Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The Trademark Dispute

Exit Stage Left

by Clell65619 3 reviews

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG-13 - Genres:  - Warnings: [X] - Published: 2007-10-20 - Updated: 2007-10-21 - 1207 words - Complete

5Funny


A/N: I own none of this. Honest. Nope, not me. Also none of the other characters who appear. Everything and everyone belongs to someone else. Thus is the story of my life.

Harry Potter and the Trademark Dispute.



Chapter 15 - Exit, Stage Left



"Harry."



"Go away."



"Harry, quit being silly." Hermione recentered her new tiara, and clinked her new Amazonium bracelets together. "What do you think?"



"Go talk to your new girlfriend." Harry moped



"Diana's left Harry. She's very disappointed you didn't join."



"Disappointed? She wouldn't let me. Every time I tried, she threw me across the room!"



"Not join us in bed, silly. Join the League. What are you so mad about? We let you watch."



"It's not the same. Plus after the 4th hour, just watching got a little old."



I've got an idea that will make it up to you."



"You do?" He did his best to appear only slightly interested. It wasn't easy, Hermione's ideas tended to be lots of fun.



She leaned close and whispered in his ear.



"BEST GIRLFRIEND EVER!"



---===ooo000ooo===---



"Mr. Potter?"



Harry looked up; the speaker was a tall bald man in an expensive muggle suit. He was accompanied by a very tall, very beautiful, very dangerous looking woman in a chauffeur's uniform.



"Hi there. Don't recognize the outfit, but I don't want to join the League of Heroes. Good Bye.



"My card Mr. Potter."



Harry accepted the card. This was new, none of the costumed loonies had cards.



Lex Luthor

Lexcorp International

Metropolis, London, Tokyo, Christs Church.



Chief Scientist

The Guild of Evil Overlords, Criminal Masterminds and Malevolent Sorcerers

Science Division



More Evil Than You

Since 1932.



/Sweet Merlin's Baggy Y-Fronts!/



"I'm sorry Mr. Luthor, I didn't recognize you. I meant no respect."



"I quite understand Mr. Potter. If I had been hounded by the costumed idiots you have had to deal with I would probably react the same way. I come bearing news of your primary adversary, Tom Riddle. He will not be bothering you any longer. I was wondering if you would be interested in applying to the Guild for a replacement arch foe?"



"Good lord no. No disrespect intended Mr. Luthor, but your Guild is dangerous. I want no part of the hero business. I just want to finish school and mess around with my Girlfriend."



"A wise decision on your part Mr. Potter. As Senior member of the Guild's board in the area I was obligated by the International Good vs Evil parity act of 1963 to make the offer. Really too bad, there are several young up and comers in our Magic Division who were quite looking forward to their crack at you. Well we won't be keeping you from your studies any longer."



"Mr. Luthor, before you go, could I ask a question?"



"Certainly my boy. How can I help you?"



"I was wondering why you put up with Superman's Secret Identity?"



Luthor was perplexed. "I'm not sure I understand what you are asking."



"Well I mean he uses a pair of glasses as a disguise. Imean the man has blue hair. I know you've just been humoring him for years, but I was wondering why? From what I read, he's as much a thorn in your side when Clark Kent writes his newspaper articles about you as when he foils one of your plots as Superman."



"Kent?" The Bald man was stunned.



"It was just something that I always wondered about, I mean you'd have to really be a moron to think that a pair of glasses would work as adisguise, so obviously he isn't all that bright. And it would take an even bigger moron to be fooled by it."



"Of course Mr. Potter." He had to get away from this kid.



"So I was right? You are just humoring him?"



"It's hardly fair to abuse the mentally disabled Mr. Potter. I really must go. Good Day young man."



Walking with Mercy to his waiting VTOL aircraft Luthor kept muttering "Kent. Of course. Blue Hair. Kent;"



"Good Lord Lex, talk about being too close to the problem. You really didn't know? I thought everyone knew. I mean a pair of glasses?"



"Shut up Mercy."



"Yes Lex..."



---===ooo000ooo===---



Harry reported to the room of requirements at exactly 8pm as directed by Hermione. She had promised that he would enjoy the evening. He opened the door and found a small crowd in waiting for him. Above a padded are was asign:



Hogwarts All House All Time Sweaty Naked Wrestling Championship





On the pads Hermione, Padma, Hannah, and Daphne were in various states of undress coated with a thin sheen of perspiration and flexing at him. Susan, Parvarti, Lavender and many other girls were warming up. With a flick of her wand Susan caused his clothing to vanish, as Hermione hit him in the chest with a flying drop kick, Padma put him in a scissors hold around his head and Daphne was pinning him with an assist from Hannah.



"eh gefnf ebah!" said Harry from inside Padma' thighs.



"What was that Harry? I didn't quite catch it."



"BEST GIRL FRIEND EVER!" chorused the girls.





---===ooo000ooo===---



The following day Lex Luthor made his way to the Leaky Cauldron, and was directed to a private room. His appointment was waiting for him.



"Congratulations. When you outlined your plan to eliminate Riddle I didn't think you could pull it off. I underestimated you. It won't happen again."



"So my application is accepted?" asked the cloaked figure.



"Most assuradely. Your method of eliminating him without expending any of your own assets is what I saw as the flaw in your method, using my own organization to do it for you was a stroke of genius, my fellow department heads had no clue. Well done indeed."



The cloaked figure raised the glass of fire whiskey in asalute and drank. "Your people are quite effective, if easily misled. So Ihave absolute dominion of the British Isles for the next 100 years?"



"As per our agreements." Luthor sat back. "Are you sure Potter and Dumbledore won't be a problem? I met with Potter after the elimination of Riddle, power just flows from him. He's just a boy now, but will grow into his power in a short period."



"Let me worry about Potter and Dumbledore. I am in complete control of the situation."



"As you wish." He extended the paper work for the required signatures. "The Guild will have no operations covert or overt in the British Isles for the next 100 years. During that time you will be allowed a free hand in making yourself the supreme ruler of the land." The man had an odd look. "I hope you know what you are asking for. Ruling sounds good, but the actual doing it can be a thankless task. You are certainly calculating enough, but are you cruel enough to do what you must do?"



"Mr. Luthor, I am the only child of not one but two BRITISH Dentists." Hermione Granger lowered the hood of her cloak, her eyes flashing. "Cruelty is in my genes."



Luthor paled. How long would it be before this girl came for him?



---===ooo000ooo===---
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