*"Tell me something you've never told anyone else before."I stared deep into his eyes.
"Okay but so do you."
"Fine but I asked first so spill."
"Ummm...swear never to tell a soul."
"No wait.Did you just say you loved me?"
"Ok just go."*
I ran my ice cold hands over the reddish-brown mahogany box.The wind blasting in my face every second. Burning tears finding their way out of my eyes.
*"Okay....ummm....I kinda...love you too. I kinda....fell out of love with Frankie a while back."
Gerard's eyes lit up.
I continued"I love Frank.I love him to death but I'm not IN love with him......but Gerard it's too late."
"It's never too late Amy."*
I thought out loud while standing over the grave"...it's all my fault."
I felt a warm hand placed on my shoulder."It's not your fault Amy. You know that."
"Mikey,it's all my fault and God knows it."I said bitterly.I was infuriated with myself.How could I let this happen?
"You can't help who you love."
*"I'm sorry Gerard but it is.I'm marrying Frank.That's just it."
"...but....Amy."he looked me directly in the eyes and I could see his own tears forming.As each one fell, my heart shattered more and more.Without thnking I leaned in closer to his face. Not knowing that what I was about to do would destroy my life.*
I watched as Mikey grabbed a handfull of dirt and let the soil slowly slip through his fingers into the the hole.He was in so much pain, I could almost taste it.As he turned to walk back to my side ,I repeated his steps.I stood at the grave and whispered"I love you....."
*My lips crashed into Gerard's and we were kissing passionately
I opened my eyes to see Gerard's motionless body sprawled on the floor in front of me. A bloody bullet hole in his head.
"Gerard!"I shrieked.I fell to his side.I looked up and saw Frank.My fiance standing there with a gun in his hands.All the pain in the world swimming through his chocolate brown eyes.
"...Amy.I..I thought you l...loved me." I began sobbing and he continued."I thought you were the one.I guess I was wrong."
"You didn't have to kill him!"
"Maybe not....but I for one can't take this any longer."
"Frank...Frank PLEASE!!! No Frank don't please!"
He lifted the gun to his head. I was frozen stiff."I love you Amy." and he pulled the trigger.*
I walked back to Mikey."He loved you so much Amy.He wouldn't want you tearing yourself up just cause you felt the same way."
I knew this was true.I know Gerard enough to know this but how could I not blame myself?
"I know....it's just...."I bit my lip trying to hold back the tears already easing their way down my face.Mikey pulled me in to a tight, friendly hug. This made me feel better.Not much, but anything that helps."It's ok.It's ok."
No it's not.
We pulled away from the hug."Thanks Mikey." I pulled out a bad excuse for a smile and walked away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~later that night~~~~~~~~
Everyone had left except for me. I needed to be alone with my haunting memories. I walked over to Gerard's grave and heard something."I...love.....you...too... Amyyy..."
My eyes welled up with tears and I smiled slightly."I love you Gerard."