One fangirls scary thoughts about Gerards recent marriage.
These ain't really my feelings about Gerards marriage. Okay maybe a little but I amplified them in order to write an interesting piece. The concept of having feelings that strong really does scare me and what scares me more is that there are probably girls out there who could really identify with it. An example would be the owner of the pictures of Alicia Simmons with her eyes scratched out. I don't know if any of y'all have seen them, they came up not long after Mikey married her. Those pictures freaked me out and so totally made me feel bad for Alicia. Who knew you could get MCR fans to hate you just cause you married a member of the band.
For the past few days I've been thinking, and what I've been thinking makes me hate myself. The thoughts that come flying at me in all directions and won't leave me alone are irrational, maybe even a sign of some kind of psychological disorder. If that's the case I should find a good head doctor and get it fixed.
These thoughts started when I aquired a copy of the November 2007 Blender. My usually skim through, throw it aside, then actually read something later was abandoned when I saw in big bold print on page thirty-seven 'Gothly Weds' and above it a picture of Gerard Way. The paragraph bellow informed me that he had on the third of September he married a woman that went by the name Lyn-Z after a preformance in some amphitheater in Denver, Colorado. I stared at her name and the small picture of her inserted on the bottom right corner of Gerards picture for longer then I probably should've. I pronounced the syllables of her name and mine slowly and clearly over and over again, all the while thinking, 'My name is Lindsay.' To me both names sounded exactly the same, hers was just spelled the way that it's pronounced and mine is the more traditional spelling.
The fact that Gerard got married was something else as well. I know that my chances of ever meeting him were slim to nothing, and him even talking to me and liking me and wanting to give me his babies was out of the question. There's my imagination though, but knowing that another woman had him just ruined that. She's going to be the one to receive his love and babies now and my fantasy land is currently on the curb on Tuesday morning waiting for the weekly garbage truck. Now my fantasies are filled with them fighting and getting devorced and sharing custody of baby Dracula on weekends.
These are the thoughts that make me hate myself. Any other fangirl wouldn't care. She would glance at the article, feel a pang of jelousey for a moment, then shrug and get over it. Others would maybe go 'awww' and leave comments on MCR's myspace wishing them the best of luck, much like what I had done when Mikey got married. Not me, I haven't gotten over it at all and it's scaring me.
I looked her up on the Internet a couple days ago. Lyn-Z (her give name is spelled Lindsey) is a musician as well. She plays bass for Mindless Self Indulgence, a band that several people had recommended to me several times in the past year. So with that in mind I checked them out. I like them. The music is different, I don't think I've heard anything like it before. I now have more respect for Lyn-Z then when I read the article, but I'm still jelous. I don't think I'll ever stop being jelous. Hopefully though the before mentioned fantasies will go away with time.
"If I ever have a kid I'd name him Dracula."- Gerard Way, quoted from another issue of Blender and my reason for calling their hypothetical baby Dracula.