunaptra, O'Connell. Why are you going now?
O'Connell: You see that girl over there? [Points to Evelyn] She saved my neck.
Beni: You always did have more balls than brains.
[Both laugh]
O'Connell: Goodbye, Beni. [Throws Beni overboard]

[After the shipwreck]
Beni: Hey, O'Connell! Looks to me like I've got all the horses.
O'Connell: Hey, Beni! Looks to me like you're on the wrong side of the river.

Beni: [To Mr. Burns] Prince Imhotep thanks you for your hospitality... and for your eyes... and for your tongue... but I'm afraid more is needed.

O'Connell: You came back from the desert with a new friend, didn't you Beni?
Beni: What friend? You are my only friend.

Beni: As long as I serve him, I am immune.
O'Connell: Immune from what?
Beni: Piszkas allat.
O'Connell: What did you say?
Beni: I don't want to tell you. You'll just hurt me some more.

Beni: It is better to be the right hand of the devil than in his path.

O'Connell: You're gonna get yours, Beni! You hear me? You're gonna get yours!
Beni: Oh, like I've never heard that before.

Beni: I need a new job.

Evelyn: [To Imhotep] Stop it! You'll kill them!
Beni: That's the idea.

Beni: I loved the whole sand wall trick, it was beautiful... bastard.


Warden Gad Hassan

Evelyn: Why is this man in prison?
Warden Gad Hassan: This I did not know. But when I heard you were coming, I asked him that myself.
Evelyn: And what did he say?
Warden Gad Hassan: That he was just looking for a good time.

Evelyn: Where are they taking him?
Warden Gad Hassan: To be hanged. Apparently, he had a VERY good time.

Evelyn: I will give you 100 pounds to save this man's life.
Warden Gad Hassan: Madame, I would pay 100 pounds just to see him hang.

Warden Gad Hassan: Are you telling me this filthy, godless son of a pig knows where to find the City of the Dead?
Evelyn: Yes.

[The warden is snoring loudly and Jonathon smacks him with his crop then pretends to be asleep]
Warden Gad Hassan: [Wakes up] No more goat soup.

Warden Gad Hassan: Look for BUGS... I HATE bugs

Jonathan: What was that sound?
O'Connell: It sounded like... bugs.
Evelyn: [To the warden] He said bugs.
Warden Gad Hassan: What do you mean bugs? I hate bugs.


Dr. Bey (the Curator)

Dr. Bey: [stutters in disbelief] Oh look at this! Sons of the pharaohs! Give me frogs! Flies, locusts! Anything but you. Compared to you the other plagues were a joy!
Evelyn: I am so very sorry it was an accident.
Dr. Bey: My darling girl, when Ramses destroyed Syria, that was an accident. You are a catastrophe!

Evelyn: There is only one man I know who can possibly give us some answers.
[Sees Ardeth Bay]
Evelyn: You?
Dr. Bey: Miss Carnahan. Gentlemen.
Evelyn: [about Ardeth] What is he doing here?
Dr. Bey: Do you really want to know, or would you rather just shoot us?
O'Connell: After what I just saw, I'm willing to go on a little faith here.

Dr. Bey: We are part of an ancient secret society. For three thousand years we have guarded the City of the Dead. We are sworn at manhood to do any and all in our power to stop the High Priest Imhotep from ever being reborn into this world.
Ardeth Bay: Now, thanks to you, we have failed.
Evelyn: And you think that justifies the killing of innocent people?
Dr. Bey: To stop this creature? Let me think...
Dr. Bey, Ardeth Bay: YES!.


Mr. Henderson

Mr. Henderson: Do they know something we don't?
Dr. Allen Chamberlain: They're led by a woman. What does a woman know?

Mr. Henderson: Get me a shot of bourbon, and a glass of bourbon, and a bourbon chaser.


Mr. Daniels

Mr. Daniels: Stupid superstitious bastard.


Winston

Winston: [Stepping into a fountain] Some bloody idiot spilled his drink.

Winston: So, what does your little problem have to do with his Majesty's Royal Air Corps?
O'Connell: Not a damn thing.
Winston: Is it dangerous?
O'Connell: Well, you probably won't live through it.
Winston: By Jove, do you really think so?
Jonathan: Well, everyone else we've bumped into has died. Why should you be any different?


Hangman

[O'Connell is about to be hanged]
Hangman: Any last requests, pig?
O'Connell: Yeah. Loosen the knot and let me go.
[The hangman says something to the warden in Arabic]
Warden Gad Hassan: [Angrily] Yahemar! Of course we don't let him go!
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